Posted by
Jenkie
15 yrs ago
I have recently gotten a call from a friend who has been raped by her male employer in Yuen Long...I am into a church ministry and she is one of our member but ever since she has gotten a new employer in Yuen Long last year,she wasn't able to come to our church because her employer doesn;t give her sunday off nor regular rest days.Last few months she complained about her male employer misbehaving.While she is in the kitchen ,her boss will grab her butts and massage her breast from behind and then offered her a 50 $ at first then a hundred $ later.She refused and just cried and begged her employer not to take advantage of her.But the problem was the employer knew her identity.For some reason,which I do not know exactly,She is using different name from her previous employment.She was terminated before and still paying off the agency so she was forced to retake the agencies offer to find a new employer for her which she need to pay additional amount,meaning she is paying off her agency double price...all the years her earnings goes to her agency and just 'lil amount left for her that she could hardly support her 2 kids back home.We encourage her to report the incident to the police but she was afraid because she might go to jail too regarding of her changed name status.Now that her employer raped her once last month ,we were afraid it will happen again,so we asked her to terminate the contract right away and go to the police but sadly she is not strong enough thinking she will go to jail as well.She can't afford to pay a month of liu if she will terminate her contract but if she give one month notice she fears that her employer will abuse her sexually everyday.
I am very troubled and would want to report it to the police but also worried about my friend being held for her forge document...my heart is tearing apart and is melting with tears!
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FKKC
15 yrs ago
I hope your church can help by letting her stay in their premises during the proceeding with the police. It's better to come clear herself than fearing rape and also at the same time, disclosed the agency who is apparently taking advantage of her earnings.
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Million thanks for your concern and support BEANCURD and FKKC...I just noticed that not many bloggers here are willing to help those people in needs.They only pay attention to those things that will benefits themselves.I've copied the information you have sent me and hopefully I can help her get justice.I was told that she may be in jail for 3 to 6 months if found out that she is using different name in her passport.But I do believe that there is something should be done before her maniac employer ruined the life of every helper he will hire.My friend was informed by the previous maid that she was terminated because she has been molested and she complained to her mada, but instead her madam accused her of making up story and got fired.(good for her to be fired at least she didn't experienced being rape)
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IF, her male employer does do it again (hopefully not), she must get out of the home immediately and go to a doctor, tell them what happened and they will get a DNA test as proof, that he did this to her. She needs proof.
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Thanks Jassy, you are right , our counsilor said she need to be tested, but my friend only managed to get in touch with us after a week because she has no regular off day.During that time of brutal incident she couldn't think wisely ,just thinking of her debts and family back home if she will run away.
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FKKC
15 yrs ago
Jenkie,
You should try to approach Ed here as he/she mentioned in another thread just a few hours ago & I quote:" Btw - if anyone is experiencing or knows of someone who is experiencing physical or mental abuse at the hands of their employer (it happens all the time sadly, and it is disgusting), please come to our office and we will help you find another job. We will also support you if you would like to prosecute an employer who breaks the law - the unfortunate thing is employers who engage in such abhorrent behavious are seldom punished - perhaps if a few were convicted all of this would stop..." Unquote
Maybe Ed overlooks your plead for help on your case in this thread - hope he/she sees this and try to do something which would be a great thing for all concerned.
Good luck and hope everything goes well with your friend.
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maxis
15 yrs ago
I sincerely hope that this story is not true, however it is very worrying and concerning.
It would seem unlikely that it won't happen again.
This poor lady is in a very dangerous situation.
Until she leaves she is in extreme danger.
This is extreme physical assault, it is not harassment (which is very, very wrong, please don't misunderstand this comment), it is a criminal act which should result in jail time.
One cannot speculate how far a cowardly person of this ilk will go, and again, she is in extreme danger.
It is difficult to take advice from strangers but no matter what she has done with her name etc, she needs protection and removal from the situation IMMEDIATELY!.
Although she is scared regarding her employment indecretion, she should be more scared for her own personal safety and life.
Please urge her to contact the solicitor (or consulate or overseas workers aid oragnisation?). Although she will be in some sort of trouble for the name issue (perhaps, perhaps not too much, get the proper legal advice) she needs to be placed immediately somewhere safe amongst people who care for her well being.
The abuse that has happened to her is not even remotely in the same ball park as over-working someone, underpaying, yelling - THIS IS HIGH DANGER and if she was my freind or acquaintence I would go there right now and take her to the church and see an experienced solicitor the next day.
