What is it like to have a live in help

I just moved to Hong Kong a month ago and I am starting a new job soon. I have a 7 months old baby boy who needs to be looked after. I think I would prefer having someone part time to take care of him when I'm at work, but since that's illigal we might get a live in helper. I'm wondering how that will effect our lives. Where will she be when we are at home? Does she have to eat dinner with you and watch a movie together at night, or will she be in her room. I like to spend as much time as possible with my husband and baby when I'm not at work but I'm afraid the help is always gonna be there as well and that we don't have privacy anymore. Can anyone tell me what I can expect?

That's great advice from cara. Basically, do what suits you and your family ... every family has different needs/priorities.


When we first employed our helper (from a friend who left HK), I continued to do the same things that she did with them, such as her eating dinner with us and, whilst I'm happy to do all of my own cooking (something I enjoy), I was also doing all of hers too, which began to irritate me a little (my friend had two helpers and the other one did all the cooking, so my helper never had to do it).


Even though she is a fantastic helper, after a couple of weeks, I was pulling my hair out in frustration! I hated having her at our dinner table every evening, as this is the time that my family and I sit down to talk about our day, and other more private things that I didn't really want my helper listening to. Consequently, we ended up with our dinner times being very stressful, and not talking to each other like we used to ... I was totally unhappy with this. As she is so lovely, I didn't want to offend her, but finally, to save my own sanity, I spoke with her about the situation, and I actually think it was a bit of a relief to her too ... I think she's much happier doing her own thing, rather than eating at the table with her boss every evening. She now happily eats dinner in her own room whilst skypeing/chatting to friends,etc., then she helps clear away the dishes when we are finished later. She's also cooks some of her own food, although I do often do extra food and she has a selection of meals in the freezer to choose from if she wishes.


She's very discreet around the house, and when she's not working she rests in her room, or potters around outside. She never watches our TV or spends time in our lounge ... that's our own family space and she respects that.


From experience, my best advice to you would be, 'start as you mean to go on'! You can still have your privacy, even with a full-time helper living in your home. Just make sure you tell her from the start exactly how you want things to work in your home. Good luck!

Thanks Cara and Sapphire, that helps a lot. For me and my husband dinner time is the moment we sit down and talk about our day as well, and I want to be able to keep doing that and feel free to talk about everything. It's good advice to just talk about it with her, and start as we mean to go on. We'll find a way that works for us I guess, but it was nice to hear from you how it works at your homes.

I've sent you a message for your thinking over. Cheers


John