Posted by
matsai
15 yrs ago
I am currently struggling to choose between two helpers. The first one is married. 32 age. She has two small kids. The second one is single, 34. she is youngest in her family.
I myself have two young kids. One toddler and one is seven-year-old. The married one is more suitable for us as far as our kids are concerned since she has kids of her own and should be more sensitive to children's things. But the issue of moral hazards hangs over my head. If I hired the married one, she will be leaving her beloved kids behind and keep missing them while working. The single one wont have that problem, but she will be less senstive to kids' stuff. (like kids' well being, their health and them having fever...although she may still love them.). How should I choose?
Please support our advertisers:
the married one of course. you will be providing employment which will help her to finance the health, grow up and education of her kids back home. in fact you should feel guilty if you don't hire her.
...just trying to show you both sides of the argument :)
Please support our advertisers:
All else being equal (which of course it isn't) I would say the married one.
Please support our advertisers:
The married one of course. She should be more experienced and hands on with kids stuff, also more mature.
For the single one, though she does not have a family, she may have a boyfriend and keep missing him during work. Also she is the youngest one in the family so she may be used to being taken care of....
Please support our advertisers:
"actually i really wanted a married helper that already had kids"
That was also one of my prerequisites. When you have kids then you really want someone who ot only knows how to look after them but understands how to do it with love and care.
Please support our advertisers:
Thank every one of you.
We originally decided to hire a married one. But when the nine-year-old boy of her knew that her mother was going to leave for Hong Kong, the boy would not let the mother leave and they both cried very bad!...
So we have finally hired a single one! I do not want my children's well being to be built on another child's sorrow.
Please support our advertisers:
As I said above all things are not equal. You will never "two of the same" with the only difference being marital status. You have to look at the individual person.
Please support our advertisers:
you are very right, cara. But I cannot imagine my wife going away for 15 years right from the begining of my son's early age.
My last helper, who worked with us for almost 5 years, left us because her teenage daughter ran away from home and school just to demand her mother to be reunited with her. This daughter, being separated from her mother for nine years, said she would rather go to a public school, if her mother promised to stay in Philippines. This mother, my good helper, had no choice
Having gone through this heart-broken incidence, having heard that the new married candidate had a son who does not want her mother to leave for Hong Kong, I opt for the single candidate.
Please support our advertisers:
Although this has been resolved, I would have said, if I had seen this earlier - don't hire someone who is the youngest in the family (all things etc). We did this, and now we have a third, 35-year old, child to take care of. Normally the older children take on various resposibilities (in all countries/cultures, I'm sure), and the younger ones don't learn how to do things for themselves.
(I would say the same about choosing a man to marry, of course, the same applies.)
Please support our advertisers:
You must be logged in to be able to reply.
Login now
Copy Link
Facebook
Gmail
Mail