Could my helper have been scammed?

My helper asked to borrow a large about money for something, we flatly refused and said we don't lend money. A few days later she came crying to us saying her mother was in hospital and she needed to send her some money. Of course we didn't believe this for a second and said we would fly her back to the Philippines to visit her, she didn't want to and said she wanted the money instead. This time she asked for half the amount she asked for before. We gave it to her.....didn't know what else to do.

I was still very suspicious, so decided to do some snooping, I asked other helpers and found out she has been borrowing money from them and to top it off, I find money transfer reciepts.........to Nigeria! Well anyone sending money to Nigeria needs their head checked! From what I can gather she has been sending money over there for quite some time, to a man, supposedly American (Why an American would need money from a Philippino, I have no idea). I am guessing she has gone on some dating website, struck up a relationship with a bogus man that is part of some Nigerian scam.

I am so angry! I don't know how to confront her and tell her she is being scammed. From what I can gather, she is now is dept up to her eyeballs. I am angry that someone could take advantage of her and rip her off, knowing she is philippino and hasn't got much money to start with.

I need some suggestion of how to confront her about this and also just to warn you that it could be happening to your helper too.

I have read on websites about these Nigerian scammers targeting Asian women and Christian dating websites. I can't believe anyone would fall for that!

Firstly, I think you probably realise that snooping through her personal stuff isn't really the right thing to do ... I'm sure you wouldn't want anyone snooping through yours. However, I can fully understand why you did it! You've already lent her half the money she asked for and she will no doubt come up with some other reason to ask you for more ... has she told you how/when she intends to pay you back?


At the end of the day, if she's got herself into money troubles, that's her problem and not yours. Personally, I would make it quite clear to her that you are not a money lender and will not be lending any more money for any reason, so she should not ask again. As so many people here are often saying, helpers are adults and should be treated accordingly ... that being the case, they should be responsible for their own actions, her money problems are not yours. If I was stupid enough to get myself into debt, I wouldn't go running to my boss expecting him to bail me out ... it would be a sure way of getting me fired!


I would broach the subject with her, perhaps by saying that you have heard about some scams going on (maybe mention Nigeria!) and tell her that you want to make her aware of it as you would be concerned for her if she got caught up in anything. It's unlikely that she'll confess, but at least she might realise that you are on her case. But even if she did confess, there's nothing you can do about it now ... unless you lend her the rest of the money!

Your helper is greedy. This scams have been news with the Filipino community and been a warning to a lot of Filipino free newspapers. A lot have been scammed, if she never learned from other peoples mistake , maybe she wanted to experience it personally. I also get this kind of messages from Facebook or other social gathering network. But I ignored those messages because they only want to scam me.

Some of the Nigerian and Ghana'a,ans are the biggest scammers going, a lot of very corrupt things going on there, drugs, false marriage scams. Many try to marry Europeans for money just to get into Europe, same with Americans, they marry just to get another identity, then pay off the bride, and hey presto they have another identity and nationality. They are experts in forcing young naive people into drugs and prostitution, and extorting money out of them on the way.

Yes the problem is your helpers, and she has to you to get money, and lied about her mother being ill which is a terrible thing to do.

Personally I couldn't trust a woman like this in my home, it is up to you what you do with her, but if she has lied like this, then she will continue to do so about anything she needs from you.

It happened to my friend's helper - she was sending money to the states and not Nigeria. She met this guy online dating and he told her that he would marry her but needed some money etc etc. She kept asking my friend some money to borrow quite a bit of time - the helper's excuse was same as everyone - "my mother is sick" or "my daughter is in hospital". How many times they have been hospitalised and had to have operations??


Anyway, my friend talked to her and she confessed that it was a man whom she was sending the money. A huge mistake my friend made was that she did not keep a record for lending the helper money which is pretty stupid. When she asked the helper how and when she was going to pay back, the helper said "I never borrowed money". Of course, she fired her.


When my helper asked for a loan, I told her that I don't do the loan thing, but I would give her advance payment i.e. deduct from her salary. I keep the salary note and get her sign every months so we can truck down how much we gave her advance payment.


I think you have to talk to her - just brining up the subject about those scammers and tell her as if it actually happened to your friend's helper or something like that. and also talk to her how she is going to pay you back - hope you have a letter signed by her about the loan!

answer to the question: yes, definitely a scam.

would you like to hear from a helper's side?

Your want to confront you helper about the scam clearly shows your concern for her. By all means, just do so. Doesnt matter if you went snooping (thats the only way you would know what she's really up to). That would be her least concern anyway. Tell her what you found out and explain her why you dont think it is a good idea to lend her money. That person she's been sending money to could be someone posting as a foreigner who promised to marry her or a bogus employer usually from UK asking for placement/processing fee. Whatever she's into might have made her feel important thats why she's holding on to it. You can try doing reverse psychology (it is especially effective to naive filipinas who thought they know what they're doing). Make sure you point out how she could deceive anybody, esp. you, and kill her mother over and over again just to send money to someone who you're pretty sure is a fake (be prepared to presemt facts!). Reprimand her without as much as accusing her. I know its a lot of sugar-coating but i think thats the only way to keep her from being defensive. Not easy but hey, there's different ways on dealing with different types of people. She might be one of those who makes borrowing money a habit or may be just an innocent victim. Because unfortunately, a LOT of people still fall for that kind of scam.


Hopefully she would come to her senses and, depending on the outcome of your talk, you can decide whether you want to keep her or not.

Yes, she has been scammed. Happened to a friend of mine in NZ. Amercian works for the Army, they come up with all sorts reasons why, due for a bonus, usually in the tens of thousand, but need to pay them thousand dollars, so they can get the money.....brought ticket to visit, lost ticket short of say another thousand....oh the list goes on....., if you don't pay them any money, they say you don't love me, you never loved, I promised to marry you, don't you want to get married anymore....blah, blah, blah. Just don't lend her any money, and leave articles around about these Internet dating scams.