changing helper with small kids

i would like to hear of people's experiences of changing helpers and how their kids dealt with it. my helper's health is not good and i may not be able to renew her contract when it is up next year. on the exact month that her contract is up (april), my son will be 2 years old (exactly 24 months) AND we will have a newborn in the house! i am more concerned how my 2 year old will react to a new helper? does it take days/weeks/months for them to adjust? is there a risk that they may never take to the new one? then what? any advice appreciated. :)

He will not have any long term adverse reaction. It might be a bit of an adjustment the first week or two but children this age adjust very quickly.


I would tell the child openly what is happening, but try not to dwell on it too much after the deed is done. Also, treat him as he would normally be treated. Two year olds instinctively try to grab any advantage ("terrible twos") and if you are softer than usual during a period you make life harder for everyone, especially the new helper. He needs to know that some things are immutable despite two new people in the house.


"is there a risk that they may never take to the new one? "


Sure, but that could happen with any helper. It depends entirely on the helper and the family's relationship with her. The transition itself is not a factor for more than a few days.

My daughter was 2 yrs, 4 months, when our helper left our family. She had been with us for a year, and I was so worried, as our daughter loved the helper and they got along so well. We didn't hire a new helper for 4 months and during the time our daughter would often ask for the helper. We now have a new helper who has been with us for 5 months and they have bonded sooo well (even better). My daughter would often call our new helper by the old helpers name. Everything has worked out so good

I have one bit of advice as someone who had a month old baby and a 2.5 year old when our new helper started. - don't let the new helper make herself feel more comfortable with the newborn.

My toddler wasn't unfriendly, but he was hard work for the new lady, and I found that as I was at home on maternity leave, he pretty much ignored her, wouldn't eat with her, wouldn't even play with her. She didn't pursue the relationship as i would have liked, maybe due to being scared for her job or she just couldn't be bothered, i don't know, but she reverted to mainly taking care of the baby, and then going to her room if I was in the room with my son.

In the end, I made it crystal clear to her each and every time she walked off, that she should be playing and getting to know my son, and in the end, it worked. it has taken us 3-4 months. Its doable, you just cannot let the helper go into a comfort zone of her choosing.