How does your helper help with the newborn at night?

We are trying to figure out how the helper can play a role with the nightly changes etc, would someone who just went through this care to share their experience? Currently I have the baby in my room since I am feeding and I have asked the helper to check in at 2am and 5 am for diaper changes.

Just an observation...Unless the helper was employed specifically to care for the newborn baby (in which case getting up in the middle of the night could be seen as an integral part of her routine, as long as she has time off to make up for the lost sleep during the day) it could be unreasonable to expect her to do that AND keep up with a full list of duties to be performed to the usual high standard during the day. A lot of assumptions there, but as I said - just an observation.

My advice would be to do what's best for you. At the end of the day, you're the mother and if you need help then you should have it. Having a helper is no different from all the other families in England who have their mothers over to help them do night feeds etc.

I had a terrible time with my son when he was born. I was in pain from a C-Section, thoroughly exhausted emotionally and physically, and my son had silent reflux which meant that feeding him was a battle of wits and patience....and to cap it off I think i was having a bad case of the blues.

I have a great helper and yes she helped me out at nights too when I knew I needed my sleep. Without her I probably would have had serious post natal depression (due to my son's refusal to drink) so I know how important it is that as a mother you should do what's best for you.

My helper did the night feeds 2-3 times a week just so I could sleep....and they would generally be during the week so that she could still enjoy her day off at the weekend without being too tired. Obviously she could sleep whenever she needed it the following day, and luckily for all of us, my son slept from 7-7 during wk 11...

Remember..it's your life - a happy mother is a happy baby.

1. It will get better. Baby will start sleeping from 11pm to 6 am - ish at about 12 weeks if you are lucky.


2. I agree that you should not ask your full time day helper to assist at night, it will make her too tired during the day.


3. Hire a night-time helper for the first 3 -4 months - yes this is illegal, but your maid might have a friend willing to do this. We did this. She arrived at 11pm, and left at 7am.


The night went like this:


Baby slept in baby room, I slept in my room.

On weekend, husband replaced helper in this job, and we would alternate when I had the energy.


9pm - I went to bed.

11pm - helper woke up baby, change nappy, wake me up for breast feed, I gave baby back to helper, she would change nappy and put baby to bed.


2am / 4am, this then changed to only 3am - baby would wake up, helper would wait 10 minutes to be sure baby would not go back to sleep, then get baby, sooth baby, chagne nappy, wake me up for a feed, I woudl feed baby, give baby back to helper and she would change and sooth and put back to bed.


6:30 am - wake up baby if baby was not already awake - repeat above, except we woudl try to keep baby awake after this feed and night helper would go home and day helper would take over.


night helper also was sure to get me a glass of water for each breast feed.


4. We are about to have baby#2 and I am hiring a full time second helper. The first 3 months she will work at night.


5. Good luck, and really do know that it gets way better after 6 weeks, then again after 12 weeks.


6. Also it is sooo important you sleep and drink a lot of water - so keep doing both of these things!!! And congratulations on the breast feeding!!!