Posted by
miming
18 yrs ago
Hi my helper called me by my first name.I am comfortable with that however my friend told me it sounds so rude for my helper to call me in that way.What would you prefer?
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zalca
18 yrs ago
i think it's entirely up to you! don't be ruled by other people's comments. do whatever you feel comfortable with but be respectful to your helper and it will be returned to you :)
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july8
18 yrs ago
It really depend from you,but honestly I noticed that in europe they are more formal and they say Sir and Madam,in the states and australia is more informal and they just say the name.
I personally won't call my boss by first name byt see how you like it..
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IF a DH is formally trained, they will call you Ma'am, and male employer "sir". It's not extravagant at all. It's manners, especially in Europe, and in Asia. Many families require the helpers to wear uniforms, use backdoors/alternate exits, sit separately for meals (at home AND in restaurants)..... I think it's simply a line that one draws between the helper and the employer.
How you want to be called is entirely up to you.
I think to maintain a certain "respect", and "authority" ... I think the helper should either refer you as Ms. or Mrs. whatever.... or Ma'am. It's simply manners and a sign of respect.
In restaurants (Chinese) and in shops around HK, I am always referred to as "ma'am". It's very common, at least in Asia.
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My helper calls me by my first name, and I use hers. She's about the same age as me, so anything else would seem weird.
At work I call my boss by her first name, although a lot of my colleagues don't, so I suppose it's cultural (I'm English). At work I tend to call people much older than me Mr/Ms xxx, regardless of their seniority, so perhaps if I was a lot older than my helper that would happen too.
Just do whatever you are comfortable with, and don't listen to friends who offer unhelpful/unsolicited opinions.
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crj
18 yrs ago
Our last helper was older than us and called us by our first names.
Our new helper is also older than us and refuses to do so... she says it makes her uncomfortable. So she sometimes says Ma'am and other times Ma'am followed by my first name. And Sir or Sir followed by husband's first name. Her English is excellent, so it is not a question of pronunciation, just her own comfort zone.
So I suggest speaking with your helper to see what she is comfortable with, and let her know your preference.
Our baby is almost one, and we will have him call her ayi, as we think it is rude for a child to call an adult by her/his first name.
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HK2
18 yrs ago
Hi, Cara,
Yaya does not mean elder sister. The word for that in Filipino is ate (pronounced ah-te). Yaya is what a child in the Philippines would call the helper assigned to them. It's common there to have one specific helper per child - so that helper is his or her yaya.
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2006
18 yrs ago
In their own country, Filipinos express respect for status and age through both verbal and behavioural traits. So do the French: any maid in France would address her employer as "Madame"; the maid would not dream of addressing Madame by her first name.
The lack of verbal respect is primarily a British and Australasian thing. By contrast, American managers in the Deep South routinely call their company president "Sir"; hopefuls on The Apprentice call Donald Trump "Sir"; doormen in Atlanta call me "Sir", etc. And most other European languages, of course, enshrine the social/hierarchical relationship with one's interlocutor by using different words for "you" (tu/vous; du/Sie, etc).
Just go with whatever you're comfortable with - or rather, whatever you will be happier with when/if things turn sour.
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