Hello,
Our helper has been with us for the last 4 years.
She is good with the children but tends to have bad attitudes with me (sulking, not answering, not listening...).
Her contract will end in 2 weeks now and I'm thinking about NOT renewing her.
My big question :
how can I handle this situation the best way possible ?
the kids are attached to her and I don't want to create a tragic atmosphere at home.
Also, I'm working so it means I'll have to find another helper very quickly... and of course it adds to my anxiety. If I don't have a helper, I can't go to work !
I feel that she's just taking more and more from us and that she is never happy.
She recently took many days off, saying that all gweilos give them to their DH and that she's been with us for 4 years (meaning she deserved them). We would be ready to give them to her it's just the way she behaves, she takes everything for granted and is not thankful.
I feel I had enough of her arrogance now.
Any advice how to make this change as smooth as possible ?
When should we tell her we're not renewing her ?
What do we need to give her ? (plane ticket ? holidays ?....)
Thanks a lot
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I just want to voice out my concern, I would think it is always dangerous to keep the maid for another month if she knew you are not going to renew her contract, look at newspaper reports, some lunatics will act violently and if you have kids at home, it is really not safe...
when my children were small, I used to have Filipino DHs, Indonesian DHs and some are good and some are bad.. the bad ones I terminated right away and sent her out of my house pronto and let the agency and immigration knew ASAP. Keeping an unfriendly person and have to live with her attitude is not one I would accept. Anyway, it is only me but just be careful.
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cd
16 yrs ago
Out of courtesy you should have given her 1 months notice. But I'm not sure if legally you have to as her contract is finishing. She should have spoken to you long before now and not assumed you would automatically be renewing. In theory you shouldn't have to pay anything apart from ticket home as you are not terminating her.
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If you are not entirely happy with her it is best not to renew, the situation will not get better.
I am not sure if you are aware of this but legally once a helper (or any employee) has been with you more than 5 years you must pay both long service leave and statutory redundancy should you decide in future to terminate the contract. So if in future you leave HK you will have to pay her some $12,000++ as well as the usual annual leave, airfare etc. See the Labour dept website Labour Legislation Employee Ordinance 57 for details of what you need to pay. www.labour.gov.hk/eng/legislat/content2.htmut
Because of the financial obligations involved I would not sign a third contract with any helper unless I was extremely happy with every aspect of her work. I know I would resent having to pay out alot of money to a helper with a bad attitude who was rude to me!
Furthermore you would be surprised how quickly children forget a helper. Just tell them she has gone back to Phil to be with her family.
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I would advise that you not renew this DH contract, no matter how attached the kids are (see above posts - kids move on !)
If the DH is giving you attitude now, it can only get worse. Whether other "Gweillo" families give additional time off is none of your concern, you have a contract with your DH, which she / he is to abide by. You may, if you wish, allocate more time off at YOUR discretion, not the DH's !
Start looking for a new DH, ask your friends for recommendations, you can even ask via this forum, I am sure there are a few DH's that will become free soon due to relocations !
Do not feel pressured by your DH, if there are incidents involving the DH not following your requests, or not carrying out her / his work properly, keep a record and as a last resort, if things do not improve, speak with immigration dept.
The DH is on a contract, no notice is required. I suggest when the contract has expired, an immediate removal from the residence is required or she is given a ticket back to the Phil (one way !) on the day of contract expiry.
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I personally would rather give one month's pay rather than notice. The risk of a helper harming your children is not one I would be willing to take.
As Rainbow Six says, you don't need to give any notice if the contract is about to end but I think in your case, you will have to renew with her to buy time to look for a replacement. (It seems harsh but honestly, helpers unhappy with their current employer would do the same - it's just an equal employment opportunity thing so I don't see any reason to feel bad.)
I know one friend who even forwarded her home tel to her mobile while she was applying for a replacement in case there were any calls from HK Immig which would alert her current DH that she was looking for a new DH. Is that deceitful? Perhaps. But she has 2 young ones at home and she needs to look after their best interests. Better safe than sorry.
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I agree, better to give one months pay. Make sure you take the house key from her at the same time.
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Hi all,
We have decided to renew her.... Maybe we will regret later but we believe it's the best solution for us now.....
Thanks for your inputs.
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i think your helper is gloating right now because she knows you can't live without her.
anyways, if you are worrried about your kids. kids are resilient and they will adapt to a new helper easily.
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Don't do an to Others what you dont want to do an to You...
if you renew her and drop her by terminating in the mids,,, just pray that you can fined match better than her,,t, living with her with 4 years is match enaough to know her better to think miserable thing.. if you dont like her service anymore just finish the contract.. maid is helper, not a slave, a human to treat as person...
hiring for their service not for their humanity...
its you to desides..... god bless you
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Don't really understand most of jane_4's rambling, but the part about "hiring for their service, not for their humanity" is interesting.
The hiring of a helper is, at the end of the day, a commercial transaction and NOT an act of charity. So why the guilt trip? It's the same for all of us no? At the end of the day, if my employer finds that I am not delivering on my work, he/she may choose to fire me. I would not go back to him saying stuff like "don't do unto others..."
Yes, helpers who get renewed and then terminated are stuck with a bad deal. But so are many employers who renew and then find that their helper had no intention of staying out the contract but have just been buying time to find a better job. Goes both ways, no?
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Hi it's me again.
We are not going to renew her as this morning she told us she received another offer and was still hesitating !!!!!!
So we are done with her now.
We told her she should give us her final word on Tuesday. If she says she wants to go to this new family, fine. Otherwise, we'll tell her we'll hire someone new !!!
I guess it's going to be a bumpy road as we're both working...
We're going to see some agencies today in order not to loose anymore time as our decision is now done for sure. No way back possible for us.
bye
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me thinks she's waiting for you to give her a better offer
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Hi, my helper's contracting is ending and i'm releasing her early. she's available anytime for an interview and to start working again. give me a call if you're still looking. 61898394 Mrs. Cheung
i have two boys under 2yrs old. the oldest one is 23months and the younger one is 7 months. she's great with them and loves them to bits. i think when children are involved, it's always best to find a helper by recommendation.
her background:
she's 36, has a 3yr old daughter back in the Philippines and has been working in HK for about 4.5yrs.
I've had her for 2 yrs and we're not renewing because i quit my job a few months ago and my son only wants mommy now anyways.
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Since this DH's attitude is poor, I would recommend terminating and paying her wages in lieu of notice and asking her to leave right away. dont leave her at home with your kids! also she might steal since she thinks she deserves more.
you can always hire a local nanny until a new DH arrives.
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