Help with baby in night

Hi all,


Wondering what the scoop is on having your FDH sleeping in the babies room and basically doing the nightshift. Feeding, changing etc from say 9pm - 8am.


In the day I would like her to take a rest then some light cleaning and to cook dinner.


Is that managable?


I am looking into the night nannies from Annerly and the like but they are more than 20,000 HKD per month which is just out of the budget.


Or are there local chinese nannies that can come and help?


Thank you for your advice!

I don't see a problem as long as:

- You have discussed this with her before employment, or at least get her agreement if this is a major schedule change.

- You compensate by keeping the day free or very light as you seem to be doing.

YOu better discuss with her first.Helpers now are very smart, they wont just agree to do such things if its not written in their contract..she is going to be hard on you if you wont discuss to her first..ig if you let her work night shift 9pm-8am then some work in day time as well then, how can she get rest then are you at home to take care of your little one while she is sleeping? i am sure she is not going to be happy if you ask her to do that.

We hired our helper just before our first baby was due and we told her that this would be expected of her even though we never really expected to have her do it. We have never asked her to do this as I was BF'ing so it didn't make sense and the baby slept through by 12 weeks so no need for a bottle in the middle of the night once I went back to work. BUT if the middle of the night feeds had continued once I was back at work then we may have asked her to do say 2 night feeds a week so that it was shared between me, my husband and her. Agree that unless you told her that it was expected of her when you hired her then you should be ASKING her rather than telling her that she has to do it. And maybe think about sharing the responsibility between the three of you.

Communication is the key as always. You may ask if she is agreeable to work nights, which would automatically mean that during the day, she is expected to rest and sleep. Make a schedule, like say her work night would start at 8pm and end at 8am, and let her know the tasks that you want her to do aside from taking care of the baby like prepare dinner, clearing up after etc.. And make it clear that since she is to sleep during the day, she should be awake during her work time just like any other employee doing the graveyard shift. A minimal additional compensation would be fair

Another idea might be for you to do the night shift yourself and ask the helper to help you with looking after the baby during the day so you can take a nap ... I think it is too much to ask someone to have disturbed nights and then do even light work during the day - it is different when you are the parent as you have made the choice to have a baby and we all know that sleep disruption comes with baby arrival.

My FDW offered to help when the baby arrived but we said no thanks, as we wanted to look after her. As NZLawyergirl says it is only for a couple of months anyway.

I have been taking care of a boy since he was born, now he is almost 4 yo and still a bad sleeper, who's constantly awakening at night. My employer and I had a pre-agreement that I would taking night shift provided that they will compensate it with afternoon sleep. It was good at first because they hired a partime helper to do the house cleaning and I was just in charge of cooking and food shopping, and cleaning up after dinner. For 2 years it was smooth sailing for all of us but after the new contract was processed everything change except for the boy still being a bad sleeper. I now do everything on my own, with the 3000 sq ft house and almost 24 hrs on duty to take care of the boy, I talked to them about this but they seemed to be stiff and unconcerned to my ordeal. Now I am finishing the second contract soon, although I love the little boy so much, I will be leaving them to work for another family. If I still stay with them even just for another month, I think my body, my health would give up. I am sharing this to let employers who would ask their helpers to take night shift know that to be considerate of their helpers' limitatations and be concerned of their health is the key to their performing well and a way to keep a harmonious and a happy employer-emplyee relationship. I am so sad to leave the boy behind but working for this I consider UNREASONABLE employers would bring me to death. By the way, I am only receiving a minimum salary and a food allowance of 300 dollars.

Evagie, i totally agree with you. However; have had bad luck with my last helper who steals and has serious hygiene problems. She never was asked to do night shift, I do it all. She did not have to cook, no food shopping and I look after my kids 90% most times. Yet, she complaint she had too much work. We live in a 1,000 sf apartment.


I wish you best of luck with your new job. Glad to hear from a good and sensible helper!!

Thanks star tropper. I hope you could find a better one in the future.