Posted by
nygirl
18 yrs ago
I am feeling guilty over wanting to fire our helper who has been with us for two months. There are no huge issues but I feel like every week there is a new issue. The things that concern me are lack of trust as well as being incredibly slow. Although she is sweet and obliging I feel that she is too immature. Some examples are: One day she fell asleep while our two year old was asleep on the couch, let someone in our house while we were away for the weekend. Also she constantly does things like recently we were away and she decided by herself to work on her statutory holiday so she could have a day in lieu (which happened to be a Friday). Other things include sleeping in a few times, not taking a stroller on a whole day's outing (after asking her specifically to do so). I realise this sounds all quite petty but I have a feeling she does not really respect me. Everytime she does something wrong I tell her very nicely that that is not what I expected and don't ever do it again. She usually sheds a few tears and promises not to do it again and so far so good but then something new will happen and I am left feeling constantly disappointed. Please advise me what you would do in a similar situation.
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same as me my is almos 1y but sme time she do such a wrong thing if i say some thing she say sorry or she give back me aswer ya i clean and do but when i tell and i prove her she is wrong she start crying and talking on phone with her sister she is not good in eng even if u said nice in eng she is not able to understand last 1 y im teaching her every thing but still i cant trust her i dont know she manage or not i tell her sister if u cal me every time to ask me why i said this or that then batter u take her and give me one month notice
i dont know wht to do
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Wow, You must be very patient to last a whole year feeling like this. Personally I think one year is enough to know if it is not working out. Only you can decide and you have to weigh it up. Is she great with housekeeping and bad with children e.t.c I know that helpers are like all of us and are good at somethings and not others but if the bad outweighs the good and there is not much improvement after one year I know what I would be doing. Having said all that it is still a tough thing to do (firing someone).
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jele
18 yrs ago
Hello,
Two months is short, but was enough for us to be fed up with our last helper.
One day, after many and many problem I said to my husband "do you want to keep on like that during months and months?", we both answered NO.
Do you cry each time your boss told you that you were wrong?
Will your boss hesitate to fire you during the first months because you are not the good one?
Most of people forget that your are the employer and the helper is the employee.
Due to my past experience (with 1st helper) I will never forget this anymore. She is not my friend, not a family member.
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same thing with me though it took me 1 year to terminate her because i always give a chance but last month im fed up because i dont feel that my son is safe with her anymore.she doesnt want to be told when she committed mistakes like contaminating my son's old powdered milk to new one.when my son bumped his head she didnt bother to tell me.i just knew it when my son complained he had a boboo on his head.i was mad at her she had always excuses like she forgot or she didnt know.oh my this kind of person should not work with kids.
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Summer....ditto. Disturbingly familiar situation with our first helper. My small one was AWAKE when I found DH asleep - bub was 13 months, crawling, ALWAYS putting things in her mouth - and .....we lived on a boat and little miss was an expert at crawling up stairs to the deck (always locked and bolted by all members of the family EXCEPT THE DH). Oh...sorry, she was "just closing her eyes". Knowing what I know now, would have sacked her on the spot. I lost the ability to sleep when my bub was up and in the care of others and God knows I soooooo needed the sleep as little miss was such an appalling sleeper. Daughter now 4 and I still cant do it. I got such a deep seated fear about it at the time that it has stuck. Your DH is employed in a huge postition of trust. Man, if she cant look after your child, and clearly she cant be trusted too, get rid of her and employ one of the sweet ones out that that really do put the child first. All the best.
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georgie10 i posted before hiring a helper. i just saw her profile here in asiaxpat.i was shocked that she stated that she worked with a chinese family.that she loves taking care of children.we are not chinese anyway.why would she lie bout it?this only shows that you really cant trust a helper who is a liar.i posted it because i dont want employers who have kids to hire a helper whom you cant trust.
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georgie10 i posted before hiring a helper. i just saw her profile here in asiaxpat.i was shocked that she stated that she worked with a chinese family.that she loves taking care of children.we are not chinese anyway.why would she lie bout it?this only shows that you really cant trust a helper who is a liar.i posted it because i dont want employers who have kids to hire a helper whom you cant trust.
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I believe one of the major problems is that these women are desperate for a job so exaggerate their abilities (as I think lots of people do to get a job) and then can’t cope.
We all know how hard It is to care for kids and a home it must be much harder when the kids and home are not your own and you have to do everything someone else’s way. Personally I wouldn’t leave my kids with a DH although I know there are many excellent ones I would need a proper child care professional and am willing to pay the extra rather than expect a young women to cope with the responsibility of kids and the household chores etc too. We just do without in other areas.
At the end of the day though if your not happy then you need to find someone else
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