Posted by
hoffy1976
12 yrs ago
Really bit at a loss to how to approach this. My husband came home early while I was out to find my helper pouring our Absolut Vodka into her noodles! She simply said she added it for flavor, like Mam. Now to clarify I add wine to some dishes as you do. Now, firstly, she has never asked, secondly, vodka has no flavor and thirdly I have a toddler, of which she does on occasion have sole charge of. Now, I have a problem with her using it without asking but also that it is strong and I have No idea how much she is using. To be honest we have a selection of spirits and I have no idea how much was in each bottle. Now, when I say something I am sure she will apologize and say she did not realize the difference between wine and vodka and that she will not do it again. I have never seen her drink, nor is she a party girl. But what if she is drinking? Thoughts on how to approach really appreciated. Like most help, she has been very loyal and hard working during her time with us, but my families safety is of greater concern.
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FIFIB
12 yrs ago
what kind of answer is that?
Just tell her she cannot help herself with any of the wines and spirits you have at home and she cannot either buy from her own pocket to consume during working hours.
Wine is for cooking and usually in the recipes you have to cook the sauce etc for 1 hour or so to let the wine evaporate. We don't just poor a bit directly on the dish ready to eat.
Pay attention at the levels in your bottles and check every once in a while.
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You have answered your concern. read your message.
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FIFIB
12 yrs ago
And again why the OP should go an spend money on a locked liquour cabinet when prior to this she didn't need to have one? If I tell my helper she cannot help herself with wines and spirits that's it, she cannot.
You mean if you suspect your helpers is helping herself with few bill notes here and there you will go an buy a safety box?
We have a wine cabinet but is not locked, I can not even imagine myself hidding the key from my helper.
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Having very recently become a daddy, having lived and worked in the Philippines for over 6 years, and married to a Filipina woman, I have the following comments;
1) Does ANYONE here think it's acceptable behavior, for a DH (particularly one who is tasked to take care of children) to be "drinking on the job"...no matter what amount of alcolhol ? I would be seriously concerned that this might impair the DH's physical and/or mental judgement ??
You may want to check with Hong Kong Immigration and verify whether or not there is any language in the the employment regulations/guidelines for FDH's, stipulating whether such act consitutes unacceptable behavior, which may warrant issuance of a formal warning or even grounds for immediate termination with cause.
2) White spirits (including vodkas and gins - Ginebra, being a top selling gin in the Philippines, manufactured and sold, I believe, under the umbrella of San Miguel) are widely sold in the Phillippines and thus acknowledged as a hard alcohol...quite different than a spot of wine !!
The fact that she is adding "Vodka" to her noodles is highly bizarre, and something I never encountered in my years of living in the Phillippines. Filipinos are quite addicted to adding flavorings to their food, yes...."Maggi" seasoning in the Philippines being one example.
Sorry if my comments seem a bit harsh.....maybe it's just "new daddy" syndrome !!
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FIFIB
12 yrs ago
In a very hot day I don't think I am allowed to have a beer or 2 during working ours. I have plenty of biz lunches and have never ordered a drink, don't see why my helper will need one.
In a very hot day we turn on the ac and that's it. Even me working part time I don't get home to have a beer, with the heat and the alcohol I might get sleepy and would like to take a nap.
Some people in this forum are giving advices that are really bizarre.
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FIFIB
12 yrs ago
Why is so hard to admit that you are just talking nonsense? I why do you have to use capital letters? I can read lower-case with no problem.
And yes you first advice totally non-sense? So the OP is supposed to talk to the helper and then to show her proof of how much she trusts her, the op should buy a wine cabinet and lock it?
This forum is to give advise, why do we care to know to your preferences?
If it is your preference or choice to let your helper have a beer, sleep with her husband in your room, on summer time sleep with your kids and husband on the same room to save electricity on the a/c, why are you telling us this things? Just to show how cool you are? Or you want to influence people with all this show off?
And yes everyone has different rules, I know people that let the kids choose at what time they want to eat, and what they will eat, where they will eat but honestly some nonsense stuff its better to keep to oneself.
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FIFIB
12 yrs ago
If someone posts: I saw my helper stealing my jewelry would you advise to buy a safety box and lock it?
The point here is: the helper was caught using vodka for her food so if the OP does not have a wine cabinet I don't see the need to buy one.
Either I trust the helper she will do as I ask her or she won't. If my answer is the second one then I should let her go.
And again, if she buys the wine cabinet to lock the wine then the op needs to hide the key, who hides wine cabinet's keys in their house?
Only if you suspect your teenager is taking wine bottles from the cabinet but that is entirely another issue.
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FIFIB
12 yrs ago
no answer the question: if someone posts they saw the helper stealing jewelry would you advince them to go an buy a safetybox? You will advice to call the police etc
Vodka is different and yes I will give her the benefit of the doubt but still after some period of time I would go and check, what's wrong with that?
Don't you think it would hurt the helpers feelings if after I tell her I do not want you to drink while working and here to make sure you don't do it I am locking it?
And yes if I check the bottles every once in a while what's wrong with that? It is not like I am going to say: Hello everybody time to check the bottle levels, bring me the ruler and you sit there to declare you guilty or innocent! hahahah
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FIFIB
12 yrs ago
So on top that you cannot admit you gave nonsense advice now you make things up.
In no where I said if I though the helper..... show me where I put such example.
And you don't need to mark bottles, what can it be so hard, the bottle was half full now is 1/3.
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FIFIB, you are deliberately attacking another poster who is giving advice. If you don't agree with the advice, just say so and move on. Calling someone else's advice "nonsense" is rather offensive. Cara is often very blunt but heck, she is is a straight talking honest woman with strong opinions. If you disagree, please answer with specifics and without offensive language or ad hominem attacks. We're all friends here.
For the record, I think that:
- Get to know your helper beyond "Ma'am" and "Sir".
- Trust your helper. To a point.
- If you catch your helper doing something untoward, have a long, serious talk with her about it.
- A lockable liquor cabinet, just like a safe, are perfectly reasonable things to have.
- Marking one bottle is one thing. If you have 10-15 bottles of hard liquor (we do) it is kinda hard to remember the level on each one.
- If a helper is drinking "off duty", that is her business. If she is unfit for duty due to being tipsy or drunk (or tired), that is a bad thing. If our helper has a beer on duty, no big deal. If you helper has a few shots on duty, very big deal. Heck, we've often given a bottle of wine or two to our helper for her get-togethers with the other helpers in the building.
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A lockable liquor cabinet would also stop the kids accidentally breaking bottles etc, might not be a bad idea.
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