Posted by
tjc2400
15 yrs ago
help, some advice needed. we are relatively new to hk and our helper has asked if she can have two of her grown children stay in our apartment while we are away at christmas. It is for a week (to our knowledge - although we'll be gone for 3). Each of the individual rooms have locks on them so we could lock rooms that we don't want them to use.
so far we have granted all other requests that she has asked of us, without us asking for much else in return.
appreciate help from some experienced expat hong kongers.
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If you have known her long enough to implicitly trust her, then maybe, but you should take notice of other threads on this forum, about what they could get up to. I don't know how long you have had your DH for, but we have had ours only 9 months, and she still tries to push us a little far sometimes, plus she is also dishonest occasionally.
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It's not at all unusual. As Susie1 says it depends on trust. We would have no problem if our helper asked for that. It depends how you feel about your helper. If she hasn't worked for you too long, say you're still finalizing plans for Christmas and that you'll let her know.
Locking individual rooms: This is hardly a hindrance if the person is determined. I'm not saying don't lock them, but it is more of an indication than an actual barrier.
"we have had ours only 9 months, and she still tries to push us a little far sometimes, plus she is also dishonest occasionally."
Sounds like it is time to have a serious talk with her about this. If she doesn't change after feedback you should probably get another helper.
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Hi,
I would not accept this for sure. She's your domestic helper, not your friend. If her family wants to come over, they should stay in a boarding house but not at your place.
Also, I tend to believe, after many years in HK, that the more you give to DH, the less you get....
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That's taking advantage of your family and situation (that you are away).... but it's entirely your choice.
I personally wouldn't. Who would you blame if ANY damage was done, or any theft occurs?
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You would blame the helper of course. If she wants the privilege she must act responsibly about it.
"Also, I tend to believe, after many years in HK, that the more you give to DH, the less you get...."
I feel the exact opposite.
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"I wouldn't do it. Where will they sleep - in your bed!?!"
Not a problem for us. That's what washing sheets is for. In fact when we were away for a long weekend and our helper was taking care of the kids 24/7, we told her to use our bed so she would be closer to them and not have to run the whole way if they woke up in the middle of the night.
"Not much point in paying her to be here, sleep in your bed, use your electricity etc."
I fail to see the problem. It's downtime which our helper richly deserves. Also our electricity costs less than a trip home if one wants to be nitpicky about it.
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KennyL, I think you are exaggerating more than a little. That sort of behavior is hardly common.
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KennyL, while such things regrettably do occur they are quite rare. In my opinion the fact that it can happen is not a reason not to allow helpers to have friends over. If she wanted to just use the employers' bed for sex why would she even ask?
Also, a helper that is otherwise "completely trustworthy" who then does this sort of thing? Few people are that duplicitous. There are almost always other signs. Many employers don't take the time to get to know their helper and so cannot really judge if she is trustworthy or not. Proper communication, knowing your helper, is key.
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Of course I would feel betrayed. I'm just saying that your average helper would never do anything like that. It is unfair to treat all helpers with mistrust because a small minority behave badly.
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The John was guilty of trespassing or the equivalent at the very least. The woman, if she was paid, was guilty of prostitution. While prostitution is not illegal in HK, it is strictly regulated with regards to how it is carried out.
So yes, there should be room for deportation. However, perhaps KennyL's friend found it simpler to pay the money and not have to go through a lengthy and possibly quite public process.
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