Getting irritated with couple

We employ a married couple at our home and I am struggling with the how this has changed our household. Prior to our helper's husband arriving I was quite content with everything, but now that he has arrived I feel as though I am living in their house! I feel as though I am sharing my kitchen as they spend a great deal of time preparing meals for lunch and dinner (I cook for myself and hubby). Their meals seem to take up a ridiculous amount of time whereas before his arrival she was content to have a quick bowl of noodles. When he drives me somewhere I feel pressure to be quick since I know he wont eat lunch out and I know he is hungry! When we arrive back home he bolts into the kitchen as though he has been starved! This makes me feel uncomfortable-since Hong Kong retail does not get going until 10:30/11:00 I have no choice but to do my errands closer to lunchtime and my afternoons are busy with my kids. I feel badly that I am getting irritated with this couple as they work hard and I know they would be horrified to know I feel this way. I just cant help but feel that things are different with having a husband in the picture. My husband travels a great deal, so is rarely around. I feel like my home is not my own and I am not sure how to handle it. Does anyone have experience with this?

I would suggest you sit them down and have a chat, perhaps speak to the wife on her own and explain about the shopping etc and maybe suggest she make him a quick something he can take with him for if he gets hungry while your out. I'm sure they are delighted to be able to work and live together as a couple and if you explained what you said above to them they would make sure that the problems are solved. Especially if you make it clear that it's not working for you since her husband came to your home.


Good luck

Though my local helper and driver are not related and do not live in, they eat all meals in my home.

I work irregular hours and it's about 40 mins 1 way to my workplace, so my driver will be near my workplace for most days. I informed helper and driver that they need to work around my schedule, their meal time is 1 hr for lunch/dinner (inclusive of cooking). In between, they have short tea breaks. Initially, helper was busily occupied with cooking several dinner dishes just for both of them.


My day start at 6.30am and I eat prepacked lunch frequently. My driver also takes along a prepacked lunch & drinks, unless he wants to pay for his own lunch.


How about sharing with your helpers that you will prefer that she prepare a quick packed lunch for her hubby, as your return time will be in the later part of the day. He can then eat his lunch at his leisure while you are doing your errands.

don't worry. you're not alone! i have a similar situation and bringing a male into the household really does change the dynamics. i think all you can do is talk to them. my helper comes to tell me (frequently) that her boyfriend is being kept waiting in the car!!! she has recently come around to understanding that that is his job, and i will sometimes be delayed....