Related or not?

Hello all. We currently have 2 DHs. The 1st has been with us for 4 years (since my first was born) and we are very happy with her. As I recently had my second, we employed the 1st DH’s niece and she has been with us for 6 months now. She is young and inexperience (much training required) but she is hard working. And coz both DHs are related, I never had any DH problems (which is what I prefer coz with a full time job and 2 kids, the last thing I want is to have to sort out DH problems). Unfortunately, for health reasons the 2nd DH had to leave us to return to the Philippines next month. As I work full time, I will need to get a replacement ASAP.


Question is (i) do I hire another relative of the 1st DH – she offered her cousin who is also young and inexperience (so will need to train her all over again) and who is currently in the Philippines (so will need another 2 months to process) or (ii) get one (unrelated but recommended by friend’s DH) who is finishing contract soon? My rationale for getting 1st DH’s niece in the first place is that I believe if they are related, they work better together and they cover for each other (the 1st will train the 2nd, they sort out their own routine etc). So far, this has been proven to be true with my existing 2DHs. So, I am afraid if I get a new DH in, I may encounter problems.


Any advice or experience to share?

I think it pretty much depends on your 1st helper's feelings. If she is really strong about getting her relative to work with her, it wld be better to match that. If she is not so strong about it, then getting a more experienced one is better, i think. As long as they are both filipinos, they shld hv no problem in getting on with each other, i m sure.

Thank you all for your replies. Before I hired DH2, I made sure DH1 is aware of what having a relative will involve, i.e. if she gets one who is lazy or cannot be trained, DH1 will need to do everything herself, etc. And like I said, DH1 is very good with my kids and very responsible, so I have no problem with her not doing the work and so far, they work well together......


And as for what I need.....I need peace of mind....knowing that my kids and home are well taken care of. And I don't think that can be done wihtout a happy DH.


And FYI, DH2 is actually having a genuine health problem which she need to return.....

My helper had mentioned to me once before when we were discussing this topic that she thought it was important that the second helper came from the same area or "place" as she calls it as the first. Apparently there can be quite a bit of rivalry from people from diffent areas of the Philipines. I have no acutal experience of this but it may be something to consider. The definition of relative is also pretty relaxed so it seems if you get someone from the same area they are probably loosely related in some way anyway. :)

ness - good point. I will check.