Helper "borrowed" pet emergency cash

Recently I travelled outside of Hong Kong for two weeks and my helper took care of my cats. It's only me, the helper and three cats in the household, and the cats are very important to me.


I had specifically left money aside in case of any emergency so she could get a taxi and pay even for night-time veterinary care for the cats should that be required. Additionally, she had phone numbers to three friends who had promised to be on alert should my helper need any additional assistance regarding the cat-care, like translating Chinese or even providing more emergency cash.


When I got back from my trip, the cats were well and happy, but my helper then confessed that she had "borrowed" HK$750 from the emergency cat money because her dog in the Philippines had slipped out of an open gate and bitten a neighbor's kid. The kid's parents demanded money for hospital treatment, even though the bite was apparently not so serious and the dog had been vaccinated against rabies. Ok I understand animal bites can be nasty and it was probably right that the parents took the kid to the hospital, but what is bothering me is that my helper did not in any way try to contact me by phone or text before (or after) she "borrowed" the money. I only learned on the second day after I returned to Hong Kong, having gotten home late at midnight on the arrival day.


When she told me about the case, she explained that she had calculated it would be only two more days before I would return home, and that she had "begged" the cats "please please cats, don't get sick or anything" so that she would not need to use the money I had left for any cat emergency.


Normally and usually she has been very good and levelheaded and responsible with the cats, knowing well how important the darned moggies are to me, but I was blown by her action to "borrow" the money without talking to me first, and with her attitude of naively hoping nothing bad would happen so that she would not need the emergency cash. If it was that simple, if I could just ask and get a promise from the cats that they will not be getting sick or having any accidents while I am away, well then there would be no need to leave any emergeny money just in case!


Of course I will be getting back the money from her, but she is currently already owing me a month's salary that needs to be deducted gradually from her salary, so technically I have to wait for several months before she gets to paying back this unauthorized loan.


I am trying to think this was a one-off bad judgement call on her part, and I did talk to her afterwards and explained that I really wanted that money to be kept in case of cat emergency only, and if she needed to borrow some for her own emergency, she should definitely have called me about it first. What's your take on this?

I think she should definitely have contacted you before 'borrowing' the money. You left the cash for a specific reason, it was not hers to 'borrow'. It would be like any other employee dipping into the company petty cash without asking for permission to borrow some money ... I don't think many employers would be happy with their employees doing that! Along with the fact that she can't pay you straight back for it is totally out of order.


We always leave emergency cash with our helper in case either of our dogs need to see the vet whilst we're away and, thankfully, she has never done anything like this but if she did I would be none too happy about it!

I'm sorry, but even giving her the benefit of the doubt, the more I think about this, the more I think it's totally unacceptable for her to have done what she did without asking first. It doesn't matter whether you're employed as a domestic helper, office worker, bank worker, or any other kind of employee ... you simply don't help yourself to your employer's money without their knowledge. Many other employees would be fired for doing the same. Domestic helpers are employees ... why do some domestic helpers think the rules are different for them?

If I were you I would deduc the $750 from this coming month's salary. If you haven't been away she would have to ask you for the money and let you decide.

Also seems fishy to me that she would spend almost 1/5 of her salary due to her dog bitting a kid.

Never heard of that one. HK$750 its a lot of money in the Phillipines how could she so casually took the money.

I think she has just used the excuse her dog had bitten a kid, knowing you like pets, and would be a 'soft' touch, and it is probably a lie. Taking your cash, for whatever reason, without your consent is theft.

My question is did you left some budget for home or for her food? Coz ur out for two weeks. In case she can use that for her own emergency instead of using the budget for ur pets. but still its not proper not to text or call you the time she needs it. Or maybe shes scared or ashamed to tell you for you might get angry. She might be thingking she can pay it back before you come.

This story seems highly unlikely. Especially since she has taken a loan from you before so obviously she is short of cash already. I think she saw an opportunity while you were away and took it thinking there is no way the cats would ever need the money... Sounds dishonest and very fishy to me. But- what's done is done now and you should deduct the whole 750 directly from her next salary. This should not be considered a loan that she took but theft since she did not get your consent first. At least she owned up to taking the money and didnt blame the cats. I wouldnt be leaving any money or valuables around anymore...

