Help! DH needs major training



ORIGINAL POST
Posted by Chrispy06 18 yrs ago
I have just hired a Philippino DH and have found out that she needs major training! She worked in HK for a few months before she started with us and she worked in SG for 2 yrs 1o years ago (the story was she worked in SG for 2 yrs then went back to PH to get married, produced 5 kids in 10 years time and now working in HK to support them). In the interviews she seemed very smart and experienced, but it turned out that she is just like a maid straight from the Jungle! Never seen an oven or a dishwasher before, no idea how to use a microwave or what materials are microwave friendly or you need to break the egg york before heating it in the MC. She put all my facial tools such as tweezers and nail clippers in the essentail oil burner as she has no idea what an essential oil burner is. Doesn't know how to cook or to iron a shirt!! Not to mention we have very different hygiene standard!

My old part-time helper is going to spend 2 weekends with my new helper to train her but I am hoping I can send her out to do some courses. I understand YMCA offers some DH courses but does anyone know if there are any courses available in Discovery Bay? We live in DB so it'll be easier to send her to courses locally (as she doesn't know HK so I probably have to take her to YMCA myself); but if there isn't any then I guess Central will do. Any advice on DH training? I have already bought her the book Helper's Helper. I work full time and am 24 weeks pregnant so I really don't have much energy teaching her everything step by step.

Any good advice is much appreciated. Thanks!

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COMMENTS
inkonkoni 18 yrs ago
The only other courses I know of are in Sai Kung.

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dimac4 18 yrs ago
This is an ad from the dollarsaver...might be helopful to give them a call - I think your maid lied about her experience.


WANT a SUPER Helper? Your HELPER Trained in Just 10 Hours! Clean like a Pro, master the art of Table Setting, learn expert fabric care and the Secrets of an organised home and more... Call 9199 0880 to book now! Or visit www.superhelper.goldphoria.com , Cooking classes now also offered.

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geiboyi 18 yrs ago
I think you really need to take some time (I understand it is not easy in your situation) to train her yourself in certain things (as the way you want things doing is not always the way a course will teach them).


I would send her out to a hygiene course (Asia Medical Services does one - also they do first aid courses), also to the 'Superhelper'Course recommended above ($850 for two days, I think - no experience myself but it is run by a Filipina lady on the South Side of HK island). I would hold off on the cooking courses for now - the YMCA will teach her how to prepare a delicious Meditterranean buffet with Middle Eastern delicacies for dessert, but really you would do better showing her how to bake potatoes and cook pasta, and letting her focus on the other stuff.


You can't just give her the Helper book - I tried that with my helper. No way...

Can your helper read and understand English well? If so, it's relatively easy. Start a household manual for her, as follows:

Microwave:

1) Do not put the following into the microwave: metal dishes, whole eggs, etc...

2) Always stir food well when it comes out of the microwave as it may be hotter in the middle.

...


Dishwasher

1) Put dirty dishes into machine.

2) Do not put the following into the dishwasher: crystal glasses (show her), pans or knives with seperate handles (show her) etc...

3) Put detergent in the dispenser (show her)

4) Turn machine on (show her - if there is more than one setting choose the most common one and put a sticker on the machine to show her the setting to use)

5) Do not open the machine when it is on!

6) When it is finished, take everything out, dry if still wet, and put away.

...


That's the basic idea (although I should qualify what I just wrote by adding that I myself have no idea how to use a dishwasher...).


You need to set up a training schedule - what time do you get home? If you are home by 7, you need to say that every night from 7.15 to 8 (for example) will be training. Get in, get a glass of wine (I know you're pregnant, but it will help), get changed. Take one area each day, then at the end of the week do a revision session and get her to show you how to do things.


I work in a deluxe hotel, and our room attendants, for example, have a 3-month probation period during which time they are shown how to do everthing, they start off working with someone else, then they start cleaning one or two rooms by themselves, moving up to 10 rooms a day by the end of three months. You need to take a similar approach with a helper, same as for any employee, and this is more important as she will be taking care of your family, not paying guests.


I would also be very wary of having your part-time helper do the training for you, unless you are very very happy with the way she does things.


I have a new helper myself, and am about to go through the above process (again). Not looking forward to it - also full-time, also pregnant.


Good luck!

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Chrispy06 18 yrs ago
Many thanks girls! Esp. Geiboyi and DB Mum for so much information.

