Posted by
hortons
19 yrs ago
Hi everyone, a little advice please.
Our first helper started four days ago and she is a gift from God. Seriously we couldn't have pictured a better helper if we'd tried. I won't go on and on about all the hard work she does (in 14 hours each day) but she is outstanding. She has cleaned our place like there's no tomorrow, ironed every single piece of clothing we own and looked after our daughter and baby. I couldn't fault her. She is amazing and anticipates our every need.
How can I say thank you to her at the end of her first week with us? We feel so lucky to have her.
Should we take her out for dinner?
Should I buy her a present? What?
Thanks
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arly
19 yrs ago
Its good news that you are so happy with your helper so far. But why do you feel like you have to treat her after only 1 week? You have to think about the precedent youre setting for yourself. She's not doing the job as a favour - so there's no need to go overboard with the gratitude. Recognition goes a long way, so lots of praise and perhaps a bonus at the end of the month would be more appropraite.
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No need to do anything at the end of the first week. However, you may want to tell her to pace herself better and that you appreciate her hard work. 14 hours of nonstop work is hard. It's easier when you feel appreciated, are better paid, or have some real rest breaks.
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MC
19 yrs ago
Let's be a bit synical here. One week of "good performance" is not that hard. Most people are the same. When we go to work, I am sure that we all work very hard the first week or month. What is hard is long-term. My helper who is very good (with us for 7 yrs) was also "great" the 1st week. 2nd week is different. She is still good just not working 14 hrs a day which she shouldn't anyway. The bottome line is give it more time. If you give a bonus or do something the 1st week, then you are obligated to do more later on.
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I agree with John5023. Our first helper worked so hard and was never happy unless we were sitting on the couch doing nothing. There was nothing we could do for ourselves and she really went overboard. I don't think I walked into the kitchen once the whole time she worked for us. After repeated requests to pace herself and not work so much, I let her go. Her happiness and well-being was truly based on serving us and her ability to be contented alone in her space was nil. We are still in touch and on good terms but she needed to be with a more social-type of family. If you are not asking her to work such long hours and you have clearly communicated this, you shouldn't feel any obligation. If you want to thank her, they are here to make money and money is probably more appreciated than going out to dinner or buying her a gift.
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If any helper is not impressing you in the first week, you are in trouble. If you are happy with her in the first week, think of it as a "standard", not anything above the expected.
One of my helpers have been with us for 3 years now, and until today, I would say not only she worked JUST as hard as the first week that she worked with us, I would say, she's working harder than before.
Don't spoil your helper. Just tell her you are happy with her work. At the end of the probation period (3 months), you can give her a small bonus in cash. Nothing is better than cash for helpers.
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There is no need spoil your helper just treat her nicely with respect and hopefully she gets satisfaction; occasionally small gifts are fine but never a big gift which will allow them to grow to expect more. I hope she will continue to please you and your family.
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Agree with Sarah lee, I think everyone of us are working hard during our few months at work,but you may give her a simple card to say thank you and you appreciate her hard work.
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Is that a gift from your god to you or from her god to you, or some other god? Which specific god do you refer to? Also how do you connect this helper to the act of a god giving her to you? Did you do some special sacred helper prayer or ritual? If so could you share it?
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No sarcasm here, just true questions.
The thing that is surprising is that the full credit is not given to the helper for her having chosen to exercise the honesty, character and ethics she has, to do an excellent job. Instead it must have been the result of divine intervention?
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The "gift from god" reference obviously stirred a debate. Can I rephrase and say "a wonderful worker". Week 2, she is fantastic. I placed a post to firstly ask advice on "thanking" someone and also to dillute some of the negative comments posted on site. My daughter was immediately attached, my son smiles and in turn brings a smile to her face and we appreciate the time is gives us together, alone. What a luxury, what a gift.....
