Posted by
cc2006
18 yrs ago
My DH has been working with me for quite a while and she has been treated like one of my family memeber. We share the same food, she can do her laundry together with mine, I gave her gifts, clothes, toys for her daughther and $ when she need for urgency use.
Yet, I just found out that she took my branded bag home (philipine) without asking for my permission. She is still there for home leaves and I'm not sure whether I want her to come back and work for me.
I sent her SMS on my bag and she just send an apology message and I started to think back my previous $$$$ went missing whether is it stolen by her.
I am upset rather than angry as I felt I've been betrayed. Should I fire her? I'm hesitating as she has been wonderful helper to me and my family. Should I give her a chance? And how should I handle her from now?
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I feel for you because it's extremely upsetting to loose trust. However, if you are happy with her performance in general, you may give her a second chance. What I mean is that she might had taken your bag just to show off at home. Recently I discovered that my DH checks rubbish bags and keeps my old lipsticks and mascaras that you simply can not use any more because only the cases are left. However, they are by Christian Dior…
Having said that, don’t think that I am one of those DH defenders so often seen on this web site. In fact, I am going to terminate mine in one month. But I have a different reason: she is irresponsible when being left alone with my child.
Anyway, I just wonder what would she have done with your bag if you didn’t SMS her: keep or return quietly?
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mrsl
18 yrs ago
I can see where you're coming from, but I'd probably give her a second chance. At least give her a chance to explain herself in person. I might be corrected on this, but if you give her notice before she comes back (and you have to inform Immigration), she cannot return to HK to look for a new job.
If you are not happy with her explanation when she returns and are convinced that she has been stealing from you for a while, then at least she has 2 weeks in which to find a new job.
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july8
18 yrs ago
Dear cc,
I honestly think that is unacceptable that she takes your personal belongings like that,I personally won't excuse such behaviour....
Good luck!
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TC
18 yrs ago
In view of the fact that (a) you seem to be generally happy with your maid, and (b) it's hard to come by a good maid, I'd be laying down the law to her when she gets back and leaving it at that. She has to know that it was unacceptable to take your bag without your knowledge, but like a lot of different-culture episodes maybe she doesn't even look on the bag incident as stealing in the same way as you and I would. But within five minutes of her return there should be no reason for her not to be thinking the same way as you!
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You cant terminate the helper while shes on her holiday.However,you can just make a move when she come back,either terminate the contract or give her a chance.
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Dear all,
Thanks for all yr advise!
I've discussed with my hubby and we've decided to listen to her explantation when she is back in shanghai. (Previously, she worked with us in HK and when my hubby posted to shanghai, she follows us there). She has been with us for more than 2 years and proven to us that she is trustworthly, hardworking person and loves my kids.
Good helper is hard to get.
Anyway, thanks all!
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MayC
18 yrs ago
I think your present reaction is enough to tell her that this is unacceptable and she'll probably remember not to do it again next time.
I'd give her a chance too.
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cc2006
i understand your dilemma....the breach of trust is very disappointing and hurtful
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Put your family first.
Fire her. YOu can not trust her. You only busted her this time because you found out...just think of all the other things that you don't know about. Plenty of good domestic helpers around so no problem. If she worked in your company, you would not trust her, so why should you trust her in your house?
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Personally, if she did take the bag without asking for my permission, i will fire her. i know it sounds mean, but if i cannot trust a person, it's hard for her to work for me. i will constantly worried about what she is up to and i will even be so paranoid that each time i have something missing,i will straight away assume that it's her! i cannot live in such a situation, so i would fire her.
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Honestly, she has already said that she has been a wonderful helper - to fire her over a handbag? Priorities...
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She only found out about the handbag. What about all the other things she doesn't know....and also unhealthy to have the relationship continue with lots of suspicion
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