daily requirements

Hi, since I am new to the concept of keeping a domestic helper I was wondering if someone could tell me what I am supposed to provide her with apart from the salary, food and bedding.


For example, do I have to provide soap, toothpaste, brush, hair oil, shampoo. Do they wash their clothes everyday cause she takes almost 1 hr everyday in her bath and washing clothes. Initially I asked if she would like to use washing machine but she said that she could wash her own. I thought that would be good since she wanted to but somehow I seem to be regretting my decision. Is it ok to change decisions? Most importantly plsss let me know what I am supposed to provide cause I am in a dilemma.


What I hate the most is she has a bad eye for our food despite the fact that I have permitted her to have what she wants when she wants. My baby has not completed her lunch but she is ever ready to finish it for her.

All we supply our helper is bedding, towels and toilet paper. We give her $500 a month food allowance. She uses the washing machine to do her clothes etc and uses the household powder, a couple of times a week. She also has her own plates, dishes, glass, rice cooker etc, although this is her own choice as she's perfectly free to use whats in the kitchen. In fact I'd rather she did, as she keeps all hers in her bedroom which is so tiny it really doesn't need all that extra unneccessary stuff. Maybe she just likes having her own things. But back to your helper, if she wants to spend an hour a day washing clothes etc make sure she does it in her own time, like the evenings, not during the day when you need her. And yes it is OK to change decisions, just say that you have thought about it, and that the present system isn't working.

thanks

In the contract I have check marked the toilet and bathing facilities cause it is essential. But she seems quite choosy about shampoos and soaps. Hey I am quite used to buying the good deals. She is testing my patience.

Is this a new domestic helper? How long have you had her? It sounds to me like she's 'testing you out', i.e. seeing how soft you are and exactly how much of her own way you'll let her have.


In my view, it's so important to be strict and firm at the beginning of the relationship with one's helper. You can always soften up later. Now is the time to be decisive and firm.


If I were you, I'd not give the DH any toiletries - tell her to buy them herself out of her own salary. It seems like you're giving her stuff and instead of being grateful for these extras she's coming back to you with even more picky demands. Sounds like bad news to me.


Nip these bad habits in the bud, Aquagul. A stitch in time saves nine, etc etc.

Thanks a ton guys! Last night I explained to her that she would have to get her own things and that if I give it is my wish and that I am not obliged to give her. I said it as gently as I could. I think she got the point.


Since we are at it can u please tell me does your helper wash her clothes everyday and does it take so long. She is a first timer in HOng Kong and I am also new to this experience.

About washing clothes, I think she's doing this because you haven't told her otherwise.


With my helper, I set up a day upon which she is welcome to use the washing machine. If she wants to wash anything on another day, she should do it in her free time (i.e. after she has gone 'off duty').


Some helpers may not immediately take up your offer of using the washing machine because some employers don't actually allow their DH to use it for their own stuff.


What you need to do is insist or at least communicate that she should wash stuff by hand when she's off duty. She needs to understand that you're paying for her time and she should be spending it working for you, not pottering around doing her own stuff.


Ideally, give her a time when she comes on duty (e.g. 7am or whatever) and a time when she can go off duty IF every thing is finished. I also give my helper a lunch break.


Another thing I found (I'd love to know whether others have experienced this) is that some helpers seem to be afraid of being 'caught' doing nothing. Like my helper would kill time ironing stuff in super slow motion so that I'd never find her doing nothing / resting.


I solved this by explaining that SO LONG AS all her work was done, and done properly, she was welcome to take a rest. And I taught her to knit. Which is what she now does if she's finished her work. But it took her a long while to accept that she wasn't expected to work non-stop from the minute she woke up to the minute she went to bed. (Very sad, I think, that she should have thought that. I wonder where she got that idea from?)

Thanks everybody. I guess I have a lot of straightening up to do. My mistake I got too nice in the beginning. I went to the limit of giving a formal dress thinking she had nothing for church. She gave the impression that she had nothing. But after she moved inside the house a week ago I realised that she is more than willing to clean up all the cupboards, which I appreciate. But in the process doesnot hesitate in asking where I bought it from cause she wants something similar.


I know it is not right of me but I am compelled to say Harbour city for everything. The last thing I want is both of us wearing espirit clothes.

You might think they have nothing but they soon accumulate it, my helper came to us with one small suitcase, she now has more shoes than me, a bulging wardrobe, and stuff everywhere. Shes brought a tv, ricecooker etc. You'd be amazed what she can fit in a 6x6 room.