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The helper is responsible for falsifying her identity records. She needs to face the consequences for that.
The employer if proven to have assaulted/raped his helper should be jailed for that.
If the case is not reported to the police, there's no way the employer will face the consequences of his actions if indeed he did it. The OP asked what should she do, the answer is clear, advise the helper to report to the police. The helper decides what to do next.
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FKKC -
I don't think Ed can help here because the helper, although pitiable as a rape victim, is also guilty of a criminal offense (falsifying her identity documents), and is likely to be spending some time in jail, and might not be able to work in HK again.
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FKKC
15 yrs ago
Maybe so, Snow Rose......one never knows for sure. Anyway, the offer is there and it's really up to the helper if she genuinely wants the assistance or not. Maybe going to the police or to her own consulate would be a better choice in her case.
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Yes, it does sound a bit iffie - this helper was terminated from her previous job, is heavily in debt despite having been working as a DH for years and has falsified her passport/ID documents.
Now claims she has been raped and is subject to regular sexual abuse from her current employer. But as posters on this forum we can only comment on the information we have as if it were the truth. What kind of detail or facts are you looking for? And if you think she's lying, what do you suspect her of trying to achieve? Even though she is (allegedly) a rape victim, I don't think any compassionate employer will offer her a job or financial help, because of the other information we know about her, and if/when she goes to the police she will likely get in a whole load of trouble about this business of not using her real name.
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I really appreciate those who had given thier support and adviced.I don't expect everyone would believe because I'm the only one here knew the victim personally.She's been in our church before she got terminated with her previous employer because of her poor english and even called my friend stupid in her termination letter.But i would suggest everyone to think about what would you do if you ever see her face to face .She is a timid person and can't even express herself.LOYD GROSSMAN ,I understand you for making such a thought about setting up her employer but how could she ever make up a story while she can't even defend herself?She doesn't speak english , very pale and exactly look like a corpse.What will she get for making up a story? She had enough having trouble from her previous employment,present employer, her debts and her documents.All she did was cried to us and told us she is desperately want to go home but she doesn't know how.She has no regular holiday, no money to go somewhere ,no telephone and just wait for her luck to sneak a phone call .That's why it took her more than a week after the raped before she informed us the incident....Her employer uses her identity to blackmail her in order to shut her up!She told us the employer commented " you are not really good looking but it was fun"...despite of her looks ,never even bother to comb her hair, looks like a dead woman,her employer still have the urge to use her...isn't he a maniac? if not then I don't know what would you call him.
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Hi Cristy hk, maraming salamat sa information.I just wrote it down. I couldn't make a move since I cannot get in touch with her.All I knew was she is working in Yuen Long but no contact # .Just meet her once before the raped happened during public holidays when her employer allowed her to take 3 hours off.But she was always in our church every sunday during her first employment..
Our Chinese Pastor made a way to talk to her and was willing to help.Just that we don't know her address.
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By the way LOYD GROSSMAN, she's in in heavy debts because on her first employment she was terminated and still paying her agency who brought her here to work .She still have to pay for about 70,000 pesos remaining in her agent.And added another amount which I don't know exactly how much when she returned to Hk to work with her present employer and still paying up until now.She hasn't any penny that she can barely go somewhere .
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That is the real problem Snow Rose...My question is what to do with a maniac employer? I am trying to give my friend a tip if ever her employer will attack her again,since that she is so coward ,timid and I could say stupid enough for not reporting it to the police, but I also understand her side for fears of being jailed, being raped,being jobless,penniless,still in debts and feeling unworthy to her husband .
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Hello, you should definitely report this to the police, whether she has falsified her identity, which is a minor offence compared to rape, or whether the girl is weak, it would be much worse if this were to continue and it is a crime and must be reported. Whether it is possible to prove her employers guilt or not at least this will remove the girl from such a terrible situation. I certainly hope you will do so , it should have been done immediately and not covered up. - Daniel Peters
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Jenkie,
Assuming that her story is true (and I think we should assume that while doing some checking as well), I think this boils down to a 'prisoners dilemma' (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prisoner's_dilemma). As you can read on this wiki page, the best solution is if both people keep their mouth shut.
In a real prisoners dilemma the two prisoners (the DH and her empoyer) cannot talk to each other which causes all the issues. But in your situation they can and that's where the DH has an advantage.
If I were her, I would do the following:
- Terminate the contract immediately and do NOT pay the month in lieu
- If the employer want the month in lieu, she should threaten to expose him to the police about the rape (for which he will get many years in jail if true)
- He might then threaten her to expose her idenitity issue (for which she will lose her job, go to jail? (less long than him) and have to leave the country).
