Do you make a to do list?

Im soaking up all the info im reading here in the blog. few are happy, some are satisfied or have settled for their helpers shortcomings, some are disappointed, and a few are frustrated.



I know finding a really good quality helper is like finding a needle in a haystack. I wont say that they dont exist but they are rare...those who will not take advantage or you, those who are trustworthy, those who will geniunely care for your family. and i believe for that they have to be rewarded and so, ive worked something out on how to do that.


but before we get there (if ever we get there), i want certain things done by the helper...everyday responsibilities...Should i leave it to them to...meaning let them work with their own initiative, their own way and at the end of the day...have to tell them what theyve missed or criticise. Or should i make a list, coz im facinated how hotel helps work so fast (15-20 mins a room i estimate) and they do so many rooms which i could imagine by the end of the day they are just dead tired. while a house with 3 bedrooms and 2 baths shouldnt be so hard for them to clean. specially when im a stay home housewife who can help her bits.


That being said would it be unreasonable to expect that before noon shes done? that way she can even take the afternoon to helself till she has to attend to us for dinner. unless i wish to go out...do you take your maid grocery shopping...to hospital appointments or gym...just making her sit on the side, attending to the baby. it might be too much for the help being cooped up at home the whole week.


and for those who have helper that also drives, what is their going rate? coz right now i believe, FDH goes for HK$3680 a month, right?

then 300-500HK$ for food, which is dicretionary.


so many questions but i need some ideas.

We've just hired a brilliant woman part time who used to be a DH in HK years ago but has recently moved back to HK with her (western)hubby for his work. She just wants a little work to stop herself getting bored rather than to make money to send home. We can't believe how lucky we are to have found someone who does this work because she wants to rather than has to!


To the point now! -I do make lists but they're for myself as our helper is very good at finding what has to be done if I don't tell her. Yesterday I went out for a few hours to do groceries and errands and asked her to do the windows and go over the stove really well that day as they were my priorities -which she did as well as floors, bathrooms, etc.


If you have a lot of things to be done whilst you are out, perhaps a checklist for your helper would help her to remember. I agree with Cara that an overview list with daily, weekly, monthly chores would be very helpful as she can then read in plain black and white what you want her to do and she can self monitor. As the day draws to a close she can review the daily list and see it's all done, as the week draws to a close she can review the weekly list, etc.


It is a bit of pot luck finding the right staff and not always everyone who interviews well will be great for the job. The lady we hired was very quiet and shy in her interview but we had a good feeling about her whereas others who interviewed well I got the feeling might have too many of their own opinions to do things the way I'd like them done IYKWIM!!


Good luck

thanks that is really helpful, some of the things youve mentioned, im still to note.


Actually, i intend to do most of the cooking, since i love to cook. maybe once in a while she can do it. CErtain things such as ironing doesnt have to be everday. And this i expect for her to do in the afternoon, and other errands such as small groceries and dropping the clothes to the dry cleaners.


Laundry i believe should not interfere with her daily routine, as she doesnt have to do it by hand. She could just pop it in and move on. And most of the time, i like to do things, id like to see properly done. Im not OC. But i like to be on top of things.


Also id like to care for my baby most of the time, thats the idea in the first place, that i get to spend quality time with family.


I wouldnt have a problem with her sleeping for 2 hrs in the afternoon, watch t.v. or do whatever she fancies as long as her responsibilities are done. after all she also gets tired.


Am i being naive about it?

well i must say you are very lucky to have such a helper. do you pay her extra??...incentives...i just wonder how to keep a maid straight.


Actually yes, we had helpers while growing up and its kind of different. He was employed when i was just 2yrs. old by my dad for the business at 18 till the business wrapped up and he was pushing 50 at that time. he was not perfect but i guess i never thought of him as an employee. he was hired to carry boxes and wash the vehicles but he did more than that. He washed the dogs, he sometimes cooks for breakfast, goes into the pots and pans if hes hungry, goes into the refrigerator, does a handyman's job. and when theres a threath of burglary in the neighborhood he also sleeps in the house. He did more, and i appreciate him so much now that ive grown and realized what hes done. certainly hes not perfect. he answers back when he gets lectured, which is disrespectful. Nonetheless when we let him go we gave him a business as my dad was worried that if he gave cash, he might just use it to drink or spent it wantonly.


Anyway there are more, which i dont much remember anymore. my mom's rule is once they resigned they will not be rehired. needless to say alot of them threatened to leave if we wont raise their salary and they did coz my mom wont budge. lots of them begged for their jobs back coz we treat them very well, they eat what we eat, meaning lots of meat on an everyday basis. we give them their own soap, sometimes share shampoo and also detergent. they get to watch t.v. in other words its not very strict. and lots of them grew fat in our ward. a few of them have stolen of course...money in this case or merchandise.


so i guess my mom grew tired of putting trust ang getting disappointed. she just hired a laundry woman despite of the washing machine as she doesnt trust it... twice a week and a different woman to iron once a week, which could number to 25-30pcs.


then the ironing woman's children would come to sweep and dust and wash the bathroom/toilet...also once a week, they actually ask for to do it to add to their daily schooling allowance.


but that is back home. in HK i noticed helpers are clever and some are scammers. i mean can anybody stop them from hopping from one job get themselves fired, pocket the money, then move on to the next unsuspecting victim. Ive read about employers getting black listed. what about abusive maids gettting black listed.


i dont know why im so worried...i guess i just really want it to work out. reading so many horror stories here kills my hopes. but i know i cant not have a maid. I have a small baby and working on the next.

very busy day but wow!

its a very good working relationship you have there. I believe she has come to care for your family already. otherwise she wouldnt have stayed that long.


also do you trust her with the house keys?

