The Motherless Generation

It's almost time for dinner in little Italy. A man walks along the street in shorts, dangling a cigarette from one hand, pushing a stroller with the other. Kids mill around a basketball hoop missing its net. Men chat on a porch nearby. Twenty years ago, people from Mabini, a small city in the central Philippines, started to leave for Italy to find better-paying jobs. Today, some 70% of the neighborhood is supported by monthly checks from Rome or Milan. Now, Italian-inspired villas crowd the town's hilly streets. There are flat-screen TVs, luxury cars and pricey Toblerone chocolates. But, as Florian De Jesus, a social worker in the area, observes, "In Italy, there are more women."


In recent years, the Philippines has faced an unprecedented exodus. Though millions of men have come and gone to work overseas over the past century, the world's ever-increasing demand for "female labor" like caregiving and domestic service has swung open the exit door for the nation's women. Today, about 8.7 million Filipinos — some 10% of the population — are registered with the government as overseas workers. Thousands of workers leave the country every day, and half of the new hires are women, flying off to earn salaries that are propping up the country. Last year alone, overseas workers sent home $17 billion in cash remittances, according to the World Bank. "Without the remittances, our economy will instantly collapse," says Dr. Honey Carandang, a clinical psychologist and professor at the University of the Philippines. "The whole country knows it."


What people don't know is what the Philippines will look like when the millions of children these workers are leaving behind grow up. A UNICEF-commissioned study estimates that roughly one in four kids — about 9 million children nationwide — have at least one parent working abroad. More and more, that means a mother living halfway around the world for 10 or 15 years at a time. The government rightly applauds "Overseas Filipino Workers," or OFWs as they are commonly called in the country, as heroes for the sacrifices they make for their families. But while children whose mothers are nurses in Canada or housekeepers in Hong Kong often go to good private schools and have MP3 players, there is a growing sentiment that trading global dollars for a generation raised on cell-phone minutes is a raw deal. Carandang, who works with families of migrant workers, named her most recent book after one boy's lament for his mother working as a caregiver in the Middle East: "The light of the home is gone."


Mabini, a city of 41,000 overlooking the clear waters of Batangas Bay, used to be a busy farm town, where loaded trucks left twice a week carrying fruit to Manila. Today, nobody is making a living off the land. The local markets' produce comes from somewhere else, and the cost of living is inflated by residents' foreign salaries, which are easily 10 times local wages. In Little Italy, many workers have built sprawling, European-style homes — some complete with sweeping marble terraces, faux stone façades and fountains — years before they plan to return to the Philippines. The houses sit empty, waiting for the day that their owners have put their last child through school and amassed enough health insurance, life insurance and retirement money that they feel they can return home.


Many parents go abroad hoping to finance a better future for their children. The country's public schools are overcrowded and underfunded, and that's not likely to change anytime soon. The Philippines' young population — over 35% of the nation is 14 or younger — is on track to double between 2000 and 2030, sending tens of millions more into the workforce. With some 30% of the population stuck in poverty and 7.4% without jobs despite the nation's steady economic growth, Filipinos see few opportunities at home. Isabel Pedrosa, who lives in a village near Mabini and whose 20-year-old son has been immobile since birth with severe cerebral palsy, says her family's state health insurance covers some bills but not all of them. Her husband is a construction worker in Qatar. "If not," she says, "we wouldn't be eating three times a day."


The notion that being able to feed your family means leaving the Philippines is a message kids are quick to internalize. Kay C Mendoza, who never knew her father and whose mother has been working overseas since she was five, lives in Mabini with her siblings. Her aunt lives nearby and checks in on them daily. She has a typical 13-year-old's concerns about gossip and boyfriends. But Mendoza is also already planning her career overseas. "I'm going to work hard so my mother can come home," Mendoza says.


Ending this cycle of emigration won't be easy. Aileen Constantino-Peñas, who works for the NGO Atikha, says part of the problem is that most children of migrant workers "do not have the slightest idea of the difficult situations their parents face." More and more women are leaving to work in private homes as domestic helpers, a job that can mean putting up with long hours and cramped living quarters — and, all too often, abusive employers. But few of the grim details get shared in the regular phone calls parents make home to their kids. Through workshops like "Scrubbing Toilets is Never Fun," Atikha tries to urge kids like Mendoza to reconsider following in their parents' difficult footsteps.


Not every woman has made the heartbreaking choice to leave Mabini. Shyrelyn Esguerra Diaz — "Baby" to her friends — still lives in Little Italy with her 5-year-old son Magnus in a comfortable home with high ceilings and a grassy yard out front. Sitting on the couch next to his mom, Magnus lets out a wheeze of concentration, his chubby thumbs flying on a video game, while Diaz wonders aloud whether she should move to Rome, where she can earn more money and join her husband who already works there. When Magnus first overheard her saying that her work permit had been approved, he asked, "If you leave, who will I eat ice cream with on the lawn?" The innocent question haunts her. "Simple, but ..." She finishes the sentence by miming a knife jabbing into her chest.


http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1858730,00.html

I know this is a controversial issue, however I believe that if you cannot look after your children you have no right giving birth in the first place.

I think it is wrong for women from the Philippines to come to HK to work to support their families. If they cannot be there to supervise them why have them? They are virtually orphans as the article says. How many glue sniffing vagrants do they need in the Philippines? I have read other articles about this problem which has largely arisen due to lack of supervision.

If the only way a family can afford to feed children is to work overseas again they have no right to have children. They are merely being selfish. Of course most people want to have children but it is just cruelty bringing a child into a world of poverty and neglect.

My husband and I thought carefully about how many children we could afford to feed and educate and house in the manner we were accustomed to, and decided to have one less child than we would have really liked to have. Why can't Filippino people think like that?

