Posted by
fairybell
20 yrs ago
I was so upset yesterday, I am at the pool and my helper was helping me with my three children in the pool. I was asked if she was my helper and I said yes then the lifeguard told me to ask her to get out of the pool as they were not allowed in the pool. I was furious. I treat my helper with the respect that she deserves why does everyone else treat her differently. How on earth am I to take three children in the pool at the same time. One of them is a baby?? Sorry guys but I really needed to get this off my chest as I was absolutely mortified as it is discrimination. Its not like she is dirty or anything!!!
Please support our advertisers:
One associated with where we live...... I told my hubby and he was absolutely disgusted. Wanted to write a letter to the Management but as I said it will fall on deaf ears. Nobody will do anything. Next time they ask if she is my helper I am going to say "No" she is my sister and see what they have to say about it.
Please support our advertisers:
fairybell, pls do write a letter to complain because no complains there wont be any improvement. See how they answer. It might be purely discrimination OR you might hear something that you dont realize. Did you need to register with the club how many family members are there in your family? If yes, did you register your helper as well?
Please support our advertisers:
I can even call the management for you if you want me to and press them for a satisfactory reply. I am a local but I cant stand this, unless they give me a good reason.
Please support our advertisers:
Hey Mighty-I was extremely shocked. I am an Aussie and this type of treatment is just not accepted in Australia. I apologise to me helper because I feel that she should not have been embarrassed like that. She is a good person and did not deserve to be treated any differently. Yes my helper is allowed to come in with the family as most helpers do go to the pool. I never see the parents just the children and the helpers. Thanks for your advice, I am going to draft up a letter and ask them where it is written that no helpers are allowed in the pool as it should be displayed some where. Do you suggest any other action??
Thanks in advance
Please support our advertisers:
I know that I don't need a seperate membership for my helper as I have already asked them if the membership covers my helper and they said "Yes" as long as she is with one of the membership holders. So this is why I am so upset by the whole situation.
Please support our advertisers:
I can sympathise with you but some "club members" abuse the rules by leaving the helpers with the kids so they can go socialising.
We used to "invite" our helper to join in activities at the club but we were always present. On those ocassions, when asked, she was not our helper but our guest.
Please support our advertisers:
Good thinking I never thought of that. My hubby actually said that nect time they say is that your helper he said tell them that "no she is my sister"..... See what they have to say then.
Has any one else experienced this????
Please support our advertisers:
God forbid if something happened to one of the kids and she had to jump in!!
Wonder if you'd get in trouble then??
Same situation, the helpers are only allowed in our pool area, NOT in the pool.
Please support our advertisers:
There is a sign up (not very visible) at the pool to say that helpers are not allowed in the pool. It still annoys me though.
Please support our advertisers:
Please support our advertisers:
Runnergal-If you read my last comment it say "Has any one else experienced this" I am reasonably new in Hong Kong and wondered if it was a standard thing around H.K.
If you have nothing to add then don't say anything at all.
Just in case you were unaware capitals are considered rude. It implys that you are yelling.
Please support our advertisers:
swmbo
20 yrs ago
I asked at our complex and they said the same - helpers not allowed in the pool. I also think this is wrong. Our pool has lifeguards, but if you've got small kids who can't swim then you've got no option but to get in the pool with them.
Please support our advertisers:
Please support our advertisers:
Not the Ed- Sorry for having to ask this silly question but what is SCMP??
Please support our advertisers:
Gotcha, Sorry bit on the vague side today. Good point though. Thanks
Please support our advertisers:
Also noticed that the American Club has a sign that the helpers have a waiting area. On a bench outside, if you don't mind!! Disgusting !
Please support our advertisers:
Ed
20 yrs ago
Being a domestic helper in HK must do wonders for one's self-esteem...
Please support our advertisers:
We have never taken our helper with us as we mainly go on a Sunday but believe it or not there are heaps of people that do!!