I've hired the helper myself with using an agency so I can't just send her back and get a free replacement. I really hope things will work out so I don't have to sack her and go through the whole searching and hiring process again (esp not with a baby due in 3 months!)

Does anyone know if the Super Helper courses (esp. the $850 one) are any good?

Many thanks!!!

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Burgundy 18 yrs ago
Just curious...



Were her (presumably good) references from expats or locals here?

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Chrispy06 18 yrs ago
Burgundy - sorry I meant I did not use an agengy to hire her - I got her information from this site. She did not provde any references as her first job in SG was 10 years ago and her 3 months expereince in HK did not end well (she was terminated by her previous employer). Anyway my huaband and I spoke to the pastor at her church and he spoke quite highly of her (tho now I am not quite sure if we should have asked for more references).

@_@

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Chrispy06 18 yrs ago
Jbebeb - so far she's been saying that she's willing to learn and of course I am not able to tell whether she's telling me the truth or not, only time will tell. So I am going to try my best to teach her myself plus sending her to courses, and if none of these help then I guess I will just have to fidn a new helper...@_@

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geiboyi 18 yrs ago
Is she nice? Do you enjoy her company? This is really the main thing. The things you are asking her to learn are not hard, but you both have to have the enthusiasm to go through with the long learning process. If you don't particularly like her then you're in trouble.

Try the courses - I think the relatively small outlay would be worth it, if only to give her an initial push, then you can add more stuff later.

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Chrispy06 18 yrs ago
Geiboyi - My helper seems nice, but so far I can't say I enjoy her company. She's just so ignorant that I find it difficult to communicate with her. I am thinking to give her 3 months and if she doesn't improve then I will have to sack her. But my worry is I am now 6 months pregnant and getting a new live-in helper when I am 9 months pregnant may be a bit stressful...@_@

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Chrispy06 18 yrs ago
Last night I came home and I couldn't find my folic acid,which I put in a small plastic medicine bag on the night stand next to my bed; so I asked my helper about it this morning. She told me she had no idea where the medicine was. I told her the medicine would not disappear by itself, and I asked her if she had moved anything in my room yesterday. Then she told me she did some vacumming and perhaps the vacumm sucked it in. I said to her that she would have noticed if she sucked in the whole bag of folic acid into the vacumm machine. She kept saying "I don't know I don't know" then disappeared to the kitchen. I then found her opening the vacumm machine and the dust bag, and 2 mins later she showed me the folic acid when she found in the dust bag!! God, how could she not know if she sucked in the whole bag of folic acid!! @_@

My husband also told me another issue. He showed the helper how to use the oven the other night. Apparently there was some detergent left over in the oven so smoke came out when the oven was heated up. Our helper panic right away and back away from the oven. So my husband asked her what she should do in this situation - she told my husband that she would pour water in the oven and leave the house!!!!!!!! My husband then very calmly explained to her that she should NOT pour water into the oven and defintely NOT to leave the house as the whole house may be burn down! Then he showed her how to shut the oven off. How can someone who claims herself having a few years DH expereince would come up an answer like that? I am now very worried...@_@

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pzam 18 yrs ago
I think its going to be a stressful time for you to train this particular helper as she can't seem to understand the concepts of modern machinery. At this point in your pregnancy, I think you'll be better off looking for an experienced (with confirmed refernces) helper now rather than when you're about to pop. I think you can already see that she's not right for the job you expect her to do.

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Burgundy 18 yrs ago
Chrispy,



It sounds as if you're living on the set of "Fawlty Towers". That might be entertaining for a while, but the novelty will doubtless wear off when you need help with your imminent babe.



As the lady believes that the best way to turn off the oven is by pouring water over it, maybe it's worth asking her what technique she will use to stop Chrispy Minimus crying. And do tell her not to use that folic acid consuming vacuum cleaner to clean the baby...

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Dandelion 18 yrs ago
With a baby on the way, the LAST thing you need is this helper!! I would get rid of her now and hire someone more experienced. You don't want someone that naive around a newborn....

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Chrispy06 18 yrs ago
But she seems like a nice person, just very naive. She has 5 young kids she needs to support and she is in debt. Should I give her like a month to improve? Or I should not be so sympathetic with her?

