Posted by
librarian
17 yrs ago
Hi All,
I am new to HK, only here 3 months. This is the first time ever we have had a DH so I can't tell if I'm overreacting or not, please help.
On Monday I came home at noon to find my two children (age 8 and 10) unattended. They said the DH went to "take out the recycling" and that she'd been gone for 10 minutes. Obviously, this is not an urgent task that requires leaving children unattended, nor does it take 10 minutes. Therefore, I went out to the elevator and caught her returning home with lunch she purchased somewhere.
She apologized, but I told her 1) there was plenty of food she could have cooked or 2) she could have taken the children with her. I also said if it happened again she wouldn't work for us anymore.
However, would you let even one occasion be acceptable? I work full time and there have been so many problems with her in just 3 months ("losing" receipts, putting a Chinese silk jacket in the washing machine and destroying it, being unable to follow simple directions such as "put one pizza in the oven at a time", etc.) When is enough enough?
Am I overreacting, or letting her walk all over me? I don't have enough experience with DHs to know. Please help. And is leaving children unattended even once legal grounds for firing? thanks
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some people on this forum might have noticed I am very pro-helper rights, but leaving kids unattanded is a huge no-no in my books, even if they are 8 and 10. She should have taken them with her, no two ways about it. Is there a reason you want to keep her? I.e - she is great with kids, good at looking after the household etc? If yes, give her a warning, if she ever leaves kids alone, she is out. If you are just not happy with her full stop - there are plenty of great DH out there looking for jobs. Good luck
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losing" receipts, putting a Chinese silk jacket in the washing machine and destroying it, being unable to follow simple directions such as "put one pizza in the oven at a time", etc - this I can work with and with a little training and oodles of patience can be rectified.
Leaving the children unattended is not acceptable especially as she had actually left your building. I would not hesitate to terminate her contract.... I would never allow her the opportunity of ever being able to do it again.
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Thanks to all 3 of you. I just got off the phone to the Labor dept. to know what to do, as I consider this gross negligence and misconduct. I guess the bottom line for me is that I simply can't trust her to care for my children when she did this and has been working for us for less than 3 months actually (since mid-August).
I hate to be in the position to terminate someone, but if I can't trust her then how can I keep her?
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I agree that i would not leave my kids at that age but perhaps she had been told it was OK in a previous job for short periods or that and if you never explicitly told her otherwise she may have assumed it was OK with you too.
Maybe talk to her about why she thought it was OK to leave them so at least to give her the opportunity to learn for the next employer.
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sorry to say this but it is negligence.. i have work for a family with an 8yr boy, but i have him stand by the door of the flat when i take the rubbish out or i take him with me when i have to take dry cleaning to the club house of the complex..i never took him out without his parents permission kids are kids.. and an accident may happend at any time..
i wont think of putting the child who's under my care and responsibilty in a risky
situation...
household chores can be learned... ruined clothes can be replaced but a persons life will never be replaced..
so i think you'd be well justified in firing her.. its just not acceptable...
my two cents
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when it is involving children, there is no excuse and no "one more chance". If she can risk your children for once, for sure, she wont change much even you told her.
nothing can replace your children.
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suze
17 yrs ago
Not acceptable at all! A horrible situation but you have to let her go.
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Thank you all for your moral support. I have agonized over this since Monday. Now the next question: do I sit her down now and let her know she will leave us on Oct. 31? Or do I sit her down on Oct. 31 and terminate her? Either way, I will give her till the end of the month, since I don't get paid till the end of the month. Any recommendations? I want to be fair, but I also don't want anything worse to happen.
thanks in advance.
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ShazP
17 yrs ago
If you can let her go soon, do it sooner rather than later.
If you can only let her go on 31/ 10 then let her know on the day itself. I would not let my DH know I was letting her go in a few days & then leave my kids with her.
She has already proved she has no sense of responsibility towards your kids. Just give her a couple of hours to leave & she herself will want to will leave ASAP....
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