I just don't think it's right that the helpers have to sit outside in the heat on a wooden bench.
Please support our advertisers:
TC and Ed- I do appreciate your comments. I have now been given the encouragement to actually do something. Initially I was just wanting to vent and get this off my chest but now, after several more responses I am going to write a letter.
Thanks for all your responses and if any one else has something else to share about their experiences......bring it on!!!
TC- I agree with you about the parents surely being able to look after their own children. I am not one of them. I must say it is a lot easier when I am on my own with a 7 year old, 4 year old monster and 11 month old babe around the pool, that extra pair of hands is great.
Please support our advertisers:
Sorry All, I must sound like such a b*itch, there is a water container for them next to the wooden bench!!!!!
Please support our advertisers:
Marypoppins- You kill me.... Maybe you could lend them your brolly as they will probably all pass out from heatstroke.
Please support our advertisers:
Mrs Miggins, the Cricket Club and the RHYC do not allow helpers either and they are VERY strict about this. However I have to say that we knew the rules when we joined these clubs and agreed to them. Our building complex does not allow them to use the pool either which I agree is unfair as I did not agree to that rule when I moved into my building. Although discrimination of any sort is quite unacceptable it it really too much for parents to take thier own childen swimming especially at private clubs surely you do not need your helper - I can manage very well and have you ever considered asking your helper if she feels comfortable swimming with your children, many do not.
Please support our advertisers:
According to my paperwork the helper is part of the family membership!! surely they could use it say from 8-9am and6-7 pm.??
Please support our advertisers:
Personally, I suspect it is the same reason that the Chinese families I know do not let their DH wash their own clothes with the family clothes (and sometimes not even in the machine at all - just by hand). Someone is clean enough to prepare your children's food, but not clean enough to share your washng/swimming water...
Please support our advertisers:
geiboyi- Well said. As Marypoppins said surely they can use the pool during the hours that it is not busy. But in my situation why can't I have my helper "help" me take one of my three young children in the pool!!! Any way I am on the job, will type up something next week and I will keep you all informed. Send me a message if any one has something to add!!!
Please support our advertisers:
Fairybell, you go girl!!!!
You can fly through my window any time and fix my problems!
Please support our advertisers:
Ran out of fairy dust can I borrow your umbrella!!!
Please support our advertisers:
Anytime Fairybell, anytime
Please support our advertisers:
I'm a member of the Football Club & have a 2 yr old a 5 mth old baby. Take my helper to the FC with me approx. 3 times a week if I'm taking them both down as it's not possible to breastfeed & stop a 2 yr old from drowning or falling off a ladder at the same time (or maybe I'm incompetent!). She's there as my guest and I certainly don't have her working her backside off whilst I do nothing-she's there to help me keep my kids safe and enjoy herself as well. FC does allow helpers in as guests but not to work and they are definitely allowed in the restaurants to eat. FC you can get helper passes which means that they can come in & supervise your children at classes but they don't have signing rights-I saw helpers o/side pool on Tues and I assumed that their employers hadn't sorted out the correct passes-if not then that's pretty appalling. If you aren't taking the mickey then helpers are allowed - how long that will last I'm not sure as there have been complaints recently about people taking the mickey - not having helpers sitting at the same table as them, not buying lunch for them or dumping the kids with the helper whilst they disappear to enjoy themselves at the w/e. Also no guests allowed at all at w/e's or public holidays which makes sense.
Please support our advertisers:
Hetfield if your helper is there to help you keep your kids safe then she is working and is not your guest. As such you are breaking the rules as they are not allowed to be there in the capacity of a helper but as a guest so are you not one of those who is taking the Mickey? Helper passes mean that they can supervise your children only when they are taking them to classes and if a class is not on then she has to be your guest and not working. A member there recently left her child with her helper in the playroom while she went to play squash and got a letter saying if it happened again diciplinary procedures would follow for breaking the rules and that usually means a ban. Surely it is unfair to take your helper into an environment where they clearly should be there as a guest and making them work - how uncomfortable would that make her feel? If you are taking your helper out as a guest why would you take your children with you - she would feel obliged to look after them and not sit with her feet up sipping a c*cktail. I would of thought a two year old and a small baby would be manageable without taking your helper and placing her in a situation that she maybe uncomfortable with.
