Second helper

Hi All, I have a wonderful helper. She is still on her first contract and we both are going to happily renew it. She was great through my first pregnancy, as the baby was born- she has truly turned out to be a gem. Now, we are expecting our second and she asked me if I plan on keeping a second helper. It is definitely on the cards as good she is, she already has her hands full. We also have a dog who needs to be walked.


She then asked me if I would consider hiring her daughter. The daughter is young,22; has no experience as a FDH, or handling a dog or toddler. The fact that our helper has a good head on her shoulders is why we are even considering this scenario, but I am really afraid of somehow ruining a good thing.


I would very much appreciate if people can help me think through this decision. TIA!

As you have already figured out, it's a tricky thing. Her daughter may be a great fit. Certainly they are used to living together. Or it may be terrible. However I would guess the former is more likely. It is better to go with someone that #1 actually wants to work with.


A couple of points:

- Make it clear who is in charge.

- Make it clear that you will not get involved in disputes unless they affect the work.

- Aks #1 if she foresees any issues.


In the end, any second helper is a risk. Nothing to be done about that.

Agree: any second helper is a risk, whether she is a relative or not.


I have hired 2 sisters before (the elder one first, 2 years later, the younger one). The elder one was good, honest and hardworking but the younger one was not quite as good.


Personally I am a bit concerned on the age of your helper's daughter. 22 is a bit young. My current helper is in her mid twenties and I still think she is not mature. Also the fact that she has not worked as a FDH, she needs a lot of traning, both on the technical side such as housework, cooking and on the mentality side. Some first time FDH in HK have this 'pride' in them, they do not like to be helpers and being told what to do, but they seem to have no choice due to family and financial situations back home. Anyway that's just my personal opinion.


Can you interview her daughter first?

My helper got a job for her daughter with the people who live next door to us, it has caused all sorts of problems for them and for us, and we are both regretting having relatives employed next door to each other.

Great food for thought!

I agree that second helper is a tricky no matter what. Its the combination of relationship, age, lack of experience and now attitude that worries me. It is exhausting to have someone in your home 24/7 you get annoyed with. I don't want it to be exhausting for my current helper to have to cover up for her daughter's negligence or bad behaviour or immaturity, if any. But the age and inexperience leads me to believe there will be some of that in any case.


@ Sorchului, I am at a complete loss of what to interview her about. I have a whole list of questions but it mostly applies to people with experience. She is doing her nursing course currently, but does not want to study anymore. She herself told my helper that she wants to come and work here. They are ok money wise, my helper's husband is also an earning member. @ Susie1, what kind of issues you are running into besides comparing the two probably very different households. @ axpatguy, dadda- you guys are right, I need her to be involved in the decision making and we need to help her arrive at her decision as objectively as is possible for a mother.

788: Though you have heard some not so positive comments about the seond helper / your helper's daughter, in order to be fair and to give your helper face (if you wish to), you can interview her daughter. You can ask her some questions like 'Why don't you want to study and work in HK instead?', 'Do you know how to cook?' or just simply ask her to describe herself. I think it's quite important to know about the person you interview or hire. Also, since she has studied a nursing course, ask her what does she know about taking care of new born baby / first aid / CPR etc...

I remember seeing a thread under this Helper Advice Forum on 'Helper Interview Questions'. Perhaps you can have a look and see what questions are appropiate.