THE KEY IS that her negative consequence is less grave than his negative consequence, so if he has only a little bit inteligence, he will take the bait and keep quiet and keep up his happy Hong Kong family life.
It's a power game and she has the upper hand. If however the 'rape' is not really a rape (i.e. massage her breast is not rape but indecent assault), then she does not have the upper hand and it might make the resolution more difficult.
Last but not least to everyone who says rape is serious and needs to be reported. I fully agree in principle and something should be done to prevent other DH getting into the same situation with this employer.
However the fact is, that this DH has a serious life situation on hand and cannot afford to go to the police, else she will not only go to jail, but also lose her job, income, etc, etc which in return support the wellbeing of her family back home. This is real life and not some moral high-ground, so I truly advise her the approach above
....if the rape really happened
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Thanks LOYD Grossman, am sure it was so easy for you to say go to have a DNA CHECK UP because your smart and not stupid like her.We did suggested that way right after we learned what happened.But how can you do that when nobody are able to locate her? ANy idea? AND WHAT PROOF DO YOU WANT?... tO See her employer on top of her or either one of them DIE? is that what you mean of proof? so then the whole world will know that there is bad thing happened between employer and a helper....CHURCH PEOPLE are not that naive for your information!..
She doesn't have any source of contact...take note" she just wait for her luck to sneak a phone call from her employers landphone! How could then she have that high tech camera phone?
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Jenkie, keep it cool. Loyd was SUGGESTING some tips that he thinks might be of help to put your friend's employer behind bars. I was going to suggest the same thing.
It's too bad for your friend but she has to really face this if she wants her employer to not RAPE her again. I know it must be bad for her. I can see that her situation is almost like the Filipina helper who found money in trash (please see my other post - http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/forums/hong-kong-domestic-help/threads/127131/honest-dh-returns-hk-$350545-and-gets-a-can-of-cookies-as-reward-:)/)
It must be very hard for her but she has to make a decision asap. Put herself together and face this. I'm just curious, why did she have to change her name to be able to come to HK again? I've been told by my helper that changing helper's name must mean she must've over stayed in HK before must've committed something for her name to be banned or something.
Hope everything goes well for your friend. I feel bad for her and like all the other posters, I'd love to hear her employer is serving his time behind bars.
Please keep us posted.
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Ok, everyone! I did the researched and I found out that she worked in Dubai before coming to Hk, and she was under age that time so she had used her older sister 's name.And for conveniency,since she already has that passport,she didn't bother to changed it when she applied for work in HK .She arrived here in HK 2 yrs ago in her first employment but she was terminated.When she signed the documents in her current contract,she mistakenly uses her real name.She went back to Philippines while waiting for her Visa and then the agency noticed the difference from her passport and her signed contract and other documents.So, the agent informed the employer about that and they made a way to brought the helper here .This time she uses her real name.She said that she is willing to file a complaint if we can make sure that she will not be going jail .Our Pastor is tracking her location at this moment.
Thanks to all
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Oh, man! where can we throw that phone to her.?She just came to church once this year for just half hour because her employer just let her out for 3 hrs and That time ,she hasn't been rape.She only complained about grabbing butts and massaging her breast.
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Your friend is weak and vulnerable right now, and is not in the best mind set to make logical decisions. She needs support.
Why won't she quit and leave ? Simple answer. No money and uncertainty.
Perhaps the church can get a whip round of money enough for two months salary for her, give her shelter so that she can pull herself together and then report the crime.
She needs "rescuing". The question is: Are you willing to go and rescue her physically from this?
Sometimes good friends are the ones who just come and pull us away from danger.
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Loyd, please read my post above!
How can I call the police while the complainant herself doesn't want to report it.The reason is very clear" SHE FEARS THAT SHE WILL GO TO JAIL BECAUSE OF HER DIFFERENT NAME THAT SHE USED TO WORK HERE A YEAR AGO." Her employer is not a terrorist, I don't think If I call the police they will do the search in the entire Yuen Long Area to locate her, since, I do not know her adrress.It will be useless filing a case if the complainant will not cooperate.We had helped one of our member 3 years ago.She has so many evidence in her body..her employer's mother(old folk) burned her legs with boiled water, got bruises in her body, a vedio of her employer pulling her hair..She almost win the case but because of her stupidity she was lost...WHY? ..BECAUSE before the trial start, her employer got a chance to talked to her and threathened her about the medicine she uses for her dysmenorrhea.She brought a bottle of wine with mixed herbs from the Philippines for her treatment,the employer show it to her and says it is illegal to bring such things in Hongkong and she will go to jail for that..The poor helper was scared to death and dropped the case .She ended paying the employer instead...I think nobody here understand what exactly is being "TIMID AND STUPID" When you ever know someone like this, I suggest, it is best to understand them and help them out instead of playing smart.THANKS HUGGY!,,,Sent her phone by parcel is really a good idea, but the problem is there is no where to send? She is alone sometimes in the morning being locked up at home without keys.