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homer
19 yrs ago
isi... you are not suitable to be "allowed" to hire domestic helpers here, only because you can pay them $3-4000 bucks a month. obviously you have a very negative generalize mistrust and bigotry towards them because of your own experience in the few months.
do the job yourself them, no one is obviously as good as you. or just go home. there is always home where you don't need to be frustrated with domestic helpers.
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TC: At next to no cost is subjective. What is a pittance for you may come dear to me.
Also I do not ask questions about anyone’s religious belief or philosophy as long as they do not introduce the topic. But once a person does then it is as open to discussion as the rest of the post.
I have not introduced my own opinion of gods but rather that there are two perfectly rational and natural explanations for hortons pleasant experience: 1. The employer mad a shrewd choice in hiring a helper. 2. The helper is as, I have stated above, excellent by her own merit. Those things do not require divine intervention and there is no reason that they are not celebrated fully on their own.
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hortons - I would sit down with your helper and have a chat with her. Tell her you think she's had a great first week and she doesn't need to be working 14 hours a day for you! If she's still making your days happier and less stressful in say 3 months then you could give her a performance related bonus. I believe that it is important to have regular reviews with your helper so you can both get any issues you may have off your chest (yes, it does work both ways!) and also just to say you're doing a top job if she is.
Not all helpers are the cause of stress to their employers and I do think that some employers have expectations which are unrealistic or are unable to communicate with their helpers effectively, and, of course there are helpers who aren't so good just like in every walk of working life! Ignore the negativity from Isi and here's hoping that this is the start of a long and happy relationship with your helper (there are plenty of us out there that are glad our helpers are with us!).
As you are new to this when you have clothes, shoes, bags etc. that you no longer want then offer her first refusal - lots of things that you may throw away could be sent back home and not all helpers are comfortable asking if this is ok.
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Well hello Isi... The gift from God is still an absolute treasure. She hasn't faultered, her initiative is enormous, her motivation is high and my kids think she is part of the family. As parents she's given us the time to visit favourite restaurants, grab a quick coffee after work, spend quality moments together and never have to worry that our angels are safe. So, to answer the question..... devine.
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Good for you Hortons!...want to trade? :D
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here again to revive a thread. the gift from god is still as motivated and hard working as ever. she's really become an important part of our family. our son, now 9 months smiles widely at her, our daughter 6 loves playing with her. as parents we cannot thank her enough for the amount of work she does to make our lives so much easier. we gave hera ticket home to the philippines recently just to say thanks. Brilliant!!!
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Same here. I hired the second helper almost 1 year now, and my baby, 9 months also smiles widely seeing her, and she takes really good care of my older one, and the house too. We have two wonderful helpers in the household. We don't take any of it for granted either. I know it's not easy. Hang on to your wonderful helper!
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I got to say we are pretty happy with our newest helper. But it leads me to believe more and more in the luck of the draw. We did the same things with all our helpers and have had about even odds of happy relationships. 2 good 2 bad.
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etnad
18 yrs ago
Domestic helpers don't work hard to expect praises, gifts, raise, or bonuses given to them by their employer after a brilliant work performance. Not at the end of seven days of toiling hard work or even after finishing a two-year contract. Helpers do their work because they know they are being paid for it. Treating domestic helpers like a human being is good enough. Give her her rights, a day-off, decent shelter, decent food, privacy, and a little respect that should be showed to a helper. These simple things would surely make your "god" looking out...smiling.
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ShazP
18 yrs ago
Hortons,
You are indeed lucky to have such an obviously good helper.
Seems like you did hit the jackpot ( seeing you have had her for a few months now). I sincerely hope it continues that way. No harm in a gift sometimes as she has been with you some months now. Wish you all the best....
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mrsl
18 yrs ago
Agree with spare rib. The odd display of gratitude cannot hurt. Sure etnad, we should treat them as human being, surely that goes without saying? Having had a disastrous first attempt at hiring a DH, our second is a real star! I have no qualms about giving the odd token to show that we appreciate her.
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