Some feedback from Helpers

Over the holidays I had a chance to spend a fair amount of time with helpers. Since this is an advice thread, I thought I would tell you what they said. These are simply things I heard, not a political statement or personal attack.

""The work is easy, but the job is hard". Why? I asked.

My employers put alot of emotional pressure on me, they question every aspect of my personal and family life. If they are not satisified with my work, the way they get me to try harder is by constant reminding and pointing out all of my mistakes from the very beginning. (This girl is on her third contact) This was spoken through alot of tears. Why did she recontract? She loves the kids, but with the end of this contract she is going home for good.

My employer will not give me any food except the leftovers, I cannot cook any rice unless I get her permission. Sometimes the food is three days old. I am so hungry I am guitting( less than one month)

My employer goes thorugh every item in my room when I am out of the house. She checks all of my bags and my wallet before and after I get home. When I asked her why she will treat me like this, she said she does this even to her husband! This employer tried very hard to keep this helper, but in the end she couldn't take it and gave one month's notice.

Three different girls, each with pretty common problems. Not sure if there is a solution, I hear the Phil and INdonesian Consulates are hoping to drastically decrease the number of foreign workers to HK by 2017. Perhaps this is a long overdue measure to take.

Clearly some people are labouring in very difficult circumstances :(


Where did you hear the Phil and Indo govts were planning to scale back these programs?


From what I understand the domestic help business is big business for the indo consulate... and remittances/taxes from helpers and other overseas workers from the Phils are a HUGE component of their annual revenues - so I'd be surprised to hear either were planning to cut...

http://www.scmp.com/news/hong-kong/article/1027382/hong-kong-could-face-maid-shortage-2017

It was a while ago, but I was pretty sure it was in the SCMP so I googled it

I've also done a lot of research and conducted many interviews with domestic helpers. This situation is very common and there are many situations that are far worse.


Lately, a woman has been telling me that she would like to go home for a few days because her father is dying. The problem is, she can't tell her employer that her father will die soon due to a Chinese superstition that says it will bring bad luck to the family she works for. So she cannnot do anything because she wants to keep the job. There are many other stories Ive heard. Some deal with mental and physical abuse.


The problem is not only with the employer. The agencies are a huge scam also, and a big reason why some domestic helpers will not break their contract. If they do, they need to pay as high as 7K to agencies to find them a new employer. If you look at all that's needed to process paperwork and visa, it doesn't amount to that much money. They are simply extorting money from people who have very little. And how do they pay this you may ask, the money is deducted every month from their paycheck. So in the end, they are working 6 days a week, 15 to 20 hours a day, and being paid next to nothing. Another question is, if they're so miserable here, just go back home. I can tell you, the situation in their home country is dire. So they would rather stay here, endure the abuse, and send money home to their children. They are going by what we parents always say to ourselves, "I will do anything for my child" "Even if it means being abused, starved, or punished severly by their employers.

If they are not satisified with my work, the way they get me to try harder is by constant reminding and pointing out all of my mistakes from the very beginning.


I see nothing worng with this. If my employer is unhappy with my, I'm told to pick up my game, if I continue making mistakes I would be out on my ear. I'm insightful enough to realise that my employer, although he may be friednly to me, he is not my friend. My work performance needs to beup to snuff and if it isn't they're going to let me know about it.


Hkwatcher, was there any admission from the helper that her work performance warranted the reminding? From my own experience, with a helper and young children the details matter. One of my helpers need to be constantly reminded not to leave the house when a child is at home (thus leaving them alone), not to leave soup or other food cooking when they dash off to get the paper (for herself) ect. She is told but after 2 weeks forgets. I can't imagine what my employer would do if I reverted back to the same old if they had told me that what I was doing was undesirable after chaging my behaviour for 2 weeks.

sorry for all the typos

Up until last year, I would have agreed with the sentiment on these posts that helpers get a raw deal in HK. All that has changed when I got my first full time helper a year and a half ago. Never again. Dont be naive enough to believe that all domestic helpers are helpless exploited workers. I think the Hong Kongese here with helpers, have learned the hard way that kindness is seen as weakness to be exploited and can lead to all sorts of problems.