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jenkie, how did you know that she is alone sometimes and being locked up at home without key! As you said you don't have any contact with her...your statement is quite confusing...better stop this topic...it's a waste of time...
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MATRIX ..please read the whole story..She came to our church once during public holiday when her employer let her out for 3 hours.It was MAY 1(LABOR DAY) THE RAPED HAPPENED 2 WEEKS LATER.If you find this thread a waste of time,why bother to read this post...AND DON'T RESPOND IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE HEART!
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Am pretty sure that those people who enjoying thier lives in thier palaces will have difficulties to understand those people who are living in hell.If you only know how to live a royal life and doesn't care about the peasantry ,then I suggest you to have a taste of being a peasant.!..This is an "ADVICE THREAD SECTION" not a DEBATE SECTION OR A FORUM" I give details in order to get an advice.
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Jenkie
You come across as a maniac - your english is poor, your story convuluded and you seem to be unnecessarily hostile towards anyone who makes a comment which isn't pleasing to you.
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THANKS HAT TRICK!.some of the commentor here doesn't understand the whole situation including you so..If you don't understand my english then that's your problem, not mine.
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Hi Jenkie...I understand everything..you need an advice? Just tell your friend to keep a knife in her pocket,if her employer make a move, just simply stab him since she doesn't want to report to the police then let the crime speak for herself.
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Our PAstor did checked her membership record and now searching her address in the Philippines hoping we could at least get some information from her family...Julia Nicole, we never came across to think that way.Our Pastor advised other members to keep a chilli powder or a pepper powder,He said just spray it directly to the eyes.
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Who would get a jail sentance for using a false name ? It's the rape which is serious and should be reported. Not doing so and then waiting for it to happen again is asking for trouble isn't it ?
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LOyd Grossman. the person who was raped and the person who has been in court are not the same person.The one who has been to court and was lost are also one of our church member.(different person,and she is now working happily in Canada)I mentioned about her case as an example of a coward person.We did everything to help her out but she messed up. To win the case is totally depends on the complainant, .We had helped her all the way but when her employer threathend here she withdraw the case .So our effort was just a waste.If I call the police and report the rape ,it will be useless if the victim will not cooperate.The video was captured by the surveillance at thier house.Some of the employer here in HK normally set up a video cam at home to know every moves of thier helper while they were away.I don't think It's necessary to tell you every details about the rape... I'm not the only one who knew the details ,Our Pastor knew and the entire church.I am not her lawyer but just trying to find a way to help her out.
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I feel so pity with those kind of people who doesn't know how to depense themselves and fight for thier safety...If i were your friend, I will skin that beast employer alive and chopped him off into piesces, then cook in a pot and serve to his wife for dinner!
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dj74
15 yrs ago
Hi Jenkie,
I totally understand what you are trying to do and I'll say you are doing great for helping your congregant.Sexual assault/harrassment (punishable criminal offense) that left unreported to the authorities/police will most likely lead to RAPE(punishable by lethal injection,firing squad,guillotine or stoned to death!).If you so concern and eager to help which if I were in your shoes I will go the distance to help whoever I know who is in serious trouble,you should seek help from the Philippine Consualte/Assistance To Nationals and Helpers for Domestic Helpers in St.John Cathedral.The Phil. consulate knew where axactly is your congregant and her employer lives, they always retained one copy of every contract proccessed in thier office.And from there all actions needed in order to prosecute this evil employer will happened in no time.We don't want another rape to happened!!!!Also the Philippine consulate will provide her assistance for the passport forgery she in an unfortunate circumstances committed.They will provide her documents to support her case to lessen her jail term if not totally avoid it!!!
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hey jenkie
,, if you complain to the police they can get they can get the address of the employer from immigration dpet they dont need to check whole of yuen long-- the police have their ways but they need to be told about the crime afterwards the ball is in their court.
its been a long time and i hope & pray this has not happenned again
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