Posted by
Anonymous
17 yrs ago
1. Aids does not cause you to fall ill usually till many years after it is contracted. You get HIV then later it turns to aids and symptoms show. So even if your maid went back to the phils and contracted it from her husband then she would not be ill within months. Some people get HIV but never develop aids.
2. You cannot even test for HIV until at least 6 months after the contact because it will not show up in tests that soon.
3. The hospital suspects? Which hospital and where? If she actually has Aids then she likely got it a long time ago so a test would be conclusive.
I suggest you send her to a doctor in Hong Kong and have her get an HIV/AIDS test immediately.
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You are not allowed to terminate en employee on grounds of illness, or when she is on sick leave (which presumably is the case). However, you can negotiatie with her and try to reach an agreement to end the contract. You can find details about it on the Labour Department website.
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your helper must be terrified...what horrible news. i would have the same question as saikunga & innocence, what blood tests have they run that got the drs to the conclusion that she "may" be hiv positive or have the aids virus?
a blood test should provide a definite answer. hope you and your helper get the answers very soon.
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There is no reason to fire someone with HIV or AIDS and it is indeed against both the law and against rational thinking. There is little chance a helper or anyone in a similar position can pass on the virus to your baby.
I am amazed that this level of ignorance still exists.
If you want information about the disease please see here: http://www.thebody.com/
As others have said it is ILLEGAL to fire someone who has contracted an illness while at work and is undergoing treatment or recuperation.
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i agree with minidom...
HIV or AIDS is an STD. sexually transmitted.. theres almost no chance that you,your baby, or anyone who interacts with an HIV+ person will contract the disease by casual physical contact..
pls do give your helper a chance. i understand your concern about health etc but it is close to unreasonable.
but pls do check the med results, or get a second opinion about her condition. it wont be the first time that a hospital no matter how good they are, have mixed upspecimen samples.
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Nuri
17 yrs ago
I feel sorry for for your helper, but... What If your helper cuts her finger when preparing meal and then attends to your baby? Of course the chances that her blood will somehow get into baby's body are low but you can't exclude a possibility of the baby having a scratch. Why taking chances? I know it sounds almost paranoid but why should you take chances when it comes to your baby's health.
Also, why everybody who is to be employed by a school has to have blood tested for HIV?
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This will undoubtly be a very frightening time for your helper and she will need as much support as possible. I would also have the same questions as innocence.
If she is again given the HIV diagnosis I would have to think very carefully as to what I would do. As an adult I would be most happy for her to continue in my employment, but.... I would not want to take any chances in regards to my child, even if the possibility of contraction is miniscule.
I would sit down with her and try to work out some sort of compromise either finding her alternative work with a family without young children or paying her some compensation along with providing her with as much help and support as is possible. You should check with the labor department to see where you stand in regards to the law.
Not a pleasant situation for you or your helper. Good Luck with it.
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Nuri,
Everyone who is employed at schools do not have to take HIV tests, certainly not in HK! That would be crazy, should all the pupils be tested too? And yes there are pupils with HIV in schools. In fact we all see people with HIV everyday. Do we know? Of course we don't.
The strange thing here is that the hospital are guessing and don't actually know. It may be an unnecessary worry. If she does have HIV then what?
Well it is illegal in HK to fire based on the fact she has HIV. You could find yourself prosecuted. If you do want to get rid of her it would have to be by mutual agreement and the fact you do know she has HIV could come back to haunt you if she decided to be unpleasant about it.
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so what happend to the helper?im curios
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Puti
17 yrs ago
My worry is not the helper giving HIV to my baby, my worry would be my helper/baby being ostracized once the news got out (and the news would get out) I could imagine cancelled play dates and empty birthday parties.
I am so glad I am not in your situation Sharry - I have had friends that have had/have this disease, and it is the battle for acceptance among peers that is the hardest.
Please keep us posted.
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I am just stunned by Puti's ignorance. why one earth would you not just PAY to send her to your femily practitioner for a test? not just 'the hospital suspects' - that is the most ridiculous comment I have EVER heard. test her, and then if you are trulyt not comfortable, negotiate a very very healthy severance. But your freinds who would cancel playdates also sound like a real treat.
I'm nearly speechless
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Puti
17 yrs ago
My ignorance in what? Please explain.
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sorry, I misread, I meant Sharry's ignorance. But I'm also amazed that you think the helper would be ostracized.. by whom? her church? or your freinds with whom you have playdates?
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Puti
17 yrs ago
Other helpers mostly. I think there is still a lot of ignorance over this matter.
