Posted by
cc77
17 yrs ago
What would you do if your boss done this to you??
My boss asked me to stay on April 4 (my stat holiday). Since I didnt have appointment that time, I agreed. She was happy because she had someone to help her then. Before the end of the month, she told me she wanted to bring me to Disney Land, she had to pay my entrance ($350), lunch etc., etc.. Then she said ' Is it okay if I won't pay your April 4th holiday?' Because you see, I will pay for your entrance etc., etc.' I didn't say even a single word because I didn't feel its right.
My point is, its not my idea to go to Disneyland!!?????
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cc77 - no, of course it is not alright - did she bring you to Disneland to help her with the kids? If so, no, she has to either pay you for Apr 4th or give you a day off on another day - that's what my helpers prefer if we ever (hardly ever tho I must add) ask them to work on a stat holiday. Did you agree to the deal already? If you did, it is kind of hard to go back to your employer now, but for future, no, it is not fair, ask for another day off or pay..
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I think the question is wether you feel you can actually talk to her.
She can't tell you that you are coming to disney and you have to pay. What's next? does she charge you every time they go to a restaurant?
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cc77. It is not right. She needs to pay you. But then again you should have brought it up during the first conversation if she didn't.
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If she's taking you to Disneyland with the kids or getting you to carrying things for her, you'll actually be working and your entrance fee is an expenditure incurred in the course of discharging your duty and she should pay for it and not use it to offset your holiday pay. Even if you are just being sent to Disneyland for a day of fun on your own with the entrance fee being paid for by your employer, you don't have to accept it if you don't want to. You can tell her very nicely that you need money and you would preferred to be paid cash for the day's work. Even if you had said nothing when the idea was first put to you or you had even agreed, I think you can still go back to her and explain her nicely that you had thought about it and would prefer to be paid instead of being treated to Disneyland.
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Actually Peggie Wong that is true. She must give you a day off within a certain period, I believe 30 days. To even contemplate saying a payment into Disneyland suffices is beyond belief.
Mind you does remind me of the case where someone sent their helper with an aged relative to dim sum and then took $10 a week from the helpers salary to pay for it! This is the mentality people have to deal with!
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Jctom
17 yrs ago
cc77, i agree with Peggie Wong. Good luck.
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cc77
17 yrs ago
Yes ldsllvn, she brought me to Disneyland to help her with the kids. Actually, the original arrangement was this: No holiday on 4th April, had to take it on 12th May(not my stat holiday) but then I had to go on my own and not to Disneyland with them. Though I was feeling a lil bit annoyed because I had no one to associate with, 12th May isn't for DH, I agreed. But then, 2 days before, she asked me to accompany her to Disney since she would be alone with her kids. She gave me money for the entrance fee and thats what happened.
The time she asked me if I want to go to Disney, I told her in a nice way that I prefer not to because the entrance fee is already a fortune for us,DH. I would prefer to stay home for another extra pay than my own pleasure. When she offered me to bring there, nothing came out of her mouth but the word 'expensive'. lol ....she said she has to book for a hotel room for me, lunch, ticket...etc.etc I mean, I'm not sure if she was just making an excuse not to pay my stat holiday. What if she brings me to another country then? Would I be paying for the air ticket? lol
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messy situation, not sure you can change anything now, just be more specific next time - if we asks you to work on your day off - say:" Would you prefer to pay me for it or shall I take it off on another day? When can I take it off?". I am so sorry this things happen, I do understand how precious days off are for DHs (well for all of us who work really..). Good luck next time, I am just afraid that now there is not much you can do about your current situation...
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You need to be strong with your employer and tell her that she cannot count a day working no matter where it is as payment for the day off you missed. explain that you said at the time you didn't want to go to Disneyland and it was her choice to take you to help out so is work not leisure and the cost incurred is not your responsibility. If you don't sort this out then there will be problems in future.
Good luck, be polite but stand your ground.
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CC, there is no question that you know what is our right as DH. From your previous thread I could say you are smart too (in every way) . You know that this is not right and you should stand your ground. We do not need people to re-affirm what we know is right all the time. Because a good helper/worker/nanny has to be decisive.
A good person, however knows that no matter what his/her wok is we always have at least three options when it comes to deal with work problems. ( extreme cases not included)
1. Stand your ground and face the consequences and fell good that you did.
2. Suck it all in and make the most of the situation, find a happy corner ( even the lousiest of job got one) to make thing bearable ( in your part..your good relationship with your ward) and think that this bad situation resulted to a pay envelope every month.
3. Keep yapping about it all the time.
Option three is not recommended for it gives prospective employers a " I am a victim " attitude which, could be a minus to a helper's side. And also, personally, I think this is an unnecessary stress we tend to bring to ourselves.
just my few cents from someone who has been there and learned how to speak up ...no offense intended.
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cc77
17 yrs ago
Thanks for your reply souffleQueen . I agreed with the 2 options that you mentioned. Anyway, option 2 is actually the normal reaction we, helpers do when facing difficulties/problems in our jobs. For us, what matters most is the salary at the end of the month.However, being quiet all the time leads to what we call 'abuse' of some sort. Some employers, are not aware (or just play innocent) that their helpers aren't happy with the arrangements they make (helpers tend to just say 'yes mam'/it's okay mam) though deep inside they don't mean it. Why? well, out of consideration and/or to avoid argument over 'simple things'.Simply because they don't want to take the risk of losing their job. Option 1 however happens usually in some major cases ,say maltreatments or underpay or sexual abuse. Anyway thats why I'm also here in the forum hehe....I'm actually, as you've said, sucking it all in and waiting for my salary for this month. Expressing my feelings here and read some of the advises/feedbacks makes me feel encouraged. At least I know where to stand in due time.
Anyway thanks for the advices everyone.
Cheers :)
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