Trying hard to be reasonable with my new helper, I gave her more salary than was required and asked very little in return. I got even less than I asked for. She wouldnt/couldnt cook. I shopped on line myself because shopping was too difficult for her. She would disappear for hours and come back and tell me the shop had run out of oil/bread etc if I did ask her to buy annything. She disappeared after half past two in the afternoon most days because she was busy helping friends move or going to a birthday party so I rarely saw her. I subsequently found out she had many part time jobs and had difficulty fitting me in. When I did see her in the house, she was usually crying telling me of her problems back home and asking for money or ways of sponsoring other people to join her in Hong kong. A few thousand dollars went missing from my house and when I found out accidentally, she told me she borrowed it to send back to the Phillipines for an emergency. Total and absolute abuse of trust. For these reasons and many more, when I gave her a months notice to quit and tried to pay her everything she was owed, she lodged a complaint with the labour department saying I had withheld her salary. she told me if she did this, she could stay in HK while the case was pending and work illegally for all her other jobs. She told me I should give her financial compensation for terminating her contract and when I told her I refused to be blackmailed it went to the tribunal. She also lodged a complaint with the immigration for a minor infringement (I moved apartment and forgot to inform them) and as a result may be charged which will affect my permenant residency application.


Unfortunate? Yes. Unique? No. Once youre in this kind of situation, you learn of all sorts of people who have been in the same situation. I was warned by my Hong Kong colleagues of the folly of not keeping a tight reign on the behaviour of my helper and they were right. Absolutely right every one of them. I am a cautionary tale and dont be duped by the one sided stories that regularly appear telling of the bad treatment of helpers. Im sure it happens a lot but there are two sides to every story.

Hi Lagrue

In all honesty this helper is on her 5th year with the same employer, and she has performed well enough they have renewed her contract. But I expect it is like many of us, we have times when just aren't 100% focused. They know when she is on her game and when she isn't. Her distress was not over the fact they needed to communicate correction or anything about that. She is overloaded with the emotional barrage and the linking of her character to her performance.

For example, if you don't finish all of your work, you must be lazy. If you don't clean 100% of the space ( miss the area between the front door and gate, and said you did clean, then you are liar. It is my opinion that linking a character weakness to performance is undermining a helper's ability to do her job. They just lose heart.

You are 100% correct in your comments about upping your game for your employer, but the difference here is the helper lives with the employer and has 24 hours off in the week. You and I get to go home and get away from the office, the girls live in the office. Many, many probably over 75% (or more)of employers do not give a full 24 hours off to their helper. They require cooking prior to leaving, they have a curfew to return and that would include cleaning the kitchen and taking out the garbage prior to going to bed on their day off. Also if you have the kind of boss that remembers every single mistake you've made and reminds you of them, I am sorry for you and I hope you can find a new job soon.

Everyone complains about how the agencies cheat, but I don't often hear about how some employers have some difficult condition placed on girls. That's why I started this thread.

In your situation, if you are finding this helper can't remember after weeks of telling her. You ought to consider writing a warning letter to her explaining clearly why you are unhappy. The sit down with her and tell her some good things she is doing and go over again why you are unhappy. Tell her that leaving the child alone is grounds for dismissal if it happens again. Ask her what is happening in the house that is causing her to leave? What are the options? For example, one child is sleeping and it is time t run down to the bus stop to meet another one coming home from school. These are just some ideas and I am not trying to manage your situation. I am saying I hope you can open some communication.

best

watcher

Alexandra

I am really sorry for your experience. This was clearly not a suitable helper.

After so many years in HK myself, I have come to the conclusion that higher salary needs to be based on performance and not on emotion. If you start out treating a helper as a friend and listen to all the family problems you can get sucked into a vortex of what is happening back home. There will ALWAYS be someone in need back home. Those family members know who is working abroad and make a point of asking for help, which puts a tremendous cultural pressure on these girls to give money. The hospital will not accept a patient unless they have the money, an appendicitis can be a matter of life and death in the Phil. Sad but true.

I hope you have better luck with your next helper. Clearly this lady knew how to make your life hard, but I believe this is the exception rather than the rule. Try not to carry this bitterness into your next contract (if you chose to hire again)

Good luck

watcher

Hi Watcher,


I wouldnt hire again so it wont be a problem. I just wanted people to know what can and does happen. I never treated her as a friend and kept a respectful professional distance but that didnt stop her asking for money or randomly crying about her situation. Her problems came not from any altruistic motives or medical emergencies but because the father of her 3 children who on her own admission, was a bad yin. She wanted him with her in HK, actually suggesting that I buy a car and sponsor him as my driver. I neither need nor could afford a driver and live minutes from work. A full time helper was pushing it to be honest.