Friends of mine employed a male helper, and my helper told me point blank that she would not be alone with a man. I had to respect that, and we only arranged playdates when I could be there.
When I read this my first thought was - would my helper be comfortable socializing with an HIV positive helper. If she were not comfortable - what would my responisbilities be: I could not in good conscience force her, I would educate her, but if after everything she is still not comfortable, what then?
I was trying to present a different point of view in my rather clumsy way.
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XTC
17 yrs ago
Are you sure that was what you wanted to say Puti ? Or is peer pressure that is beginning to triumph ? Be bold in what you stand for !
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Puti
17 yrs ago
100 per cent - my first reaction was 'not near my child' Then I thought - wow, if my helper won't hang out with a male helper, would she hang out with an HIV one? My friends kids and mine were close, now, because everyone works, they hardly see each other. I shall ask my helper today - Would you hang out with an HIV postitive helper - and let you know the answer - I could be borrowing trouble here!
If faced with the situation - I would hope rational thought would prevail, and I would do the right thing, and all would be good. There is a small chance that I would turn full protective mode become totally irrational and withdraw away from playdates. A non-compliant helper would provide a convenient excuse. We live in the NT, with a huge outdoor area, and one of my favourite things is arriving home early and seeing a plethora of kids and helpers going nuts on the patio. We have a child with learning difficulties and peer relationship problems. After all the work we have put in to get him to the point he is actually playing/welcoming other kids to the house, I would (with this reason) be incredibly intolerent of anything that threatens that.
So - in short XTC - 1. Being well educated, having first hand experience with HIV, I still instinctively thought - 'get rid of her'
2. I anticipate my helper will have a problem
3. When I was a SAHM, I hung out with the people I liked (no apologies there) and I would not expect my helper to do different - my biggest goal is that every interaction with my son is successful, and that happens best when the helper is happy and relaxed.
So Sharry - is she positive?
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hkkm
17 yrs ago
How would your friends and your friends helpers know that your helper was HIV positive unless you or your helper told them? And, given the likely reaction, why would either party let the news out?
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XTC
17 yrs ago
Its not what they dont know...its what you know.
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hi sharry,
sorry to know abt your case.
How is everything? A simple blood test would be able to confirm if your helper has HIV or not.
If she does have HIV, call me selfish, call me all the bad names in the world, but I will NOT risk my baby getting infected, not even if the chance of infection is 1 in a trillion. Why chance it? Yes, possibility of infection might be very low, but a risk is a risk. What more your helper will likely be touching your baby all the time - bathing, feeding playing - and she might have a cut finger, sore gums, the scenerios are endless.
Sorry, I am not as righteous or good-hearted as some of the others here. I am a mum of a 2 year old and she comes first in everything.
Your baby is your no 1 priority. Tell your helper nicely your difficult position, give her your blessings, and send her home.
You are not responsible for your helper - her family and her husband are.
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I am with mummybee1 - those who write emails about how ignorant and selfish one could be - do you guys have children? If you do, good on your - you are a better persnon than me (or mummybee1 by the sounds) but if not, I dont think you know what you are talking about....
Sharry hope all is well for both you and the poor helper!
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XTC
17 yrs ago
I am with you Idsllyn and mummy bee............once you have a child , then you are responsible for their wellbeing and safety! Why should you put your childs safety into jeopardy coz of a helper!! Are'nt the helpers around to make life easier for you or coz you more stress! Sharry i hope you have got rid of her!
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Firstly the quote "You are no responsible for your helper", actually that is not true. As an employer you are responsible and of course open to the full course of the labour law should you break it.
I also have kids so am not talking out of turn. No I don't have a helper, don't need one. We look after our own kids because we are parents. We do have occasional help from local sources, more expensive but only when needed.
The main point is that someone is an employer and has still not answered whether the FDH tested positive or not and if she did then has to deal with it in the right way. Getting "rid" of her would entail the possibility of being dragged through the courts for unfair dismissal.
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HIV is till rare in the Phillipines so it seems unlikely (although not impossible) that she has contracted it from her husband (unless he has also been travelling/working elsewhere like India or Cambodia). Who at the hospital told you they suspected HIV? What sort of symptoms does she have? Unfortunately there is still a lot of prejudice in HK and some will tend to assume HIV when dealing with Southeast or South Asian patients. In general HIV would rarely be assumed without a confirmatory blood test unless the person was an IV drug user, gay or a prostitute. Unfortuantely some here tend to assume all Filipina DHs also sell themselves on the side.
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