Posted by
Yogini
20 yrs ago
I have a domestic helper and she will take care of my newborn baby when I go back to work. I don't really feel comfortable that she kisses the baby since she is not a family member. Am I wrong or how do you handle this?
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Life
20 yrs ago
You don't like her kissing your baby because you are her mother and she is taking away affection that you would rather be the one experiencing, or because you think she can make your baby sick?
That is pretty tough as you would want a helper that will be loving an affectionate with your child, instead of one that will ignore the baby. Your baby will always know that you are the mother, no matter how many hugs and kisses ANYONE gives your baby, your baby will always run to you.. (assuming of course that when you return home from work you are not too tired to bestow your child with love and affection).
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Yogini, I am same as you. I didnt like my previous helper kissing my daughter so Ijust told her directly (of course in a nice way)not to. Sometimes helpers want to show to their employers how much they love their children so they kiss them. Besides kissing, I m sure there are lots other way to show her love to the baby. I think you should tell her not to if you are not comfortable with it. Dont let your feelings stay inside you because that will explode one day.
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I think you need to follow your instinc, just tell her what you like and dislike. For me, a mother of two, my youngest is 7 months. My helper kisses her everyday, my toddler loves the helper too. He kisses her too sometimes. It was fine with me and my husband, honestly we never discuss this as it has never been an issue. I think it is just a symbol of love. As our helper is also a human being with heart, if she loves your kids, especially a baby, one way to show it is through kisses.And I am fine with it, we kiss our children crazyly, they are so adorable. And I am sure my helper has the same thinking as well.By the way, I think the DH agency also had reminded them about this issue as well. When you told them your preference, I am sure they will understand, but you know...it's so hard to resist........they are just so cute....lol...
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my maid always kisses my daughter on the cheek- they also hug a lot. As long as she doesn't kiss her on her lips I'm just fine with it- she actually hesitated in the beginning as my daughter initiated the kissing......so just talk to your maid.........I personally think it's important for the kids to feel the same warmth & love from the maid as well- incl. kisses & hugs.......
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My helper kisses my baby on the cheek too. I don't mind but if you do, you should speak up.
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Yogini- She/he is your baby and you are her mother. If you are not happy with the situation then just tell her. As mighty said "in a nice manner". My helper kind off kisses the children. I don't know whether it is a sniff of something but it is almost a kiss!!! Its hard to explain. Any way I am comfortable with it though but she doesn't do it to my two older children. I have a baby that has just turned one (ooohhh she is so beautiful) and all I want to do is kiss her all day, I am like that with my friends babies. Its just second nature to a mum to want to be affectionate.
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for us; cheek to cheek is ok.
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