Posted by
Chia Pet
16 yrs ago
So we never set a curfew for our helper. Sometimes she comes back around 9, or 10pm on sunday nights. I know that they're suppose to get 24 hours off, but I noticed last week she came home around 11:30pm. and today - or I should say monday morning, I called her around 12:30am, just to check in with her to see if she's okay, she told me she's taking a cab home now, unless she was in Shenzhen, she came home at 2:30am.
I waited up for her and asked her why so late? She said she was at a party and sorry she should have told me earlier about coming home late (And yeah, I can smell the smoke and alcohol.)
So this is a bit tricky, because we had an argument last week, she actually hand in her resignation letter, we managed to persuade her to stay, but now this happened. She's always been pretty responsible and honest. this has never happened before. Is she up to funny business or she was just having too much fun at a party?
What would you do?
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cd
16 yrs ago
Providing that she can still get up on time and do her work, then its up to her how late she stays out.
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Agreed with cd. The helper is a big girl. As long as she can work, I don't see the problem. It is disrespectful of her to treat her like a child and ask why so late, ask her to give advance notice, etc...
"Is she up to funny business or she was just having too much fun at a party?"
Sounds like she blew off some steam. You then showed that you don't respect her judgment by asking her those questions. Why do you need to know when she will be coming home?
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need to know if she's okay, if your roommate didn't come home until late, wouldn't you e concerned to call to check up? what if she didn't come home at all?
So, yes it is none of my business what she does on her time off, but if she was planning to come home so late, i think a heads up would have been courteous
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I disagree with the above posters - if your helper coming home after midnight makes you uncomfortable and worried, you should impose a curfew - whatever time you are happy with.
This has nothing to do with her contract and everything to do with your house rules. Obviously, she can do as she chooses in her own time, as the others have pointed out but, as someone who shares your living space, she needs to observe, if not respect, your rules.
I have stayed, as a paying guest, in guest houses in Japan and Europe, where the curfew was 11pm (and, thereafter, the door was locked). I did not regard that action as unreasonable and think that your situation is similar. It is your home, after all.
Having said that, it is hard to impose a curfew after the fact without creating resentment. These rules should always be made clear at the interview. I also agree with Cara that she may be hoping that you will dismiss her.
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When we interviewed for helpers, I said from the outset I would like our helper to be home by 10pm. I cannot enforce this I know, but I did say it was important to us. We have a fairly small apartment, and we go to bed fairly early. I don't want to be woken up with someone coming in. Secondly, we have a young family and I want my helper to be at her best when looking after my children.
Having said all that, we allow our helper to leave on a Saturday afternoon/evening, so I think we are being more than fair. She agreed at the start of her contract and I have it in writing, so there are no misunderstandings.
It's a very fine line with this issue. I agree with smallfry in that guesthouses have curfews and you need to abide by these rules of house and respect the people living within.
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hi all, from a helpers point of view:
i dont think its right for the helper to just come home that late without informing her employer.
i also dont have a curfew but i do try and give a heads up whenever i get roped into a party..
and yes i do smoke and drink socially.. but never inside my employers house.. they dont smoke and its just respecting their rights... they know toowe have a small balcony off the kitchen where i go out and have a puff before i go to bed if i feel like it..
i think its a general give-respect-get-respect set up when it comes to the employer-helper relationship
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