Anyway, lesson learned.

hkwatcher, I have given her a first and final written warning and have sat her down and spoken to her. She has admitted she is not at the top of her game but doesn't know why. She also admits that her job with me is any easy gig, she's not our only helper (my other helper makes double per month what this one makes as she is a superstar) and we have a driver. As she won't tell me why she does these things, I can't fix the problem. I have kept her because she does try and I can see that, plus she has told me that she wants to work for our family (?easy job, good living conditions - we have a separate helpers quarters that affords significant privacy and they are always off between 8-9pm every night) and of course is good at certain things, shopping and is an excellent cook but does these random things probably that I only pick up sporadically because I am a WOHM. Why does she leave the house to have a chat with the helper from next door, well, my child is asleep and she's only hanging about in the stairwell (this is my conjecture as to why she does it, she never responds when I ask her why she does these things). Why does she not lock the door when she goes down a flight of stairs to throw out the garbage when she has been told to - well she wants to cut a corner I guess, why does she leave soup/food cooking on a massive boil when she nicks off to pick up the paper from downstairs for herself, guess she thinks it's safe and no-one's home.

She's been a helper for 24 years already and is only 42, I think she's a bit set in her ways and has a value system that is very different to mine.

have given her a first and final written warning and have sat her down and spoken to her. She has admitted she is not at the top of her game but doesn't know why'


'

She's been a helper for 24 years already and is only 42, I think she's a bit set in her ways and has a value system that is very different to mine.'


You'd think after 24 years she would have honed her craft by now.

I know there are tremendously abhorrent abuse stories out there, but I opened this hoping to see some real insight into what 'normal' helpers go through, what they REALLY think. (OK, I wanted it to be all about MEEEEEE! haha!) We try to provide a good peaceful and supportive home environment. Hearing what they really think, (behind our backs) could be very helpful in seeing where we are succeeding and where we are not.


Maybe next time you could interview and post a broader range of experiences, including working for expats?

I agree with carynbanker51. Not all helpers are in abusive employment situations. As with everything, you only get hear about the worst cases. There must be many helpers/employers out there who have good working conditions/relationships. Like any employee, if you make mistakes, your employer is going to point it out to you, makes no difference whether you're employed as a DH, office worker, teacher, shop assistant, waitress, etc., if you do something incorrect your employer is quite with their rights to point it out to you, until you get it right!


I, for one, most certainly do not question any aspect of my helper's personal/family life, I'm simply not interested. She's my employee, not my friend/family, and that's the way I like it. For others it may be different. Some employers treat their helpers like one of the family, and that's fine if that's what suits them, but it's pretty obvious from the OP that some helpers perhaps would prefer to keep their personal/family life more private, and that's fine too.


Obviously, an employer who does not allow their helper enough food and checks through her bags, etc., isn't right in the mind. But I can't imagine for a moment that this is the case with most employers. As I said, we only hear about the worst situations.


As the above post says, it would be insightful to have some feedback from helpers with a broader range of experiences ....

This is interesting....

I did not expect to hear people wished to hear feedback from a broader range. I simply wrote a few things that I encountered over the holiday period. I am just one person. I made no blanket statements of all helpers in abusive situations. (as quoted by another poster) These are three examples only.

The girls I spoke to seemed interesting simply because one was a re-contract, one had an employer who probably shouldn't even have a helper since she didn't want to feed her, and the third had an employer that liked her and wanted her to stay but she didn't want to be searched every day, so she got a new employer.....

Clearly, people who read this forum, will gravitate toward any situation that might be similar to their own experiences both good and bad.

But this is an advice forum, perhaps what you what you want to hear isn't that realisitic from my point of view. It was my intention to offer an example of the other side of the story which this forum cannot do since it is populated by employers.

No blame assigned, not the agency, the girls themselves or the employers, just a sample of how three helpers had three different experiences. Believe me, I have heard much worse stories from other girls, but I reserve all judgement because I haven't heard the employer's side. (been in HK a long time)


watcher

It's nice knowing a lot of employers would like to assess their own performance as the boss. But I think even watcher, who knows a great deal of information, would have a pretty hard time to get those in a normal(or good) situations to open up on what they think or feel. We all have our own work issues but helpers would only open up to another helper. No matter what kind of relationship you have, have an open communication. Since you are the boss you say what you want and make sure helper understood. If you are not satisfied or happy, let the helper know in a nice and clear way. Ask questions because a lot of helpers have trouble expressing, but please do it in a way your helper wont get intimidated or you'll risk her getting too defensive that she'll lie. I've met a few helpers who would give up higher salary in exchange to good relationship with their boss so im pretty sure they would appreciate your interest with their personal life.

