Posted by
Josie Jump
18 yrs ago
I am not sure what to make of this as I haven't actually caught my maid out but today I saw her eyeing on my handbag as she was putting the spare quilt on my bed. I know for sure she was staring my bag as her head was turned towards where it was lying on the floor. There was nothing else around the area she was looking at. Usually I would take my handbag to my room before i go to bed but today I left my handbag on a chair in my room after my afternoon outing. Well this evening, I noticed the lights were on in each room and it was very quiet so I went to look for her to ask her why all the lights were switched on and found her in my room. She said she was putting away some towels. After she left my room, I noticed she had placed my shopping bags on the chair next to my handbag. What arouse my suspicion was that she never places my shopping bags on that chair but leave them on the floor until the next day when she tidies up. I have a feeling she deliberately placed those shopping bags there on purpose so as to hide the fact she had gone through/moved my handbag from its original place. I checked my handbag straight away and everything as far as I know is intact. If I confront her about my suspicion, she will deny it outright and then start making me feel guilty that I'm blaming her for something which she claimed she hasn't done like she always does.
I'm not very good at confrontation so not sure how to tackle this as I am not 100% sure if she did go through my bag. I have a lot of trust issues with her as she has been stealing from us but we have given her a second chance as the amount was not significant.
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TC
18 yrs ago
If you have proof then you should confront her else it will never get any better - only worse (her stealing and your own peace of mind). If you don't have proof then you will be treading a thin line, and maybe need to look for reasons to terminate her legally. It's hard enough having a total stranger living in your house, but when you don't trust that stranger then it's impossible.
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wibb
18 yrs ago
stealing is stealing, regardless of the amount. Regardless of whether she went through your stuff, or how little the amount she stole from you, if you can't trust her, you should let her go.
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I suggest you alert the CIA because she might be a terrorist. That way you can have her flown to Egypt for torture where they will make her confess to looking at your bag. Once you have this iron clad confession you should go down to the police station and lay a charge, both civil and criminal against her as this is a serious offence. Don't be put off by the police laughing at you. You have every right to be concerned. This woman might have even touched your bag! Who knows! Next thing she might be guilty of moving a perfume bottle. I don't know how you live with such stress. Domestic helper should never be allowed to look at things like handbag. It disrupts the social order of the universe.
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2468, she was being sarcastic! Her point is that the DH has not actually done anything wrong.
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WORSE? WORSE? God forbid she might just think the handbag is cool and just enjoy looking at it.
Is it just me or are people here REALLY paranoid. I mean I wouldn't notice if my helper was looking at my handbag. In fact she goes in and out of my bag on a daily basis because sometimes I forget to pack my keys or my glasses or my octopus and credit cards, and she makes sure I have them. And the only thing "missing" has been the 20c pieces, which I know she collects and I don't mind her collecting.
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inkonkini, we have a fantastic new helper and I already trust her implicitly. During her thorough cleaning, she has come across credit cards and cash that me children have hidden in various parts of the house. I keep my bag and my husband keeps his wallet about 3 feet from her room overnight, with no concerns while we sleep 2 floors above. The difference between our situation and Josie Jump's is that our helper has never stolen from us before. I guess if she had, I would be a bit paranoid.
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Dora...the maid hasn't stolen from her. Read her post again. It's all suspicion about looking at her handbag.
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read again, inkonkoni. the maid HAD stolen from her before and she has given her a second chance. i think i will be paranoid too if the maid has stolen from me before.
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Thanks, insane.
Mother, my bad. I missed that little gem. I wonder what an "insignificant amount" amounts to? My sister would fire a helper if she took a glass of coke. I'm more like...don't bug me by asking about coke...just don't help yourself to you fillet without running it past me.
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It is fair to have reasonable suspicion over her moves since you have lost your trust on her. One of my previous helpers (terminated due to unauthorised use of IDD) left our home and forgot to bring many of "our treasure" back to Indonesia, some were hidden in behind her wardrobe - was later discovered by my present helper. Cash in my drawer disappeared. (FYI, never checked her room). I did not confront her then. I choose to blame myself for misplacing my belongings than her. It's hard for us to monitor them or try to lock up everything, if they are so desperate to do it, they will whenever you are not around.
You won't rest easy unless you tell yourself how lucky we are to have someone taking advantage of us than be that liar, and it proves our existence too.
My advice: Don't confront your helper about your suspicion. It would just make the matter worse. If her moves really bother you, give her one month notice- tell her to go. Your relationship with her that month would be the worst but just forget about the past and look forward to a better helper.
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agree with jessie. well said.
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Yes, i also agree with Jessie but maybe just let her go and pay her one months termination. Its so sad as i know many of these girls have sad stories BUT stealing is unacceptable no matter what the amount. This person lives in your house and has access all areas, so you deinately need someone you trust and that you can leave alone in your house whether just for a day or a week. Good luck.
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