How can I stop the rumor?

my previous helper who I let go 3 months ago is back in town and she is now working for my neighbour. She has been badmouthing me ever since she is back. She was paid $6800 including transportaion and everything but she asked me to GIVE her 4000 3 months into the contract as her son's girlfriend had a c-section. I originally agreed as I was going to give her a yearly bonus. I explained to her I will not give her a bonus if she wants to have the $4000 now. She agreed but 10 minutes after the converstaion, she asked for $6000 more. I asked her why and she was really rude and said, 'don't you know I have 4 children and the youngest one is going to private school and I have to pay tuition fee?". I was really upset and refused to give in. I said if she still wants the $4000, she can have it. After that converstaion, she became really rude to me and often walked away when i was in the middle of the conversation. When I asked her to hang up the phone while caring my 19 months old, she refused and said she has nothing to do but watch her in the stroller. Eventually, I let her go.


My new helper came about a month ago, but she just resigned as she was terribly home sick and she told me there were 3 helpers telling her how bad a person I am. She often cried on the job and I feel terrible. However, things had gotten dramatically worse last Sunday when her husband lost his job. She told me the family needs money so I encouraged her to work hard so she can support the family.


Anyway, we took her to the doctor for general medical check up a week after she arrived and she repeatedly was asked to send in the stool and urine sample. After a few reminder, she finally sent in the urine sample the end of second week and the result came back and apparantely, she has eco li in her bladder and urinary infection. The doctor asked her questions and she then told the doctor she hasn't had a poo for 2 weeks and no, she said she sometimes wipes herself after going to the bathroom but not all the time. On the same day, she started to say that she is going to die and that she is dizzy. I took her to my friend's place during the time I was out working as I didn't want to leave her home alone in her condition.

Eventually, after having my friend's helper translating, she confessed that she hasn't been able to eat, poo, sleep and she has been on the phone with her husband every other night. She used all her food allowance on topping up her phone card and so she indeed has no food other than eating rice, sardines and noodles.

Before she completely shut down and hid herself in her room the whole night, she said she has AIDS which I know she doesn't as she had the medical check up before coming to HK.

She asked me to terminate her contract the next day because she wants to go home. I explained to her that she needs to give me a resignation letter instead. Anyway, she is out of my house and yes, she signed the resignation letter.

I have a part-time job and I want to look for a helper who can start working immediately but with my previous helper around, I am not sure how I can retain a new helper. For those who can start working immediately, they have the time to choose a better gig/employer. If I were a helper, I wouldn't want to choose someone who has a bad reputation. The two incidents happened all at the same time and I am really stressed out. Any adivce?

why not tell any new helper upfront what is going on? if you are transparent, it should not be an issue, me thinks

I agree, If your concern to your co-helper if that employer is bad you should warn her. Rumor is sometimes not true thats why its called rumor.If you know to yourself that your a good employer you must prove it to your helper.


Bad reputation if always terminate a helper or a helper always break their contract to their employer.No satisfaction at all. Well same as in helper too.

Hmm its just an analization..


How can I stop the rumor?

and the other thread..

Should I track down the employer?


Hmmmm....it seems that only one person or helper ur talking about..;)

The only way to treat a rumour is to ignore it and behave well. Unfortunately, people always make up stories to cover their own issues. What goes around comes around. Let the universe take care of it, and just live your life. I agree with Cookie above that it is important to let the new helper know something of the situation, but not all. Just tell her that you expect her to be loyal to you. I have sent you a PM.

I agree with flashback


I think you have to ignore, and looking a helper coming to different country than your previous helper ,if she hear about something happen, simply say it's not true, and you don't know why it was started.


Good luck

its true. its hard to stop rumours. we have a similar situation where other helpers in the block have just made their mind up that someone is bad , the helpers blank each other and it creates a really horrible atmosphere. Id like to think that no one really cares to much at the end of the day but often these mythical dramas gain resonance purely because its what helpers like to talk about. I was going to talk to the other houses helpers but decided agaisnt it. It will only reinforce their opinions even more. So just leave it , be nice, and if its not returned just forget about it.