Do employers lock their maids in the house when they leave for short periods of time? (i guess in fear they may start calling their friends and party in their house)


And how does your maid call you?? ...ma'am or by name??


also who drafts the contract?? a lawyer, the agency and then you get it notarized. because with such things, i really dont know how to manipulate it. is there anybody who can intelligently advice and guide me through it.

If you're trusting helpers to live in your home, and as Cara says perhaps look after your kids, why on earth would you not give them a key.

i see, but im sure not right away.


anyway i will go about this cautiously, i dont know how much i can learn about the backround of a prospect helper, but i would certainly not employ anybody without reference. the idea is to employ someone who is recommended by a friend/colleague, or take the ones who will be rendered unemployed by those colleagues who are transfering. bankers move alot so im banking on it :)

Another advantage of a list is that you can gauge in advance how much work the helper will have to do. Many employers overload their helpers without thinking about it.


"Laundry i believe should not interfere with her daily routine, as she doesnt have to do it by hand. She could just pop it in and move on. And most of the time, i like to do things, id like to see properly done. Im not OC. But i like to be on top of things."


What about folding and ironing?

with a baby barely able to crawl and my as a stayhome wife, i dont think it would be much for her. i said i need a helper, that means help...


as i told you cleaning and tidying up should be done by noon, by which time i should be starting to cook and her looking after the baby, if the baby is up.


As for the ' on top of things'' comment. I hate it when i go to look for something and i cant find it. that being said, i do all the organizing and its her job to put them back where they come from after use. with regards to folding and ironing, either she can do it the same day or the next day preferrably she folds it soon after it has dried. it is then my responsibility to put it in my closet. Again, 'on top of things', its my closet, i should know where my things are, so i organize it. And she should facilitate me by folding them. Ironing, could be done once or twice a week. the most important of which is my husband' office shirts and pants. Suits and other delicates goes to the dry cleaners.


in other words, things should be where they are when i come look for them, i think it is only reasonable.

hi mothercricket


i don't believe that finding a good helper is like finding a needle in a haystack, unless you agree that your chances of finding a good employer are equally as small.


from my experience it seems to come down to personality types, communication and expectations.


one difference between hotel rooms and homes is that hotel rooms don't have the abundance that permanent homes do. despite our best efforts to declutter...kids have toys, homework that gets spread over the house, bits of paper, legos that got sprinkled under the couch...or maybe that's just my place!


a word of mouth recommendation is a positive thing, but trust your intuition. if you meet a potential helper and even though her references are glowing, if it doesn't feel right, and you think the two of you won't click, don't do it. look around a bit more, interview some other ladies.


we have been very lucky with our helpers. i can tell you with our first helper i made MANY mistakes and was not a particularly good employer. sure i was kind, but i didn't give guidelines and was surprised that she and i didn't have the same priority items when it came to housecleaning. thankfully, i got better. we have regular "staff meetings" with our current helper to talk about how things are going and that really is a positive move. no miscommunication.


having someone live in your home does seem like a challenging concept and in a way it is, but it is also a massive blessing.

"i don't believe that finding a good helper is like finding a needle in a haystack, unless you agree that your chances of finding a good employer are equally as small."


Very well said.


"a word of mouth recommendation is a positive thing, but trust your intuition. if you meet a potential helper and even though her references are glowing, if it doesn't feel right, and you think the two of you won't click, don't do it. look around a bit more, interview some other ladies."


The same is true the other way. If a helper feels great even without stellar references, she could be the one for you. It could be she just didn't click with her previous employers.


"we have regular "staff meetings" with our current helper to talk about how things are going and that really is a positive move. no miscommunication"


An excellent habit that should be implemented by ALL employers. Even a 2 minute conversation over a cup of coffee every morning can make the difference between a great relationship with a helper and a disastrous one.

I get the impression that you believe helpers are not to be trusted? We have a new part timer (as I mentioned above) and I have left her from her 2nd shift with us, unattended, to go out and do errands or take my son to the park. I leave the door unlocked and she knows there is a key by the door if she needs to go out and lock up (not likely but what if there was a fire?) On her 2nd shift with us I left my son sleeping whilst she cleaned and went for a run and it did not bother me in the slightest. I tell her 'I'm going to do groceries and will be back around 2pm. Call my mobile if you need anything. Thanks, bye!' and give it no further thought.


We have cash and passports in unlocked drawers and it doesn't phase me in the slightest. I'm friendly and courteous with her and she is back. We call each other by each others first name and when we chat it's very relaxed.


No relationship (business, personal or whatever) will ever work without trust. Perhaps you can look more at why you don't trust helpers before you go ahead and hire one?

According to my husband im too trusting too soon, thats why i get disappointed.