I know the government is anti contraception but again that is a joke. The country is full of corruption, including the govt so why do they try to use religion on this one point which could actually make a difference. Maybe in the eyes of the church contraception is wrong but surely corruption and lies are too?

Much of the economic problems in the Philippines are due to the excessive population which is growing at an out of control rate. The govt is having to subsidise the cost of rice because people can't afford to feed their families of ten! - So why are they having so many children!!! Thailand has managed to control its population growth and the economy is now much improved.

I feel quite annoyed with helpers in HK when they complain about the govt/ the levy etc. Why don't they complain to their own govt for its total lack of management? Why don't they complain to their parents for giving birth to them knowing they are going to face a really tough miserable life?

My helper is always speaking badly about the Chinese and complaining about the govt taking the money helpers deserve when really they should be grateful for the opportunity that the HK govt gives them and the legal framework that is in place to support them.

Just to clarify, I am not saying I think it is wrong for women to work overseas to improve their lives when the opportunity exists, I am saying I think it is wrong for them to have children when working overseas.

I respectfully and completely disagree with your opinion Hat Trick.

Who is the judge of how another can shape their life with family and support?

The Phillipines is basically a Catholic country that teaches specifics on birth control, the gov does not allow divorce. Can you call a religion a joke?

There are many women whose husbands have left them with a child to raise by themselves, the husband is not forced to support that child and has moved on to another woman. She married in good faith not thinking about going abroad to work.

How do you expect her to have a future for that child?

If your husband left you and your child, how would you support yourself?

Who will care for your child when you go to work?

What would you do if he did not give you ANY money for your child?

What if your child/mother/father/family member needed some sort of surgery to repair a heart problem and it costs many thousands of dollars? You have a college degree, and yet your economy pays a fraction of what you need for the surgery or medicine.

The HK behaved very badly when they took away the salary of the DH and paid it toward the training of local DH so there would be more of a chance to hire locals rather than overseas DH. Has is made any difference in the past years having these local DH? Most people still wnat someone full time (12-15 hours a day) to care for their children.

This problem is not a one sided affair, look toward our own cultural need to work long hours, many DH's become a surrogate like parent, what does this say about HK?

Hat trick....If someone makes a very difficult decision of leaving their child in their family care so that his/ her family can have a decent quality of life...good on them!

They do not throw their kids on the streets neither do they disown them, their kids are looked after by grandparents, aunts/uncles, etc......who would do their very best for the kids. The kids are happy & well cared for.

Here in HK, we have kids because we want them, both parents work ( in many households) to give their kids a good life. Unfortunately we do not have all our family members with us except for the locals, we do not have creches & day cares like many countries, so we have a DH who will fulfill our needs to look after our kids.

No one has the right to decide if we all should have kids or not. If you decide not to have kids, I respect your decision...however do not be narrow minded about every one else!

Hat Trick, please dont make your judgement unto this ladies you are not in thier situation therefore you dont have the right to judge anyone.Why did you hired a helper when you are capable enough to take care of your children?

A couple of comments...


First off, the article was not initiated by whinging expat helpers - it was simply a journalist's observations and interviews... so I am not clear why there is a need to attack the helpers.


I am sure everyone runs into expats from all walks of life who complain about being away from their families and about their environment...


There was also no mention of how many children anyone was leaving behind so I am not sure where that rant is coming from...


Please let's not make generalizations about people.

I read the article but held off commenting yesterday as a few comments, now deleted, made my blood boil. Especially a comment about "servants". But that tells me al I need to know about some people.


Our own DH was married, and actually still is. She has three boys the eldest around 15 now I believe. After the 3rd child her husband ran off with her cousin leaving her to bring up 3 kids on her own. She struggled and eventually made the decision to seek work outside of the PH to secure the upbringing of her kids. Her boys are cared for by her sister and mother. I know she really finds it hard sometimes but economically her choices are limited. So she lives away and sees them for a couple of week each year.


Now that is reality, not the "they shouldn't have kids" mentality. There are 10's of thousand of people in the same situation in the PH. They didn't set out to live that life, it just turned out that way. The majority of us here grew up in privileged circumstances compared to others elsewhere in the world. Even if we were poor in our own countries we still had a great life compared with a majority of the worlds population. So, who are we to make judgments on a people and culture that is so different to what we once knew?


Actually the article was a great find. It certainly highlights the sacrifices people really have to make to be able to make a decent living.

Well said evildeeds.

Hat Trick, my husband is an absent father. He has two factories that he's in charge of in China. I have said the same to him, "You are selfish. If you're going to be married to your work, you shouldn't have a wife or a kid". First he could come back 3 times a week and now less than that because of his second newly built factory.


As for me, I gave up a high profile career to work for my husband's family business who's paying me peanuts because I enjoy the flexibility of my work hours. I take my daughter to the bus stop before I go to work, I greet her when she comes home, have lunch with her before running to work again. When I come home at 6pm, I refuse to let my helper attend to her. The maximum time my helper has her alone is about 3 hours? (an extra hour a day is with granny).


However, I respect the filipinos who have to leave their families behind in order to provide their children with better lives. I don't care what race you are, but for a mother (any mother) to leave her children behind is painful. A mother would give her own life for her children. Les Miserables, a musical about Vietnam....., you can see how women give up their children to the soldiers who fathered them in order for the children to have a better life than what their mothers could provide. Same as the filipinos. They work overseas and they accept that they won't be close to the children for the sake of their children's future. If this is not love, I don't know what is.


We are lucky that we don't have to endure half of what they have to.

good point about absent fathers, May C. But i though Les Miserables (Victor Hugo book and then musical) is set in France?

Oops, so sorry, I meant Miss Saigon - the musical. I wasn't thinking straight, haha!

ah! ha,ha funny! of course it is!!