Posted by
bendrix
18 yrs ago
I have just signed a contract for a live in DH but having just moved here and never had a DH before I really don't have a clue about what is expected as far as hours of work are concerned. Could anyone help me with the following :
1. What time should they start and finish ?
2. If my husband and I want to go out of a night is it ok to expect her to watch the children (do we need to pay her extra money for this ?)
3. Is it better to treat them as a friend or employee ?
I am a bit soft, and tend to be a bit of a pushover when it comes to telling people what to do, so any advice on how to approach my DH would be helpful, she seems very nice and friendly and I want to be fair and kind as I feel I live a very privileged lifestyle.
Please support our advertisers:
zalca
18 yrs ago
i think start and finish times depends entirely on your reasonable requirements. my helper gets up at 6am and goes to her room at around 7pm. it's an early start because my husband and i both work and have to set off very early. maybe your household would be different. however i really believe that these things are best discussed pre contract signing.
if i were you i would treat her as an employee. you can be a fair and kind employer :)
i don't pay extra for babysitting as it falls under her duties on her contract. that's just my choice though. everyone is different
good luck
Please support our advertisers:
Thanks zalca this gives me a bit of an idea that it is ok for her to be available when my kids wake up at 6.30am ! (they go to bed around 7.30) i really appreciate it.
Please support our advertisers:
cd
18 yrs ago
Yes many helpers do seem to work very long hours, but they're not on the go the whole time. I've found that the helpers we've had are pretty slow on things. My old helper used to iron for nearly 2 hours every afternoon, whereas I've been doing it myself for the last month and can do a weeks worth (7 people) in 3 hours,she'd take 1 1/2 - 2 hours to wash a car etc. My new helper took 3 hours to wash up after dinner the other day!
Saying that, I've just written a guideline for my new helper stating he should start at 7am, 30 mins for breakfast, 1 hour for lunch, 30 mins afternoon break, 1 hour for dinner, and finish after the washing up is done in the evening, normally around 7.30pm, unless we need him to watch the kids if we're going out( not very often that both of us are out).
Definately treat as an employee not a friend.
Please support our advertisers:
Start off with more rules than you think you will need. Once things start off badly it's hard to crack down.
Also tell her at the start not to make/receive personal phonecalls (except emergencies) while she's working. I'll now get some rants from people accusing me of infringing on a maid's human rights, but my boss does not excpect me to be making personal calls at work, and your helper should be the same. You will be very fed up when every time you try and call home the line is engaged. Trust me.
My helper works from 7am until she's cleared up all the mess she's managed to make in the day (she's quite good, but not terribly organised). Also, the point made earlier about how a 17-hour day can be explained by the marathon ironing sessions is a good one. My helper will take far longer over a simple job that I would - if she worked faster she would finish earlier. I think this can in part be explained by the HK working culture. My colleagues (all HK Chinese) work very, very slowly all day, as they feel that if they work quickly and leave at 5 it will look like they're not working hard enough. Sadly, the boss probably belives this too. I work quicker, take a much shorter lunch break and don't gossip all day long, and I leave at 5. So of course I'm the bad employee.
I think if people believe this, then this attitude will rub off onto maids. They perhaps feel that if they work quicker then there will just be more work for them to do (cleaning auntie's house/shop etc). Start off by explaning to your helper exactly what you (as her employer) are looking for.
Please support our advertisers:
Thanks everyone for your honesty, i think being honest with my helper is the key here and maintaining boundaries and rules, whilst being fair. I don't expect my helper to work crazy hours, just to get the things done i need to be done within a reasonable time, i am not looking for slave labour at all. But you are right, she is firstly an employee so I hope I can be a good employer.
Please support our advertisers:
In defence of simplewife, based only on her input above, I didn't read it that she was saying DHs having 7-8 hours off is acceptable; I took it that she was merely observing that some do only get this time off duty. I guess a lot can be read into the way things are worded.