I too have heard such similar stories, when taking my child to the park. Take them all with a grain of salt now although I am sure such abuses exist. They all end up asking me for a job, either for them or their relative/friend etc.

hkwatcher; my post was not meant as a criticism, only perhaps some food for thought on your next venture. I would imagine some girls would open up to you in this anonymous process and forum because You are not giving their names. Well, maybe or maybe not, but if the 3 examples here did, why not others? Anyway; thank you for interviewing them and relating it to us here. It is still interesting.

Well if you are providing a good environment for your helper, carynbanker51, im pretty sure she is happy or thankful at least. What would you like to know that you can't personally ask her?

No worries carynbankers, I didn't take it as a criticism.

One just hears these things, and it struck me we don't make take a lot of notice of other's experiences on this forum except the employer's. (of course this IS a forum for employers) :)

Something I can tell you about expat employers and their communication style that is different from locals and I've heard it quite a few times is that helpers don't like being sworn at.

I have to laugh at that a little.....they are most likely sworn at in another language, but they just don't understand what is being said!


Having said that, some girls get kind of worn don't with being "cussed out" so to speak. It's kind of a cultural thing everywhere though, so most of them just get used to it.

I worked with a guy who couldn't say one sentence without a bleep bleep word, and it got old after awhile and we just stopped listening to him.

Hmmm there might be a correlation to this after all.....


watcher

@dazzle09: Thanks for your reply. I'm pretty sure our helper is overall happy in her position with us, yes. It's still a fine line we all tread, (both employers and employees) in this, because we are living in the same home; it's not like a normal employment relationship. A smooth sailing ship and harmony is more important than in an office job.


I suppose I'd only like to know if she is being truthful with us on how well she likes the set-up or if she won't ever feel free to do so. She works for us (at HER insistence) 7 days a week. She only goes out on Sundays after she has walked the dogs and fed us all, (whether we want it or not!) breakfast and put in at least 1 load of laundry. Not at ALL required, but she says she doesn't want the laundry to pile up and doesn't feel comfortable going off without 'taking care of us first'. On Sunday evenings, I RACE to get the dishes done before she comes home and takes over again. (LOL, I know, I know, such problems, oy vey!)


Now I know "I" do that with my job too. I stay late and come in early and take work home when I have never been asked to and even been discouraged to do so, but I like to stay right on top of everything. I also realize I'm kinda crazy in that! I guess I'd like to know if she is sincerely as crazy as I am or does she kind of feel like she has to, like it's an unwritten rule to keep us happy. (?) If it is the latter, I don't think she would ever answer that completely honestly, not to us.


@hkwatcher. Thanks again for interviewing these ladies and starting this thread. You're absolutely right. It is refreshing to hear from 'the other side'. :))

Hi watcher!

You wote,"You are 100% correct in your comments about upping your game for your employer, but the difference here is the helper lives with the employer and has 24 hours off in the week." I have yet to meet a helper that has 24 hours off in a week! I meet many helpers. I could tell you some horror stories that know of that have been consistently told me. There is a certain fact that Hong Kong is not a signatory to the International Convention On Human Rights. They do not follow nor participate in International Labor Law Conventions. In fact Hong Kong runs on the system that the English set up post India.

I have a local Hong Kong friend, local Chinese, who does not get a day off, at all, except at Spring Festival. He only gets paid because he is employed as a casual worker.

So it's not just a Domestic Helper problem, it a Chinese cultural problem.

Chinese will expoit any one whom they feel they can exploit and they will do that to any one, even their own kind. For example; On September 1st, 2011 Hong Kong workers got a 5% pay increase taking their minimum hourly pay HKD (NOT USD)$28 but on the very same day domestic rent went up 50% across the board! Then on July 1, 2012 rents went up 50% again! Food costs increase on average of 8% a month!!! That's fresh food and store food. Hong Kong is going through what is termed "hyper inflation" due to the HK$ being pegged to the US$, but also the fact that Hong Kong currency, the paper money, is loaned to the HK Monetary Authority by the banks. This a major cause of inflation. The very same system being used by the US goverment, in fact all but 3 governments, in the whole world!

Now back before the derivatives market bubble burst in 2008 life here was pretty good. Back then most domestic helpers were not being exploited as much as they are now.