Please support our advertisers:
@@
20 yrs ago
Some clubs in HK don't have great safety measures around swimming pools so it can be a great help to have an extra pair of hands (could be a friend, granny or helper). I don't take my helper with me but sometimes I do think how nice it would be if I could spend half an hour with my oldest child in the deep pool instead of always making him swim in the baby pool with my 18 month old.
On the issue of not allowing a helper in the pool in your building - what a disgrace. Good luck with your letter writing I hope you get some action.
Please support our advertisers:
Please support our advertisers:
Good point FOTH my husbands colleague and good friend is Filipino we thought we would ask her to be our guest at our club and see what reaction she would get!! She would be more than willing to test the system for us!
Please support our advertisers:
BellaB - strangely enough when my friends come with my to the FC and we use the facilities with my children they have to help me as well when I'm feeding or am holding my 5 month old as I can't jump in and out of the pool too quickly. I don't agree that a 2 year old and a 5 month old are manageable - do I pin down my 2 year old whilst I'm breastfeeding so I can make sure that she doesn't get into trouble whilst I'm not on hand? The kids pool at the FC often has older children jumping in and out and I don't consider that a safe environment to leave an active 2 year old on their own. I'm not an over-protective mum but it takes a short time for a child to be injured or drown because of lack of supervision. I guess the answer is that those of use with smaller children don't use the facilities with our children during the week but only at the w/e when our hubbies are around to give us an extra pair of hands. FYI: my helper loves coming to use the pool as she loves spending time with the girls and I certainly don't consider leaving your kids unsupervised whilst you go off and play a game of squash the same as having an extra pair of hands in the swimming pool. Do I consider myself to be taking the mickey - most certainly not.
Please support our advertisers:
powerpuffgirl- Would be interested in the outcome if you do take your friend in to the club as a guest. Let me know if you do!!
Hetfield-I agree that it is not easy or safe to have a 5 month old and 2 year old at the pool. I have three young ones myself and I take my helper purely as a safety issue. You know I once had my 5 yo and 2.5 yo in a pool whilst on holidays and my 5 yo wanted my attention, I turned to look at her and in that split second my 2 yo went under. Not a good situation, yes he is fine but it could have been really dangerous.
BellaB- I really appreciate all your comments.
I must say though, in my defence, that the most important reason that I have my helper at the pool is a safety issue. Why not let her cool off as well, she works hard enough. But at the end of the day I respect my helper as she does me so why not let her cool off whilst having fun with the children.
Please support our advertisers:
Hetfield, your friends helping you is not the same as your helper helping you. Many mothers have looked after a two year old and a newborn there before, I have and some have had twins in addition to a toddler and they have managed. It is hard work that is for sure and it leaves you little time if any to sit and relax and I would of been grateful for a hand at the time from my helper. Can you imagine how your helper would feel if one of the staff came up to you or her and told you she should not be there helping you, how would that make her feel? and what an awful position to put that member of staff in as well. The staff and other members are all aware that if you have your helper with you when you have your children with you she is not there as your guest but as your helper. As you suggested take one at a time if you can not manage by yourself that way you will not be taking the Mickey and would avoid placing your helper in any type of uncomfortable situation. Alternatively join a club that allows helpers to help you - the AMC allows helpers there at all times with no restrictions and they do not have to be with you they can go alone with your children.
Please support our advertisers:
Thanks guys for all your comments....
Please support our advertisers:
< Back to main category
You must be logged in to be able to reply.
Login now
Copy Link
Facebook
Gmail
Mail