Posted by
Wee Kean
18 yrs ago
My husband and I go out at least once a week in the evening. Our daughter is always asleep so my helper doesn't need babysitting and can do whatever she wants (usually finishing off housechores) . When we are coming back late, say, after 11pm, my helper will be sitting in the lounge waiting, looking tired. We feel very guilty and thus always try to come back before 11pm but sometimes have no choice - company dinner, etc.
Sometimes we have to go out almost every evening, like before and during Christmas holidays. We are worried that our helper will get too tired. We usually compensate her with half day off during weekdays or Saturdays when we don't need her.
We would like to know, what do your helper do if you are coming back late? Does she sleeps in her room or waits in the lounge until you come back?
Thank you.
Please support our advertisers:
Our helpers have their freedom when they decide to sleep. My kids sleep around 9:00pm, so if we are out for dinner or socializing..... and we get home late, they are either watching TV (which we welcome them to if the kids are asleep), or they are in their rooms. They don't sleep early, but we don't require them to sit and wait up for us. We are not babies! My helpers also listen to the kids when we are not home. When we are home, they will come out and inform us when the kids slept, how much baby ate (milk), and any telephone messages if any. Then they will sleep. (We never come home later than midnight).
When we are away, my helpers sleep in the room next to my kids, and just listen throughout the night if the kids need attention.
BTW, my helpers sometimes iron, or cleaning the kitchen until midnight (if we have guests over)..... it's not a big deal to our helpers as we have good relationships, and at the appropriate time, we will compensate to them with presents, gifts to send home, cash bonus, and air tickets to go home....
Please support our advertisers:
@@
18 yrs ago
We have monitors in both kids rooms so our helper can go off to bed if she wants. We turn the monitors off the moment we come home.
Please support our advertisers:
Be grateful that you have such a wonderful and responsible helper who makes sure you are home before she sleeps.
What if there is a fire in the building and smoke and she can't get to your daughter from her room then what?
come on. Be responsible parents
Please support our advertisers:
TC
18 yrs ago
So 'responsible parents' should also stay up all night on the off-chance there's a fire in the building? That's not being responsible, just unreasonable.
Please support our advertisers:
july8
18 yrs ago
My helper prefers to lay down on the sofa to read or watch tv,and if we are late she takes a nap there.
Please support our advertisers:
Our daughter's room is right next to ours so we can always hear her from our room. Our helper's room is 3 doors away from our daughter's room. She cannot hear her even the door is opened. Monitor doesn't work.
We are very gladful to have our helper staying up and sit/rest/nap in the lounge to wait for us. So we usually compensate her with more rest days/time, presents and "lai see".
Thanks for sharing your views.
Please support our advertisers:
Mag05
18 yrs ago
Wee Kean -- My boss asks me and other staff to work extra hours two-three times a month WITHOUT extra money or day-offs. Nothing's wrong if she waits for you till late. You already give her extra for this, so don't worry. You can also provide her some DVDs to watch while you are away. I am sure she'd appreciate this too.
Please support our advertisers:
cd
18 yrs ago
We told our helper he can go to his room but keep the door open, but he chooses to sleep on the settee until we get in.
Please support our advertisers:
I am not saying that "responsible parents" should stay home all the time with their kids.
Responsible parents would not leave their young kids at home unattended.
You have a maid who shows concern so what is the problem? If you feel guilty for her staying up all night, then why don't you pay her $50 for each hour that she stays up...or you let her sleep late the next day.
YOu can't have it both ways...i.e. you want a maid to pay attention to all the details of keeping your house clean, but then turn round and see her as a burden because she sits up waiting for you.
Why not let her enjoy your living room and watch a video while waiting for you So that she sees your evenings out as a treat for her to relax and be human instead of being confined into the maids room and kitchen
Please support our advertisers:
There are 6 doors between my helper's room and my son's room, 2 doors between his and mine and 3 doors between his room and the front door. My son is a wakeful, wandering 4 year old, more likely to walk out the front door to look for me than navigate his way in the dark to the helper's room. There is no way that she would hear him if she went to bed. So, I'm not comfortable with my helper retiring for the night if we are not home and I, too, feel guilty about the helper needing her rest when we get home after midnight (which is not often).
The way i see it is that the helper is babysitting and therefore on duty - back home I would expect a babysitter to stay up, doze on the sofa, watch TV etc and I expect the same of my helper here if she is babysitting. We compensate our helper with extra time off for any late nights worked (so, eg if she's up babysitting after midnight (maybe once every 2 to 3 months) she takes the following morning off.
Our current helper dozes on the sofa in the living room, our previous helper used to sleep on a fold out futon in my son's room until we got home. I'm happy with either of these alternatives as long as the helper is in a position to act should the need arise.
Please support our advertisers:
I am not missing the point on being a responsible parent.
You can't have it both ways i.e. go out late at night and yet be ungrateful for your helper staying up late.
Yes...I am sure your helper has all emergency numbers, and can hear the baby crying..
but if a fire started out at night from a neighbours house, and she is asleep, it is smoke that kills, not fire. If she is overcome by fumes, how can she get to your child?
I assume that your helper sleeps in maids quarters, so if there is a fire in the kitchen that blocks her, how can she save your child?
I think "mborderform" is correct in her posting above, and I feel the same as he/she does.
No one is saying don't go out, but if you make your responsible helper feel like a burden, then why not just go and hire a 20 year old who will close her door and leave you to it.
Honestly, some people should count their blessings.
Please support our advertisers:
HK2
18 yrs ago
Before we had our baby, my hubby and i used to go out quite late on weekends. Since we've had her, we've happily cut back on our late nights but still have many social functions we need to attend. If we know we're gonna be back by 11-ish, we just ask the helper to keep the parent part of the monitor outside her room and keep her door slighly open so she can hear it. Once we're home, we take the monitor unit and we close her door so she can sleep properly (she's usually half asleep by this point).
If we know we're going to be late - like 12 or later (like NYE when we came home at almost 3 am) - we just request her to sleep in our baby's room so that we don't diisturb her when we come in. Baby usually sleeps through the night so we're secure knowing the helper's where she can hear the baby and the helper can sleep straight from 10 or whatever time she wants till at least 7 - 7:30 am when baby wakes up.
Everyone does things differently. I have friends whose helpers are permanently in the children's room. They have a more hectic and late social life so that works for them.
Please support our advertisers:
You must be logged in to be able to reply.
Login now
Copy Link
Facebook
Gmail
Mail