I believe there is a direct correlation to the financial crisis the world is going through to labor problems being reported, not only here but across the planet. Back in 2008 I was getting an average of HK$380 an hour working part time as an English teacher. Now I am getting an average of $250 an hour and my total income for the month is more than 50% lower.

I found out last year, through personal experience, that any employee can be instantly dismissed. That happened to me. Not only that but it is the basic labor law here. I found out from the Labor Office. Soon after I was threatend with the cancellation of my Work Visa Status and as result of not knowing the Immigration Law here I propitiated to my employer and made false statements, in writing, to my employer taking full responsibility for events leading up to my dismissal in order that my Work Visa Status would remain valid. I found out, not long after, that my employer could not have my Work Visa cancelled.

Domestic Helpers do not have the rights that I have. I have Right of Abode albeit Work Visa related. I just simply found another Work Visa Sponsor. Since then I have been instantly (summarily) dismissed from about 6 jobs. I have no rights of recourse; zero! But then there is no financial penalty and I am free to find new or replacement jobs. I can stay here with or without a Sponsor and work.

The fact is that there are people who will exploit others more so in these very difficult times, especially in, Asia where face is the utmost paramount of social existence.

People in business here who are being squeezed by their employers or dealing with unpaid credit will take their frustrations out on people who have few or no rights who are dependent upon them. Child and adoloscent suicide here is the highest in the world! That is Chinese culture.

If they have a business they will be exploiting their employees in that business as much as they will exploit their domestic helper, maybe even more so as she lives with them and is not even part of their extended family. But looking at people, local people, in the day to day street world you would not think so. How so? Face!

HSBC was recently found to be laundering money for terroists and drug cartels into and out of the USA. They got a slap on the wrist; no convictions, no one got imprisoned in Guantanomo Bay for aiding and abetting terrorists! But if it was me or you, we'd be there now getting tortured. This sends a big message to the world; if you have big money you can get away with any thing. The more money you have the more you can get away with.

The Hong Kong and world stock markets are going down, they are almost in free fall. Worst ever stock losses in recorded history make the Great Depression look like a walk in the park.

This year, at the end of the Hong Kong Financial year, the Hong Kong goverment had a cash surplus of HKD$3 Trillion!!! Hong Kong had no foreign debt at the time. Internal, yes, to the banks for currency issuance. What is the government doing with all that money??? They are certainly not stimulationg the economy with it!

Some times we have to look at the big picture to see that all is not well, internationally. How would any of us like to be in Spain or Greece now? Or Mali.

well....for 9 years of working here in hk, base on my own experiences....each employer has their own criteria of a good helper, each of them has their own needs...different beliefs, etc....and so goes with the helper too....i had a good, better, best employers...as well as bad and worst one too...


cultures,traditions,moral values,religious beliefs..are the major reasons affecting the employer-employee relationship....so, i can say to have a better understanding and harmony, good working environment for both helpers and employers, both has to adjust and meet in the middle......although i know that employer has much more power in the contract, they have to adjust too and think that what if i am on the same boat of my helper, what if i were on her shoes....something like that....and for the helpers, they should do the same thing..and always think that we come to hk for employment, not to be a slave or maltreated... we can't find the perfect employers, but we can do something for the employer to treat us better....


in the end...i will say if the relationship doesn't really work well, then it is the end of the road...helpers and employers always have a choice....do not sink yourselves emotionally under the sea....remember money is not always the reason why we helpers are here....

yoli_cababao

Your wrote: "remember money is not always the reason why we helpers are here"

I have never met anyone who said they wanted to grow up and be a helper for a family overseas! There may be one out there somewhere, but let's get real here!

Workers are looking for a decent wage and by law HK provides it. They are fairly strict about working conditions compared to other countries, but there is still room for improvement (in all things).

The bigger question is how long does a helper put up with a difficult work environment compared to how long will an employer comtinue with a helper who isn't meeting expectations?There are comments on this forum everyday about helpers, some are good and some not so good. The best thing to say about the whole thing is that at least by law the termination and hiring of helpers is under the Labour law just like it is with any other worker. This isn't true with many other countries. Singapore is very hard on helpers. So is Dubai and yet many thousands of helpers will still go there to work.

