Posted by
enquirer
20 yrs ago
Hi
I interviewed this girl last week for a job as a helper. She seemed really nice at the time, extremely polite, quiet, etc. We decided to go ahead with her. We checked with her regarding the things that were important to us one of which was taking a day off on a day other than Sunday. She was agreeable to everything. We put in her application on Friday. I found a huge change in her attitude from Friday itself. She doesn't seem to be the same person we had interviewed. She came to see us yesterday to return the documents & I found her to be this interfering, opinionated person who was asking questions about everything under the sun & passing comments on a conversation that I happened to have on the phone with my husband. I couldn't believe that she was 1st of all listening to what I was saying to him or 2ndly passing comments about it without being asked anything. She has today called and said that she will be taking her day off on Sundays as other days are not suitable for her.
I have warning bells ringing all over & I'm not sure whether I should continue with her or not.
Does anyone know whther I can stop the processing of her documents cos I'm not sure I can live with a person that wants to know every minute detail about me, my family, my parents, siblings, in-laws etc. etc etc.!!!!
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Of course dont employ her!! Did you hand in the application yourself in person or she did it? If you called up the Immigration Department they will tell you the procedure on how to stop.
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The agency did it I think - apparently she spent the whole of Friday at the counsalate, the immigration & the agency. I haven't paid anything to the agency as yet. Her visa was supposed to expire tomorow - but now she has got an extension until the 18th, when she has to go back with a few other documents and the payment for the levy. I'm not sure if I have to pay the agency the full amount or anything at all, but this girl seems to have done a total 180 degree turn after she got the extension, I didnt think she had a voice before the visa was granted, all of a sudden she seems to be the most inquisitive person I've ever met!!! She wanted to know a whole lot of personal stuff in the short while that she was around. And I don't think it was just plain curiosity or just something to say by way of conversation!!!
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I completely agree with you kags - but really listening into phone conversations & then passing comments about them was a bit too much for me. Also the fact that before I processed her papers, everything was acceptable so what could have possibly happened in two days for her to say that she cannot work on Sundays - I did mention this to her upfront in the first interview & she was absolutely fine with it. Don't know what else will be unacceptable once the contract is in place!! I think you wrote exactly what I was thinking - I'm going to go with my gut feel & not employ her. I think I'll call immigration department tomorrow morning & ask them how I should go about it.
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I heard that either party of the domestic helper contract can back out within 3 weeks of it been processed. You could consult with the immigration dept. They are quite helpful. Good luck.
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enquirer,
Trust your instincts; you are right about those being red flags! If this helper is being domineering already, you could have big problems when she moves in. When I hired my helper, I was desperate to have help, and overlooked the red flags (she was an hour late to the interview and had stay through the whole interview, didn't call or show up the following Sundays as promised, didn't interact with my children) and now I will have to go through the termination process.
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Sorry, meant to say she had a friend stay with her through the interview
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I think I'm too tired to write right now! What I was trying to say, is because I ignored the red flags, and hired someone out of desperation and because she was charming, I overlooked serious flaws, which have now become glaring problems. She has turned out to be completely unreliable.
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Thanks for the advise Amyvalentine. The thing is that I'm highly confused about what I should do. She seems to be fine in every other way. The kids really like her. We have had her come for a trial and her work seems quite alright. So I'm not sure if I should overlook the other problems. From the number of other helpers I have interviewed I'm not sure which is better "the devil or the deep sea!!!". I'm not sure I will get the perfect helper in HK anyway, so should I compromise with this one - I'm not sure what to do.
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Well, you do have a point: no one is perfect! Were you able to talk to her previous employer? I recently interviewed someone who seemed perfect, and came highly recommended by friends who knew her, but when I talked to her employer, I discovered several problems.
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I did talk to the previous employer who said she was fine. I think I might call him again to check what were the negatives. She must have some n if he says none then you know what that means!!!
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That sounds like a good idea to talk to the employer again; this is your chance to ask all your questions. Maybe in the interview she wanted to be agreeable, then thought about it (or talked to her friends!) and changed her mind. Then when she came with the documents, she may have been nervous, and came across as too demanding? Still, if you feel annoyed by her already, just think how it will be when you live with her!
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Yup. Thats what I'm gonna do - talk to her employer as well as talk to the immigration authorities as to what my rights are - can I cancel the contract etc. I guess I'm worried about how it would be like to live with her, but to be honest I have interviewed sooo... many people she seems to be the only one who I can at least try, the others just are SCARY!!!
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Now you're scaring me! How many have you interviewed? Where did you find them? I'm trying to decide whether to hire the helper I interviewed and just deal with her problems since she is still highly recommended!
