Am I crazy?

Say NO. Follow your instinct on this one.


But you could offer to helper her save money better by contributing to her social security account or helping to be sure she puts away part of her salary every month for savings.

My DH has asked me for a loan to pay off her agency fees, buy a piece of land and build her house too.

Re: deleted comments and warning.


Please pick up a dictionary and look up the word racism.


Making derogatory generalized comments about an ethnic group is blatant racism


Best to learn this because any further comments of that nature will = ban.

You are not crazy at all. You can always give her extra money or bonus for Chinese New Year. Don't let her borrow too much money from you because it will cause you so much trouble once the helper finds out it's easy to get cash from the employer.

We have lent several lots of money to our helper. She is paid above basic at 5K a month but was previously on 6K with a very well off family. She is a fantastic helper and I can not fault her performance, attitude or honesty. We can afford not to see the money again an I guess that is the attitude I have taken when advancing the money. It does annoy me but then I have never had to experienc supporting several families and having no one to go to for help. She has worked 22 years in HK with no husband or family of her own so I do admire her dedication to her extended family whom she houses, feeds, clothes and puts through college. The money has always been paid back by reduced wages over the subsequent months. However I stress that it does still sometimes annoy me and I have to sometimes give myelf a bit of wake up call because the amounts while large in comparison with her salary are not large in comparison to our discretionary spending and she has done nothing but exceed expectations in her four years with us. This last week there was yet another request for a forward loan and I decided to simply pay off the debts so as not to have to worry about them anymore and because it was causing her so much stress. Right or wrong I don't know, I realise there will be more spending by the family at home to rack up new debts.... the responsibility and guilt I feel has made me think that after this July when we move I will no longer employ anyone full time. Which is a shame as she has been a joy to have around in every other respect and it is not her spending that leads to the debt. She and I it would seem have to charcaterstics in common - neither of us can say No. Whenever I have considered saying no, I wonder if we would then force her to borrow the money from a loan shark leading to more drama and difficulty and changing helpers may lead to other problems. I also had to come to terms with the fact that I would never know what the money was really for.

Dreistein - someone must have posted a racist comment, ED deleted it, and left that note for the person whose note he deleted - not for you!! Oh my, please don't worry, your post was fine!!

A whole years salary?? That I could not and would not do, I can't see how she would ever be able to pay it back and still be able to meet her other financial obligations. She would have to work for you for five years if she paid it back at 1,000 a month or have i got that wrong?

Our helper who was also employed with us in singapore used to frequently ask for advances in money. Never very much but once we had done it once it just got more and more frequent. We never advanced more tha she had already earnt for that month. We bought her with us to HK and have made it absolutley clear that we will not advance any money at all. It is her responsibility for managing her money and although it sounds harsh I cannot feel guilty for the fact she is supporting family at home who constantly pester her for money. It just makes me appreciate how lucky I and my family are.

Dreistein....1 years salary???? My gosh, you are a generous one to even consider it.

I made it clear with my DH's that I will never lend money so never ask for it.

If ever my DH needs a loan, it has to be an extremely important reason for her to even approach me with it.

Good luck.