Am i being unreasonable?

I agree 100% with Cara, you need to draw your boundary and tell her when you are calm that you want a happy worker in your home and so if she is very unhappy with the situation then it may be better if you part ways and she gives her notice. I would say it gently but I would definitely make a point of doing it now so the ground rules are set i.e your home your rules as she is a relative newbie in your employ.

Not addressing this is likely to escalate into other things, and sulking ect that you don't need to be dealing with.

Moreover I would tell her she needs room to store her stuff so the cupboards ect are going to stay.

Um, 100sqft...that's the amount of space some families have in HK!! Be grateful or start packing...

I don't know if you are being unreasonable or not. However, this line of thinking is dangerous....


"I dont understand why she is constantly complaining about space when there are many helpers in hk who dont even have their own living spaces."


Just because you treat your helper 'better' than someone else....that doesn't make it good treatment. It almost sounds like you feel a bit guilty?

Im curious and wonder what "constantly complaining" is - saying once that the room is small and asking built ins be removed ? or is it every hour? every day?

I believe that HK immigration regards 40 sq ft as the minimum amount of space that a helper is supposed to have (if they even have their own space and are not sharing with a child, as is common practice here). So 100 square feet plus a private bathroom is well in excess of the norm.


If your helper has 150 square feet and is already complaining, then you should address why she feels this way- do her friends have more space? Does she have an incredible amount of junk? Is she just pushing boundaries? But regardless of what the reasons are, it's up to you to set whether this is a negotiable point or not (and it really should not be negotiable).


I did speak to our own helper before arranging built in furniture, and she expressed a strong aversion to a raised bed with storage underneath because she regarded it as dangerous. I could see her point and arranged something that she was more comfortable with even if in my opinion it is a less efficient use of the space that she has.

40 sq ft? Why don't you just have them sleep in the wardrobe or in the bath tub? sad.

sadly, like i have said before, the standards for "living" for a DH are incredibly crap in HK. But hey...as for OP - no you are not being unreasonable, but instead of venting on here, you probably know what you ought to do.


"Look, lady, I understand that maybe in the Philippines there is a lot of room in your home, and for that, I feel for you. Hong Kong really sucks when it comes to space, and I am truly sorry your room is small, but we will remove the builtin closets if we can, but beyond that, I am afraid you will just have to learn to live with it. HK govt says you require at least 40 sqft, this is 100...I know, I know, crazy, right? But for now, this is all we can afford for us as a family, and well, and still afford to pay you, of course. I would prefer that you learn to adapt and not complain because it makes me feel bad to keep hearing you complain and if its really so hard for you I guess you should tell me now and we can part ways and I can look for someone else who can adjust to the living arrangements we have here. But please, let me know now."


Say it.


Sometimes folks are scared to "rub the helper the wrong way" or something, but really, you are the boss, not the helper, and you are the one paying for the roof over her head, so she has to take what she can get. You tell her you hired her to live in because you simply cant shell out more for a live out helper plus its illegal anyway. So yeah, go for it, be tough and just be firm.

@unattendedbag: 40 square feet is about the size that most the majority of lower income Hong Kong locals would have for a bedroom, if not larger. If you stop to think about it rather than reflexively getting on your high horse, it's the size of a 5x8' room.