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I think I have interviewed at least 50 or there abouts. I found quite a few on this website - they are the scariest!!! I also interviewed a large number from agencies. I even went to 3 agencies in Central on a Sunday n interviewed the ones standing there waiting for suckers like us to employ them. Mind you I did interview a couple of nice ones, or at least they seemed nice at the time, but they had to go back beacuse their contract had been terminated & with 2 kids in the house and me being new to HK I didnt really want to wait 6 weeks for them. But the funny thing is that I started this process 4 weeks ago & I have had no luck except I thought until now!!!
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BTW did you want the names of any agencies? I have seen maids from Emrys & another one is Maid-Enly - there is a lady called Anabel at Enly n she seems quite nice n helpful, I have only spoken to her on the phone n never met her. They always send the helper over to my place for interviews at my convenience - she has even sent them at 8pm. Let me know if u need her no.
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I had a similar experience in the fall when we moved here. I interviewed about 20 helpers, and did finally hire someone a few months ago, after a couple months of searching, but she's given me lots of stress, despite having a good recommendation. (I wish I had asked more questions!) Now that I've been longer, friends are recommending helpers (friends of their helpers etc) but it is still difficult to know, plus these women are being terminated or quitting, so they will have to go home to process.
But you're right, if you find someone good, it could be worth waiting 6 or 8 weeks for them to process-or you may spend that long searching and wearing yourself out! Ironically, I have friends who ended up hiring their helper sight unseen from Singapore, and she has worked out wonderfully. Sometimes, it comes down to luck.
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Thanks for the names of the agencies! Since you have talked to so very many candidates, and you don't have a helper yet, maybe it is worth trying out this one that you liked initially? I don't know if it's possible since she may be running out of time after obtaining the extension on her Visa. I have to say that it does not seem normal to me that she would be asking questions about your private conversations, but on the other hand, this lady seems the best of 50 candidates!
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Actually its funny you mention Singapore cos we only moved to HK from sunny Singapore at the begining of JAn. We spent 8 yrs there n tell you what never even heard of the stuff that seems to be happening here. I was just speaking to a friend in S'pore yesterday n she suggested I do exactly that - get a helper from there. I'm thinking of that option as well. AS for the one I have currently signed the papers for, I'm thinking of having a chat with her 2moro - telling her that she cant just decide to do whatever she feels like - if the Sunday thing is unacceptable, then she can look for another employer cos she already has a visa extension for 2 weeks.
BTW if you want you can have a look at www.jobuzz.com - this is the website of a co. in S'pore n they have heaps of maids - they can arrange for them to come to HK. I actually used this agency along with a no. of my friends to get our helpers in S'pore
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One more word of advice, and then I must get some beauty (ha ha) sleep: don't hire someone too young. We did, and she stays out on work nights and can't stay awake during the day.
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I wrote my last reply and then read yours! That's interesting about Singapore...I should look into your suggestion. I have heard that the helpers there are thrilled to come here. At least you have experience with helpers...I am new at this and it has been quite a learning experience. We have 2 children also, and so the helper has to be able to get along well with them-even if I'm there too.
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I forgot to say that you're right, your helper reneged on the agreement she made with you when she signed the contract.
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Dear inqirer, I have the same situation with your few months ago. I have a maid and she did perpectly at the first time whenwe have interview. We gave her saturday and sunday holiday. And now we have more work, then she turn arround that she doesn't want to have holiday in ordinary day. Then our family very up set about that. But now I got another Indonesian girl to be our maid, and she will do whatever we say to her and we gave her tuesday holiday. and she was very happy person, and our family happy too. If I were you just send the letter to immigration department to inform them that you want to cancell your application with your current maid, or you may call to immigration department. If this is really urgent you can go to 6/F of immigration department and tell them your cancellation. Then the immgiration will do your cancellation the day as you cancel your application. If you need another maid, I recommend to you call to 2895 2233, that agencies may help you out with your problem. Good luck.
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For those who are interested, I did make the decision to withdraw my application for the helper. I can't say how glad I am that I have now done it. I spoke to the immigration authorities this morning who said that we can send in a letter by fax or post anytime before the visa is actually granted in order to withdraw the application - there are no charges involved. The only charge that I will be up for is $200 for the authentication of the contract which was already done at the counsulate on Friday. Well guess what, the dear lady says I never mentioned to her that she can't have Sundays off & needs to come back early on her days off. She even called up the agency while she was at my place & was absolutely yelling at the agent saying none of this was told to her. Am I glad I trusted my instincts!!!
I was reading on another thread something that blcwc posted, that we expats dont know how to treat our helpers - we treat them too nice and in return we dont get back niceness, but they try to take advantage of us. I fully agree that we should learn from our Chinese counterparts & keep our helpers on a tight leash & maybe then we'd get some respect out of them!!!
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blcwc
20 yrs ago
Hi enquirer,
I'm sorry to hear that you've already faced helper problems before she could even start work. I myself am a bitter and harderned employer, but am still finding it extremely difficult to "control" my helper the way my local colleagues do. It's easier said than done, but I'm certainly learning a lot along the way. I hope you can find a better helper soon. Good luck!
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