thanks hkwatcher..there must be some mistakes with my phrase "money is not always the reason why we helpers are here" literally i agree with you...but there's more than a bigger scope of that phrase.since all of us helpers, during our holidays are always discussing about everything from the philippines to here and even about different countries...and i found out that helpers normally want bigger sum of money that's why they came here to work even they are fully aware of the sacrifices they will encounter from working abroad..but there are also helpers who only work here just to ran away from something in their own place, some just want to catch a guy, some just want to enjoy, so to get the visa and to land here in hk they grab the domestic helper's visa in order to accomplished their personal goals...this is one of the scopes that i want to clarify with my phrase above....there are more broader scope of that and it might be a long and winding road to explain everything...thanks hkwatcher for sparing your time to me....

yoli_cababao makes some extremely relevant points. There are many reasons why any one person takes a job and that includes helpers. I think that his or her assessment that helpers may come for the relatively higher wage, sometimes as a way of getting away from something at home, as a way of looking for a partner who can take them out of poverty....is right on the money. It may feel better to employers to believe that with our salaries that we are supporting some poor disadvantaged person (but that in itself is condescending) but helpers like every one else are complex individuals. One of our family's helper does not need to support her family, she travels with her salary with her boy friend (from the Phillipines) and spends her money on lovely clothes, shoes, a great life. Sure she may not like all aspects of her job but her job does not define who she is - its just a way of paying for a lifestyle that she enjoys.

Agree with lagrue, yoli_cababao has made some very good points here. It is wrong to think that all helpers here do not mind extreme hardwork because they need the money. This is not correct. Good helpers are in demand and the working conditions of employers in Hong Kong vary greatly. I could treat my helper really nice because she's excellent, but at the end of the day, if somebody else wants her and doesn't have three kids, she might consider that offer. Why work terribly hard for a job (even if the employer loves you) when you can do half the work working for another employer who will no doubt love you too if you are good? Even if the easier employer doesn't treat you as nice, well, your job is easier, right?


Hong Kong is no longer considered as the "ideal" working place for helpers nowadays when there are other more appealing countries. Agents are telling employers that they don't have helpers to offer in the past two years. Helpers aren't afraid to tell employers where to go if they are not treated right. I know of friends who's helpers have said, "If you don't like me, you can always terminate me".


yoli is stating the reality of what helpers think by saying "in the end...i will say if the relationship doesn't really work well, then it is the end of the road...helpers and employers always have a choice....do not sink yourselves emotionally under the sea....".

to be fair. Why not listen to BOTH party?

@carynbanker51,

Maybe it depends on how old she is and how long she had been working here in HK. If she has been here for a good number of years and worked for locals most of the time she probably has gotten used to it. You know, not 24hrs off, work before you go AND when you arrive so she may not be feeling comfortable leaving without doing something first. It DOES affect though, how she sees your working attitude and yeah, she's probably thinking that is how you want her to work too. And of course your helper tries to match it to please you. Lucky:) Or she doesn't want to worry abt boarding house fees.

If you notice though that she has lots of friends or is an active church member then she's probably dying to go out on a Saturday night but is too embarassed to admit it. We all want longer rest day so Im pretty sure she'll appreciate the extra hours off.

Thanks for the reply, Dazzle09. Yes, she has friends and family she hangs out with on Sundays and Holidays. I think they "get-out" of work later than she does, because she will just hang around saying she is waiting for them to be free too, to meet up with them.


Yes, she has only had one employer before us; 12 years with a local family. 12 YEARS! So even after 4 1/2 years with us, we still remind her, she can sleep in or leave early on a Sunday, she insists on doing her morning routine before leaving. Sat. night? Fuggedaboudit! She and we are in our 50's, we're all too tired! LOL. She goes in her room early and skypes her family back home, (actually, she does that every night).


Now, as I said, I'm like this too, some people just are. For a harmonious household, we have to at some point, let go and take her at her word and respect her work ethic. She has pride in her work, just as I have pride in mine. (Mine is not a "high" job either).


Kind of touching on the discourse above between Yoli Cababao, Lagrue and AaliahM: I have also worked at many 'grunt' jobs, personal assisting, shopper, go-fer.... when I was younger and jobs that were 'higher' on the totem-pole in later years. I have found that no matter how 'high' or 'low' a job is; no matter how skilled or unskilled, no matter how well or poorly paid; a great bit of job satisfaction comes from having a purpose and being appreciated for one's contribution (as well as a pleasant environment). Yes, of course, Domestic Helpers are here for the money, without it - they wouldn't be here! But I have heard so many times in interviews, candidates say, "I'm happy to take a bit less pay to work with a good family", (i.e.: a good work environment). It doesn't necessarily mean the job with the least amount of work, but something that is do-able and most of all appreciated/acknowledged.


That's my 2-cents worth. :))