Helper with bad attitude and always answers back

Ok so another dh vent... I have just renewed my dh second contract. While she does all her work according to my requirements and follows schdules , she is honest and decently hardworking.... She is almost always grumpy n moody n has a sullen face.

I have tried talking to her a million times to ask her if there was something bothering her and she was unhappy she always replies that if i am not happy with her she can find another job.

She does not talk to my husband, does not greet him, only time she has interaction us if she wants to answer back

We pay her above min wages, ànd follow all gov regulations when it comes to dh requirements, gift her occasiinally, christmas red pocket.

But now her bad moods n answering back is really annoying me and my husband, to the point that we are considering finding a new helper.

What is the point of having someone grumpy and rude in our warm home, n bringing the mood down for no valid reason.

Your thoughts ???

Should we look for someone else, n try our luck with soneone brand new n have even worse issues like dishonest, lazy, etc ?

Or shud we suck it up for another 18 months untilknher contract ends

Thanks,

If I were you, I would look for someone else. There is no reason why you and your husband should tolerate this kind of attitude.

Look for someone else fast.... another 18 months are LONG if you have to deal with this...

Was she like this during her first 2 year contract with you and, if so, why did you renew for another 2 years? If she has only recently become grumpy and having a bad attitude towards you and your husband, there must be a reason for it and you both need to speak with her to discuss the problem. Ask her if/why she seems unhappy working for you now and try to find out what's changed, if she wasn't like this previously. Perhaps there's something she's not happy about but feels unable to say. Were you able to give her a raise when you renewed her contract, for example? If not, she may feel disappointed about that and undervalued, especially as you say she does her job well ... or, it could be any number of things. Either way, you need to find out if you want to have a peaceful, harmonious home to live in! It would be a shame to get rid of her when you say you've been happy with her work throughout her first contract ... you could be unlucky with the next one and regret your decision. I'd try to get to the bottom of it first ...

Oh how sad..im a helper i have a friend before who was very lucky to find a very nice and generous employer with light housework ,but then as time goes by she abused that kindness to the extent that she feels she's the boss or the owner of the house.She even slams doors if her employer tell her something she dont like.Im thinking maybe your too kind to her that now shes abusing it.Sometimes eventhough your very kind you should show that your strict sometimes.Strict but kind like my employer now..

HI XTC, are you ready to let her go? If so, i hope my experience will help.


I had the same problem with out current helper, after we signed the 3rd contract, she started acting out and it broke our heart of her sudden change. She was too comfortable according to my spies.


I had a huge dilemma to let her go or not as basic line is, her job is good. She would say the same " if you're unhappy, you can just let me go." BUt, I just could not tolerate the sour face and atmosphere in the house at one point.


So, my husband and "summoned" her ( it really feels terrible to do this) and told her flat, she can find another job by "deadline" and after that, we will terminate her but, A. with this attitude, she will NOT got a recommendation from us. B. If we find out that she is working with someone in our circle, we will tell her next employer the truth why we did not give out recommendation.



After a while, she said that she would like to finish her contract with us. Whatever reason she decided, we loved her so we welcomed her back but, we made it clear that with what she has done to us is way past employer-employee relationship and that she needs to understand her position, not in a way that she has to kneel down sir and madame. Just so we know who runs the house. Also we made an effort to minimize our delegation to her.


We made sure that she has to follow our generic household rules such as always saying "Good Morning!" with a smile no matter how gumpy you are, "I am sorry" when you do a mistake and "Thank you." and have a great laugh at least 2x a day.


I don't know how it will work out, and yes, it is heart breaking and honestly not a nice feeling to have to do the "I am employer-employee" thing but, on occasion, I think it helps balance.

Thank you to each and every one of you for your very valuable insights ! I get great inspiration from xshuequeen , n I think your suggestion may just about work in my circumstances coz I still feel that my helper is a actually a good and even a god fearing person, and she does look after my children well ( which is my highest priority ) considering we are both working parents.

Just wish she had more finesse and gentle mannerism !

But I guess one can't have it all, just hope I have the patience to make it work for the next 18 months.

Thanks guys.... It's nice to have this place to come n chat get get all your valuable comments :)