what does this mean?



ORIGINAL POST
Posted by Hyperactivebunny 17 yrs ago
our helper has been with us for 1 yr 7 mths now. we treat her v well....she travels with us on all our holidays. however she asked me abt her annual leave and i told her that she can travel when her contract ends and come back in time for new contract. however she turned around and told me 'm'am im not sure of my plans and if i will sign again'. i was a bit shocked and and asked her if she was unhappy here to which she replied shes v happy but has not thought so far. i told her in that case she should gv me enough notice cos it tks so long to hire new helper nw and i hv 2 kids. my husb and i both work so cannot afford to not hv anyone. she said its too early and will decide later. what do i do abt this? what am i to make out of it? should i start interviewing? looking fr new one? pls help! quite upset abt the whole thing as we hv paid her 4000k and was going to gv her 4500k when she renewed. but to keep me in the dark. i feel she should be honest abt it. either she wants to renew or not. how can she not know. pls help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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COMMENTS
kellieja 17 yrs ago
Think she's playing cat and mouse with you. Knows you want to renew so will use it as a bargaining position. Suppose we all do it in different ways with our employers at salary review time! But yes it is unsettling but it may prove difficult to get a categoric answer out of her for a while in which case you'll have to either agree new terms with her now and hope she keeps her end of the bargain or tell her you'll be letting her go and find someone else. Tough decision good luck.

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Katetam 17 yrs ago
Well, I wouldn't take it too personally at this point. There are MANY reasons why a DH althought very happy in your household may not renew again. Her family? Her plans to go to another city ? Her chlidren (if any), her health? The list goes on.Maybe she wants to go home before her contract ends, something going on at home?


Ask her again two months from the end of the contract because it's actually 1 month notice, but if she's renewing with you, you can begin on the first day of the last month when it's finishing..... so you could ask her.


Nothing you can do about it. my suggestion is go on everyday as usual, and wait for her decision.


perhaps you can also ask her if there were any issues or concerns regarding her work that might be a ?? for her renewal. Although, she's not obligated to tell you either.


Don't worry too much for now. Otherwise, your pressure and emotions may turn her away for good if this is one DH you want to keep.


I think you should be glad she was honest about it. She can always tell you " I am renewing" and then on the last month, "Ma'am, I changed my mind!" That would be worse!


Just my opinion.



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Moppet 17 yrs ago
I would ask again with three months to go and if she were still unwilling to make a commitment then I would start to interview for a new helper.

I’m sure it’s nothing personal and like Katetam said there are a 100 good reasons why she might be unsure of making a another 2 year commitment including of course that she might be testing the water for a better deal.

I hope it all works out well for you

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dotty1 17 yrs ago
I agree with Moppett and at the same time, just gently remind her that it will take some time for you to find another helper so that you need her answer as early as possible.


I understand that she may have her reasons for not being able to committ just yet, but you also have your reasons for needing notice and consistency and someone to assist you. So if it does not work out better for you to protect your own interest and let her know that you will start interviewing in 3 months if she cannot renew.


That is a tough one. Hope it works out for you.

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masked_admirer 17 yrs ago
This could be a negotiation tactic by your helper or she could be shopping around for a situation, which offcourse she has a right to, but equally you have a right to protect your interests. In your situation, I would definitley keep an active look-out for suitable helpers.


Personally, I suspect she has soemthing else in mind becasue if it was just a long time-frame issue she could have said that she is happy and has no reason not to renew but 5 months is too long for her to plan for or would have offered to think about renewal and discuss in say a month's time.


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kellieja 17 yrs ago
From what I've been hearing helpers who are 'in demand' can currently virtually pick and choose who they work for and to a certain extent have a salary expectation (especially when working for expats). Some helpers are snapped up within hours and others have up to 10 interviews lined up with prospective employers. I suppose we are all chasing those with great references. My point is maybe your helper has heard about this on the grapevine so is holding back to see if she can benefit by moving to another employer? I think you need to sit down and try and have an open, frank conversation with her and take it from there. Hope it goes well.

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joeyclaris7 17 yrs ago
something personal happened in her life maybe. Perhaps youve got to ask what's bothering her. Usually its about her "home issues".

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Hyperactivebunny 17 yrs ago
hey there all. thnk u for yr replies. i think i will just wait till we rtn after our summer holiday and then hv a talk with her. i know for a fact its not her home issues cos shes young,not married and NOT attached to her family. she calls home like once a mth and tells me she does not like to call cos all they do is ask for money. and she wants to save money to open a small bakery in her home town. thus she told me she sends like 1000 every 3 mths!!! i hv a feeling it may be her influence. cos she has cousins here..

1 married to her expat american employer and lives the life!! 2nd works for a family who are hardly ever in hkg.therefore she on permanant holiday and constatnly hving parties in their premises and basically very free!! i hv a feeling its them that r influencing her teling her she can find better job with more money and less work. not sure how much she will blv them. cos we hired her from the phili and this is her first job.i know the cousin that is free in the beginning when we hired her every week would invite her mid week to their home for 'dinner party'. i had to put my foot down and say no cos the time i did let her go she came home at 1.30 in the morn and could not function the next day. so since then i told her she can attend parties on the weekend or on her day off. not during the week.

anyways lets see how this goes. will keep u all posted.

thnx.


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RQ Blanco 17 yrs ago
hello hyperactivebunny,


i can't give you comments nor inputs on your current situation however the only help i could extned is to recommend a possible replacement. i have a friend who is a teacher by profession major in elementary education. i presume she could fit well in child rearing plus the fact she can somehow create a classroom learning environmemt right inside your own home. i really hope you can consider this notion. you can contract me at (+852)61428614 should you consider above. thanks.

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fro314g 17 yrs ago
you don't give her paid leave? ie she ONLY gets vacation when her contract is up? wow.

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