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Chrispy06 18 yrs ago
I guess you gals are right, I should really think about replacing her. U know, earlier this evening I was in the kitchen sorting out the fridge and my helper offered to help. So I passed her some old stuff in the fridge and asked her to throw them away. I placed the items I wanted her to trash on the counter top, and so happened there was a nice avocado nearby which I purposely kept out of the fride to let it grow soft; and my helper threw everything away including the avocado, without even checking if it was spoiled or fresh (and she took the gardbage out as well). I was about to use the avocado to make some salad and all the sudden it was gone, so I asked my helper if she had seen it, and she panic right away and said she threw it away. Since she was panicking so she ran to the trash can and tried to fish the avocado out (not able to remember that she had already taken out the garbage), then she realized the avaocado was no longer there. Tho the trash bin was quite empty but I knew I put some molded tomato in it and also the wrapping of the fresh tuna fish and scallop I bought for dinner. After my helper finsihed fishing in the trash can, she just stood there and apologized, and wanted to help with making dinner WITHOUT washing her hands! >_< I stopped her right away and asked her to wash her hands and pointed out the importance of having a high hygiene standard; she then talked back and said she took the garbage out already and the trash can was not dirty!! How can it be not dirty with molded tomato and wet fishy wraps?? I was so mad and I told her her hygiene standard is not acceptable and I cannot trust her to look after my baby at all!!!

I mean it's bad alraedy for her to not check things thru before throwing things away; but not washing her hands after fishing in a trash can and wanted to proceed with cooking is just not acceptable!!!!

She has only worked for us for 9 days...do I really need to get rid of her after just 9 days??

God I really don't need this esp. with a growing bump..I should not be stressed out!!

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geiboyi 18 yrs ago
Give her a month and tell her to improve. If you sack her now she will have to go back home for 3 months before reapplying for a visa here. Also you might end up with someone worse. Tell her to be very careful (the folic acid thing was silly, but the avocado thing seems an innocent mistake - lots of food to be chucked and she mixed it up - the hand washing you need to drum into her that basically she has to wash her hands constantly) - she may wake up a bit. If not, no choice.

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Chrispy06 18 yrs ago
DBMum - thanks, will check out the noticeboard at the Clubhouse. By the way, how do you check if the candidates are telling the truth about their current salary? I know I can call their current employer but how do I know the "employer" is a friend of the candidate who claims to be the employer? There was one time a interviewed a DH in DB and she claimed her salary is over $7800 - seems a bit high to me.

Thanks again.

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geiboyi 18 yrs ago
But do be careful about employer recommendations. People tend to feel responsible for helping their maid to get a new job, especially if they are leaving HK and their helper will be out of a job. They can sometimes stretch the truth a little with their references (or just leave out certain things). I speak from experience with my first helper - recommended by friends.


(I am also in the process of training a new maid who has many years of experience, and yet asked me the other day how to cook rice...)


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Burgundy 18 yrs ago
Chrispy,

Trust references from locals more than from expats. Most expats seem to feel responsible for helping their ex-DH, however hopeless she may be; maybe we're all knotted up with Judaeo-Christian guilt. Chinese tend to be more pragmatic.

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Chrispy06 18 yrs ago
DBMum, it will be great if you can let me know any good helpers looking for a job in DB, much much much appreciated. Many thanks!!!


(just learnt from my DH that she didn't know what scallop is and never has one before, it's going to take me sometime to find out what she really knows..)

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@@ 18 yrs ago
To check the salary why not ask for a copy of her contract to confirm previous employment.

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TC 18 yrs ago
@@,

In my experience the contract will usually only show the legal minimum even if employers decide to pay above that.

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@@ 18 yrs ago
TC

4 helpers and lots of interviews I have not experienced the minimum on the contracts (when coming from an expat family).


Not to say your experience is any less valid.

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zalca 18 yrs ago
my personal experience is that i write the minimum on the contract and pay above it. i just feel it protects me a bit/

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@@ 18 yrs ago
Protects you from what?

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zalca 18 yrs ago
it's a purely personal decision based on previous contracts with helpers. my helper is absoultely lovely, she works hard and gets paid a good salary. i previously had two helpers- husband and wife who totally took the piss. i was paying them 12,000 /month and coming home to a dirty house. plus stuff i'm not willing to write here. once bitten twice shy. keep the contract to the legal requirement and pay above according to performance. it's my choice and my helper is very happy with the situation. just paid for a trip back home for her. she is happy as hell.

good luck to you all- do what you choose to do !!

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whoever 18 yrs ago
zalca,

Just out of curiosity, what prompted you to pay your previous helpers almost twice the market rate?

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zalca 18 yrs ago
i have 3 children, a big house and i work full time.


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