Domestic Helper Vs Employers! Who's the real boss?

I've had real bad luck with domestic helpers. First I had a filipino who was sent to me by an agent that I trusted as they had sent good helpers to my friends, however I was very dissatisfied with her as I wanted someone pleasant and experienced to take care of my little baby and she was none of the the two, moreever I was in a hurry to get back to work and didn't have sufficant time to train her.

As I was unhappy with her, my aunts helper (Sri Lankan) recommended her friend who was also looking for a job as her contract was terminated. I met this helper and she seemed pleasant, honest and confident in taking care of my little baby. Morever she had worked in Hong Kong before so I thought this would make my life much easier as it would take less time to train her. The only drawback was that she did not have employer references despite working here and had broken two contracts in the past two years. When I asked her why, she said the employers had treated her badly and wouldn't say anything good about her.

Because I urgently needed a helper and my aunt's helper told me she was good I signed her.


Once this was done I started seeing her true colours.

On the very first day when she arrived from Colombo she went straight to her friends house in Jordan while I was waiting for her at home, she didn't have the courtesy to call and let me know

that she had arrived safely or ask for any sort of permission to meet her friends. I missed my family lunch as I was waiting her.

We have been extremely kind to this helper and have not told her anything despite many things like her inappropriate dress sense at night and her not being very clean at many times. She naps every afternoon whether or not I rest. I also decided to work part-time as I know it's difficult to take care of a baby and do house work at the same time.

We took all this crap because overall she was fine with my baby and the housework and I needed to get back to work.

However one fine sunday after only 16 days of working with us she came back crying and said that she has problems in Sri Lanka and needs to go back. She gave us one months notice and reminded us about her rights as a domestic helper.

I was shocked. This was the last thing I expected and needed. I just started work after eight months of being at home after my baby was born.

Inspite of us asking her several times about the situation at home she refused to say anything only that she has to go back. So we don't have any choice but to let her go. find it difficult to believe that she has any problems as she seems perfectly fine and happy now. I just wonder if she has found another job.



I resigned from my job so that I can take care of my baby and we have to start looking for another helper again.

This whole helper issue has stressed us out completely. We have wasted a lot of time, money and effort to bring this helper to Hong Kong. I wonder if any of you have had similar experiences. Pls advice. Thanks!

I don't think the question is appropriate.

Anyway, base on your story, you really had bad times with your previous helpers, feel sorry for that. All I can say is you should go to agencies, there are lots of good helpers waiting for a good employer like you. At least you can do the interview personally. There are so many good candidates, finished contract with the support of their previous employers.


: )

Sorry you have had bad luck. But given the 200k helpers working in HK, I would say most people have to be satisfied or there wouldn't be any.


There are many good helpers out there.



"This whole helper issue has stressed us out completely. We have wasted a lot of time, money and effort to bring this helper to Hong Kong. I just wonder who's the real boss here. The helpers have nothing to lose. We are the losers in everyway. It's a pity that the Hong Kong law doesn't protect the

employers in any way."


Employers are pretty well protected. After all, you can terminate a helper at any time. On the other hand, helpers are in very vulnerable positions.

"There was a post here not that long ago about an employer not being happy with the way a new helper did things (the helper didn't know how to use a steam iron - horror of horrors) and when I mentioned that to my husband he said that if it happened in his office the first thing he'd do is to sack the middle manager for not giving adequate training (even to a fully qualified graduate) and then make sure the employee got the training before anyone judged him inadequate."


Hear hear!

This post has prompted me ask a slightly different question, and I apologize for hi-jacking this thread, but really....

According the to HK Govt, there have been thousands of HK women who have been trained to be domestic helpers, in fact this is why the levy was originally started and why the OFW's wages were decreased. Now the Govt has repealed the levy for 2 years, but say they will start it again. May I ask, if you have such problems with OFWs (and we have heard many similar type of problems previously) then why don't you hire a local? Supposedly, they have been trained, speak the language already, are cheaper and can follow directions without mis communication.

"if you have such problems with OFWs (and we have heard many similar type of problems previously) then why don't you hire a local? Supposedly, they have been trained, speak the language already, are cheaper and can follow directions without mis communication."


I doubt that in general they are better or worse than FDHs. As with all large groups, some will be fantastic, some will be awful and most will be somewhere in between.

hi well there were many reasons why I fired the previous helper and it was not just a matter of training. her personality was extremely unpleasant. the very next day she started working for me she asked me "Maam why is the building vibrating?" she would eat dinner and go to the toilet in the dark. When I took her out to a friends place she slept on the chair in front of so many people. Now how was I supposed to trust my child with such a weirdo?? She would keep asking me the price of everything from my child's stroller to the cost of my house. When I asked her to make Jam toast for b'fast she took out every edible food item from the fridge and asked me whether it was jam.. however these are just some of the reasons...and all this after undergoing a 3 months training programme... it would've taken me 3 yrs to train her...

and seems unrealistic..... :(

Sparkle,

If she asked questions about your buiding why would that offend you? Granted they were raher strange questions, but really, was she making an attempt to learn?


If she did not understand any of the language being spoken around her and fell asleep as a result you consider her a wierdo? When I came here I learned it was near to impossible to remain in a group of people and appear interested when I could only undertand about 5% of what was being said! I concede that if you were speaking her langauge, that is a different matter, but really was she meant to be a part of that conversation or a spectator?

The jam problem is rather funny and worth a bit of a laugh rather than a scolding IMHO.

My helper has worked for me for 6 years now and can't seem to get the difference between "potato" and "tomato" We laugh about it all the time b/c I have to ask her if she has them straight.

I hope you can find someone that will suit you, and I am sorry you have had such a hard time.

Sparkle, I think you've been unlucky. I can understand why someone might feel for someone who claims to have been treated badly by previous employers and therefore want to give them a chance despite a lack of reference (especially if they've been recommended by someone you trust). I would just say that you should just be careful that a lot of helpers try to find gullible Western employers and try to play the 'abused by my Chinese employer' card. Sadly, some of the stories are true, but many are just cover-ups for a poor employment history.


Also, do not assume that a recommendation from a reliable helper will be just as good a helper. Just because they are friends or family does not mean that they have a similar work ethic.


Best of luck. You will find the right helper if you give yourself time. You also have to be realistic but clear in your expectations. If you think afternoon naps etc. are unacceptable; say so. I suggest that you take the time to list out the responsibilities, daily outline schedule etc. I would then use it at interview once you've ascertained that you have the right person. Compare the task list to what she is used to and try to establish whether she bthinks she can handle the job.