I had left money also for the household, and a freezer full of food and told her to help herself to any frozen meals there. - According to her, the kid's parents demanded payment to get the kid anti-rabies shots. This despite that the dog had been vaccinated against rabies. I did ask my helper couldn't they simply have had shown proof that the dog had been vaccinated so no need for anti-rabies treatment for the kid, but apparently things don't work that way in the Phils...


I did move my valuables behind lock and key, but still keep having this nagging feeling about the whole thing. And to prove the point, just yesterday I was putting something in the freezer, and when I closed the door, one of the cats screached miserably, having left a curious paw between the freezer door! Luckily only its pride was hurt, but it really showed how easily an accident can happen after all, even when I am trying to be really careful. The helper had tears in her eyes when I drove home that point, so I think she really learned now that I was not being over-protective leaving her with the cat emergency money while I was away. I also asked her what would she have done if the money had been needed for the cats after all, and she said she would have called one of my three friends that had promised to be a back-up for her. That then kinda negates the whole point of having emergency CASH at HOME, as it would have taken extra time for my friends to bring or transfer money to her...


Will need to have a final talk with her and like many of you have said, it's starting to feel less and less "fair" that I should wait months for the return of the 750,-; she will need to find a way to pay it back to me the quicker the better!

Someone above asked had Christelita left a budget at home for household/food, suggesting that maybe the helper could have used that for her own emergency instead ... I see no difference in using either the household budget, or the pets emergency money ... both would have been left for specific reasons and not for the helpers own personal use without the consent of the employer.


As employers of DH's, I realise that we have certain responsibilites, but I personally don't see that it's an employer's responsibility to cough up cash, or hand out loans, whenever the helper has yet another 'emergency' or 'crisis' back home. I'd never dream of asking my employer for a loan - and believe me, there have been times in my life when I could have done with one!


I consider myself to be a reasonably generous employer and don't expect my DH to take advantage of the fact ... if she did, I would be far less generous. However, some employers do tend to be overly generous and this only serves to make some helpers think that they are entitled to ask for cash/loans whenever they need one ... and in some cases, they even help themselves.


Maybe I'm just a hard person, but that $750 would definitely be coming out of her next month's salary!

Why to be paid after two months, deduct it on the next payroll. One time my helper asked me to borrow $300 I said no because at that point I felt like her bank. She was just waiting to pay me one loan when started the other.

Anyway, short after I said no, I sent her to the store and she told me she lost the money on the way, so I told her, I felt sorry but had to deduct from her next salary. She never lost money again after that.

I totally agree with FIFIB. It's not like she 'accidentally' damaged, or broke something and you want to deduct an amount from her salary, in which case I understand there is a limit to what you can deduct from one month's salary ... she has actullay helped herself to money that isn't hers, without consent ... so you are entitled to take it back ... there was no agreement between you about a loan, she simply took what wasn't hers to take, so you're entitled to take it back.


If you let this go, there'll no doubt be another 'emergency' before you know it ...

Reading posts like this...part of me wants to be compassionate, think of the situation from both parties' perspectives and understand your DH's situation.


Then I read about all of the stories of reasons why money was borrowed.....sick aunt, father needs operation, sister's tuition, brother did something stupid and needs money to be bailed out of jail....the list goes on and on....I have also lived in the Philippines for 6.5 years, and had first-hand experience in loaning money to my drivers and maids on many ocassions.


I have absolutely nothing against Filipinos, and in fact am happily married to a lovely Filipina woman, with a beautiful child...and love her, my baby and my wife's family dearly.


I think, though, that your DH has taken advantage of your trust and past precedents of advancing her money.....the story of the dog biting the neighbor sounds highly dubious, and even if it were true....one would think that between money that your DH has saved during her employment in HK and spare cash that her friends or family might have in the Philippines, that the money could have been gotten elsewhere.......her dog slips through the gate and bites a child...Is that really your responsibility ??!!


She is taking the piss out of you !! deduct the amount from her salary this month, and put it in writing for both of you to sign...If you do this, she will understand that the buck stops there, and she cannot simply rely on you everytime ANY incident (whether minor or major) occurs, and she comes to you to cough of some cash...You are not an interest free, 24/7 walking ATM machine.