Helper Says too Tired??

Our helper has been with us for nearly 2 years and been very good. However, in the last couple of months she's been moody and looks miserable. She says simply that she's tired because she works so hard. She says she wants everything perfect which means she has to work hard. She does, and she goes beyond that, even when she has spare time she usually bakes - without us asking.


Now she wants us to get another helper to make it easier. We already have one helper who takes care of our child and also assists with the housework. But we do have a large 3 storey house, garden and two dogs. We feel we do compensate her well - we pay about 20% over the minimum, gave her a 3 month xmas bonus, and paid and allowed for her son to come an stay with us for two weeks. When we have guests staying we also give her an extra bonus.


Now we're not sure what to do, we like her, but don't feel like getting a third helper. We find it strange that before the child she was the only helper and could cope easily - hence the pay rise and bonus.


But we're also thinking that perhaps she's just someone who's never going to be satisfied whatever happens.

Hmm, I don't think you need a third helper either but I would look at how you're dividing the jobs between both helpers.


I feel that she's probably not satisfied because she feels she's doing so much more than your other helper who only does simple tasks because she has to look after a baby. Remember that while a baby takes up a lot of our attention, a helper/mother can still do a lot of housework. My sister has a double storey house in Canada and she looks after two children under 4, her hubby and sometimes has to clean her inlaws place as well. What's more, my sister works 10 hours 4 times a week at a university.


I would just try to divide the work more evenly between the two helpers - for example, one helper minds the dogs, the other minds your child. Then housework can be divided up evenly. Do a roster for some jobs so they can rotate and won't feel that one's doing more than the other.


Minding a baby shouldn't be an excuse for not doing the housework. For example, instead of hanging the clothes in the morning, she might do it at 1pm after baby sleeps.


Good luck :-)

I've been guilty of precisely what your helper has been doing to herself in the past...working too hard, doing way more than what is expected and then wondering why I'm so exhausted!


Sit down with her and work out what tasks you need her to do and what kind of timeframe she needs to do them. If she choses to do lots extra without being asked, then it's her own fault that she's so run down. If you trust her to look after the baby, perhaps there could be some jobs your helpers could swap, such as she could take a break and sit down for a while whilst the baby sleeps whilst the other helper washed some dishes (just a suggestion).


Failing that, she couold be sick. It could be something as simple as a little anemia or she might have a thyroid imbalance which can be fixed with a simple course of meds.


If you're happy with her otherwise then it's worth working through it to fix the problem.

I agree with all of the above. Besides that, your helper should not expect you to hire a third helper, I think that is quite out of line to begin with to even pose the question.


If she chooses to go over and above what is expected of her, that is her choice. My helper will sometimes iron into the night. I have told her explicitly not to work once the dinner is over and for her to relax as she needs her rest. However, she says to me, it's okay, I'm not tired. Many times I have had the conversation with her about it until I finally said, fine then I don't want you saying you are too tired during the day. She doesn't do this every night, but maybe once a week or once a fortnight.


I have to say, without any disrespect, and I know that most helpers work hard, mine certainly does and we really appreciate it, but I have come from Aust where I raised my child, cleaned the house, cooked dinner, had a travelling husband so away lots and also worked full time.


I did everything without help and I managed. Yes, I was buggered most of the day, but that was life, not to mention all the other responsibilities that go with a house and family and work.


As I have said to our helper, the bath doesn't need scrubbing every day, the floor doesn't need mopping every day (unless something has been spilt). We sat down and worked out a plan to work smarter, not harder.


As adele78, perhaps your helper may be anemic, that would certainly explain the tiredness. A simple blood test will rule out anything medical.


You certainly seem to go over and above what is required of an employer with the pay, etc., so if she is just tired and wants a cruisy contract, then tell her to suck it up, she is well cared for, so get on with it.

My helper was found suffering from severe anemia..she too was tired all the time and i realised that it wasn't something happened on particular days but all the time. One trip to the doc with the test confirmed the same and she had to take iron tablets for 3 mths. I know they are adults and can look after themselves but just causally check about her diet too. I realised mine was not really eating right..not much fruits, milk etc ...once i found out made sure that she ate the right stuff and now shes absolutely fine.