Problem with the helper

My helper has been with me for only 6 months and recently thing went from bad to worse.


She can clean apartment without my supervision and is good with my children but if I tell her that she is doing something wrong or not the way I would like her to do she gets very defensive and raises her voice. She says that if I don’t like the way she does thing I can always fire her. When she raises voice at me always end up having arguments.


She is extremely moody and creates not nice atmosphere around the house.


After only 4 months with us we sent her home for Christmas agreeing previously that she will go for 2 weeks paid and 2 week unpaid holiday. As we were out of the country for 2 weeks I had no problem to pay her as if she would stay in Hong Kong I would have to do so too. SO I thought she might as well spend time with her family. As she wanted to stay longer I felt this is not fair form me to be paying her and part time helper so said that is she wants to go for 4 weeks this is fine by my but 2 weeks will be unpaid. I made sure she was clear about it. On payment of her salary she was very angry shouting at me that I should not deduct any money from her salary that this is not fair and how is she going to live on only two week salary….I do understand her point but it was her decision and it was agreed before she let.


Now she is going around and telling or her friend how unfair I m and how badly she is treated. Know there is always a bit of fault on both sides but I do not want the lies to be told about me. I was always clear an honest with her and it makes me angry she says all the things about me as I know some helpers will say it to their employers / my friends.

We are going to give her one month notice and terminate her contract it just worries me how she will be during her notice period if she behaves do disrespectfully towards me at the moment. And I fell it is unfair to give her month wages for nothing as she has been so misbehaving…I m lost.


Has anyone experience something similar? How did you deal with it? Any advice highly appreciated

my single advice is not to have her around for one more month. pay the money and let her go right away: you will be happier.


(not suggesting anything but i would worry less about her behavior towards you but more about her breaking or stealing things before the one month is up)

Get rid of her ASAP. Give her 1 month notice(if ypu can bear it for another month). Then make sure you buy her a plane ticket going home. Then inform Imm Dept.Why I am saying this? Because this could be her Modus Operandi. I experoenced this myself. Most of them would start nice then become irritatingly disrespectful just after several months. Hoping that you would give them 1 month salary just to immediately terminate her and cash for plane ticket. It is like she's receiving bonus for her short and disrespectful service. Then instead of going home she would apply to other employer and do this again! I'm sure she will ask for cash instead of plane ticket.Dont give her the pleasure.

Hi Andonette,

Make sure you get everything ie. all monies and tickets, documented and signed for when you discontinue her contract, and have a witness present if possible.

She seems like the type who might take you to the labor department.

Did you have in writing that she agreed to take the extra two weeks unpaid holiday at christmas?

Some helpers are very cunning, and flit around from one job to the next, continually p**ing off employers.

Good luck getting rid of this one.

Thanks everyone, we decided to give her one month notice and if the things Ho bed I will just give her a cash and she be on her way. Unfortunately I do not have any written documentation that she agreed to unpaid leave, but as age is not in title to any paid holidays yet I hope she does not have much ground to go to the court based on it. I will also write a letter stating that all her wages and food allowance has been paid in full as was agreed. I will have it on her notice letter just in case things go ugly after that. My husband also said he will not give her cash for ticket but book her one. After listen to your advices I completely agree with it.


The shame is that our next helper might be a lovely person but it will be hard to completely trust her :(

Cara can you please share your experience? I'm also torn between giving 1 month pay or letting my helper work the last month. She is very new and seems very nice and kind so far, unfortunately her domestic skills is not there. We decided it would be best to find a replacement. i hired her through an agent, but just don't know where she would stay if i ask her to leave. seems kind of cruel

Dear Andonette,


Since she only worked for you 7 months she is roughly entilted to 4 days holidays. When you give her the last payment you can deduct the money from the extra holidays you gave her.


My previous helper that only worked here for 2 months was a total nightmare, think she was after 1 month notice salary.


To make things worse she borrowed money from a loan company, I get the calls and mails asking for payment.


This lady was a total rat, don't let your to get away with anything.


Send by fax immediately the termination letter to immigration, make sure you have all receipts in place, airplane ticket with leave for the next day she leaves your house (not exchangable and not refundable) and if she decides to go to immigration over the deduction of extra holidays it can be easily prove she is not entitled to any more than that.

I am of the impression that one month notice pay is not even enough to cover a helper's expense to find another employment. These helpers pay agencies a lot of money just to get employed again. I also have the impression that only helpers who have completed a 2-year contract, released due to death of employer, released due to employers' leaving Hong Kong for good can stay in HK and find another employer without re-paying huge amounts to agencies.


I'm just commenting on the premise that some helpers are playing "bad" to get the one month notice in lieu. It doesn't make much sense. On the other hand, in a way it also does, if they hate working for the employer and wants to get fired immediately instead of them putting in notice. It's just a lose-lose situation...


Of course, this does not excuse bad behaviour as posted by the OP.

I have stopped being naive about helpers not paying huge fees to agencies because the fees are capped at 10% of a month's income. Agencies can't survive well, i guess, if they charge that percentage alone. I personally was in the know of a recent case wherein a helper was brave enough to ask the agency to stop asking her to pay the full 10K "placement" fee [she's one of those who have finished a 2-year contract and doesn't have to go back to her country of origin]. The case reached the courts. I don't know how it ended, but my point is agencies continue to fleece these helpers [especially those who are desperate to find a new employer].

All agencies charge helpers ranging from hkd6,000-hkd12,000 if they are break contract ot terminated.

but there are some agencies that charge the helpers cheaper but only those helpers who came from them.


About your problems with your helpers, there are helpers who are just really abusive when their employers are good to them.


There are also cases where a helper tells the employer to fire them if they are not satisfied with their work. The ones who do this are ready to be fired. The reasons why helpers do this is because they are not satisfied with there employment situation.

But there were some who just really have bad attitudes.

They never think how lucky they are to have good employers and they should give good service in return.

There are some that i met that says their employers are afraid to lose a helper so its ok to do this and that.


Its just crazy how you guys are having problems with your helpers and most of us are having problems with our employers.


I have been with my employers for a year and 6 months and i have lose all my patience already. I determined to finish the contract but sometimes my situation is getting worst. They are giving me more things to do that makes me go to bed late even during my holidays.


So now I'm looking for an employer, if i get one then I'm breaking a contract and I'm willing to pay my employers with my one month salary if someone wants an urgent helper. Despite of my situation, i never did something wrong or give them reason to terminate me just to get the extra one month salary. I just say ok to everything they say. It is only here where i have experience not to eat that's why i always buy a bread for me to have something to eat when the food they give in not enough or when they don't give me food.


Anyways, there are always bad and good person and they can either be the helper or the employer.


If any of you want to try and get a new helper, please let me know.

You can send me message here or whatsapp me at 95817514


Thank you!