Please support our advertisers:
Our helper used to get up at 7 to have her breakfast and takeover from me at around 7.30 when I went to work. I got home at around 6 and would takeover from her as soon as I got home (hubbie would takeover if he was home first). Our helper would get dinner and be finished by about 6.30-7.00 (we would reheat dinner & wash-up). She babysat for us around twice a week, we didn't pay extra for this but we did agree at the beginning of the week the days we would go out so she could organise her social life as well. Cleaning got done during nap time. I would never have asked her to get up during the night with either of our children no matter how tired I was.
I treated our helper as one of the family which for many is a no-no but it worked well for us. I felt that as she was looking after my children whilst I was at work I wanted to know her as a person and not just as my employee. This worked really well and when she did have a couple of family problems we were able to help her out and be a sympathetic ear. I knew all her friends and when we went away was happy for them to use our place at the w/e. We've left HK now and the saddest thing for us was saying goodbye to her but hopefully she will be over for Christmas which will be great.
I think as an employer you need to decide what's really important to you especially if you are working because you can't expect a house to be spotless if your helper is looking after your children during the day - infact I would be worried if it was! Decide what you want in a helper and a helper as a person - ours was in her 30's, single, had an active social life in HK and was good fun to have around. Other people wouldn't like this but it suited our family and when we announced to friends/colleagues we were leaving the only thing they wanted to know was when they could interview her!
Please support our advertisers:
I dont think it is unacceptable to let your helper sleep with the baby. that's why we employed them in the first place, to help look after the kids. it's not like the baby is awake the whole night. also, i have stressed to my helper that the baby comes first, and the tidiness of the house comes second or even third. it's okay for me that the house is not spotless, because i know it's not possible to look after the kids and do the housework as well. so, i guess it all depends on your expectations.
Please support our advertisers:
During the school year, my son gets up at 6am for school, so my helper starts early. When we have gone to work and my son at school, she basically has not too much to do, other than basic chores such as cleaning, laundry, ironing, and preparing dinner. She is a fast worker, so most of these chores are done before lunch. I know she takes a long break after lunch to read. I don't have any problems with her taking breaks as long as all required tasks for the day are completed.
By the time dinner is over and she finishes the cleaning up it would be almost 9pm. Sometimes when my husband works late, he gets home at 9pm and have a late dinner. Then she would sleep at about 10pm after washing up. What we had agreed was if hubby is not home by 9pm, she can just put the food in the fridge and he can reheat it when he gets in. This way she doesn't need to stay up past 10pm.
Sure it sounds like very long hours, but I would estimate her actual "working time" is about 10 hours each day. I feel it is quite reasonable.
Please support our advertisers:
barbara, not everyone is rich and has extra room for the helper. take me for example, there's only two room in the flat and it's either she share with the baby or she just sleep in the hall. i think there is right or wrong here but your insistance that it must be wrong is a bit annoying.
Please support our advertisers:
I presume from her comments all over this site that Barbara30 is being supported by someone else, doesn't work, doesn't need a helper, and therefore is in a position to make these sweeping judgements about other people. She possibly doesn't realize how fortunate she is, and from her ivory tower cannot understand that a lot of people have no other option than to employ a helper (and yes, I understand that we all make choices, but if I were to give up work and stay home to look after my son myself, we would starve. Literally.).
Please support our advertisers:
Ah, but we don't live in a democracy, do we...?
Please support our advertisers:
depends on what you mean by 'bringing up'. to me letting the kid sleep with the helper doesn't even come close to 'bringing up'. they do nothing but sleeping the whole night. when the parents are in the house, of course they try their best to spend as much time as possible with the kids. i dont expect the helper to teach my kid to read, help them with the homework or reading them stories because to me that's the parents' job.
Please support our advertisers:
You must be logged in to be able to reply.
Login now
Copy Link
Facebook
Gmail
Mail