Posted by
kiwimmc
16 yrs ago
we have just employed a helper a couple of months ago and will be going away for 2 weeks in a months time. Do we offer her the time off for her to go home too? Or do we just ask her to do her usual tasks at our home? Or do we ask her to do additional tasks (if yes what do people ask to be done?) ? Just wondering what is the norm.
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if you do have her stay (and she may not wish to go home if she has just recently been) then cara has provided a great list. i also give my helper a list of things that we are running out of or that need to be replenished, once i had her take cooking lessons.
washing toys.
go through kids stuff, sort items that are too small (socks, undershirts)
clean out kitchen counters, re-organise them, throw out any items which are past by-sell date, BUT MAKE A LIST OF ITEMS THAT ARE THROWN OUT!!!
wash storage areas.
remove light fixtures and dust them.
taking the water based vaccuum cleaner to all pillows and mattresses
taking duvets to dry cleaners
encourage her to use her own initiative and tell her you'd love it if she found tasks and took them on (within reason). ask her if there is anything she has noticed that needs attention.
when we go on summer holidays it is for 6weeks, and we have our helper go home for three-four and then come home and do a "spring clean" and rest up for when we arrive home, all jet lagged.
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cara makes a good list. If you have small children, I would add "making baby food and freezing".
"encourage her to use her own initiative and tell her you'd love it if she found tasks and took them on (within reason). ask her if there is anything she has noticed that needs attention."
Excellent idea.
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Just make sure your helper is able to do all this stuff before you go and leave her to it, though. For example, if she's new / not much experience you wouldn't want her damaging your stuff while you're gone.
Another point is about privacy, I personally would never leave my helper in my home while I went on holiday - but then I don't have pets. I would also never let my helper go through all my cupboards to clean them, kitchen cupboards and the kids' bathroom cupboards she does but we ask her to leave alone all drawers / dressers etc in the living room, study and master bedroom. So if you do leave your helper in your flat while you're away, perhaps make clear to her what is OK for her to go through and what you don't want touched. Nothing worse than coming home from your dream holiday to find that your maid has been right through your underwear drawer and re- arranged all your knickers ...
Re. offering to send her home for a fortnight, different helpers have different preferences. Many would jump at the chance (so long as employer pays all expenses). But some dread a trip home because their families ask them for extra cash once they get back. If you don't want her in your home while you're away, and she doesn't want to go back to the Phils, you could pay for her boarding house expenses, or ask if she has a female friend she could stay with here in HK.
In conclusion, if you don't have pets, you are basically happy with your helper, and you can afford it, I would at least offer her a trip home. She'll probably love you to bits for it! - and come back to work much more refreshed and happier in herself.
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"Another point is about privacy, I personally would never leave my helper in my home while I went on holiday - but then I don't have pets. I would also never let my helper go through all my cupboards to clean them, kitchen cupboards and the kids' bathroom cupboards she does but we ask her to leave alone all drawers / dressers etc in the living room, study and master bedroom. So if you do leave your helper in your flat while you're away, perhaps make clear to her what is OK for her to go through and what you don't want touched. Nothing worse than coming home from your dream holiday to find that your maid has been right through your underwear drawer and re- arranged all your knickers ..."
"Nothing worse?" I can think of plenty of things that are worse than having our helper re-arrange our underwear drawers. It depends very much on what you think of as your "very personal" space. We couldn't care less if she sees our underwear. After all, she washes it and folds it. Personally, I think the way she makes sure our clothes are always perfectly folded and arranged rather sweet. And she is not "going through" the stuff, she is doing maid's work, i.e. tidying up.
Heck, when both kids have had a rough morning she has on occasion seen me in said underwear. Not that I'm trying to be an exhibitionist but I'm not going to take the time to get fully dressed first when I need to change a diaper and the other one is crying.
Different people feel differently about this. So definitely let the helper know what is off limits, because she cannot read your mind. However, accept the fact that having a helper means a loss of privacy whether you are at home or not.
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we're going away soon for 6 days and leaving the helper in the house. since she's already done the 'big' cleaning tasks for CNY, she won't need to re-line cupboards and drawers etc. so we trust that she'll keep herself productive somehow. we're also going to allow her to turn on the telly if she wants to.
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"but what does everyone think about not allowing her out for 6 days....the reason is that we don't want her 'wandering' around the streets and in case she catches a cold or something... "
Are you serious? Even criminals and dog's get out for exercise once a day..... For God's sake we are dealing with humans, people with feelings. PLEASE TREAT THEM WITH THE SAME LEVEL OF RESPECT AND DIGNITY THAT YOU WOULD EXPECT PEOPLE TO SHOW YOU.
SHAME ON YOU!!!!
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OK, re. privacy then my point would be that I think the OP should make clear to her helper what is and is not to be touched / tidied up. Yes, I do accept that there is a natural loss of privacy when one has a live-in helper, but apart from that I think my DH and me do a pretty good job of respecting each other's privacy as far as possible. I suppose she's seen, folded and put away my undies a few times, but most of the time I do it myself, so I wouldn't want her sorting out my underwear drawer. The sentence beginning 'nothing worse than' was a figure of speech, of course there are worse things that can happen.
Blessed - a shocking question! You cannot lock a person in for 6 days, think how lonely she'll be. Everyone needs to see another human being every day and talk for a bit - otherwise it's like being in solitary confinement. Chatting on the phone is not enough, your helper also needs fresh air and exercise daily, without which she is more likely to catch an infection due to weak immune system. Give her your door key, or give her a 6 day holiday outside of your home while you're away.
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supermfd2,
I've edited my post and I'll decide what is best for our situation. I was only asking for suggestions and I understand that this is a discussion forum so there's no need to get personal, THANK YOU! We treat our maid with due respect. She's happy, healthy and paid well (if this is a concern for some) and never has it occured to me to compare her (or any helper) to any dog or criminal!
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make sure you tell them your policies on having visitors over if you leave town.
they might invite friends over for a sleepover or a cook- over etc. while you are away so you must be clear on what your position on this is.
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From what I read it seems you have good advice. I work with the Filipino community as a missionary of sorts here. Alot depends on your finances. If you like her give her a short trip home. The one thing is Do make it clear of the rules on guests. It is also possible for her to do part time jobs while you are away for extra money. The choice is really up to you. But Please be a kind boss I know some bosses do leave on vacation and say they will pay then not pay cause they didnt have work for the helper to do.
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the helper also needs a break! Most of these comments I hear are definitely from those with very local mentallity! You treat them with respect and they show respect, I know some have given their profession and community a bad name but then which community/ profession doesn't have a few bad apples! I'm just hired a helper and she only works 5 days a week..and we made it clear that if we go on holiday, she too can take it easy (i.e go out meet friends etc) as long has she ensure the house is in order. Don't expect 5 star treatment when you pay peanuts! Anyways, I read some good comments too.....the rest I leave it up to your on judgement!
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"'m just hired a helper and she only works 5 days a week..and we made it clear that if we go on holiday, she too can take it easy (i.e go out meet friends etc) as long has she ensure the house is in order."
Very true. When we are away we expect our helper to put her feet up a bit. We trust her to act like an adult, but we don't need her to stay busy 100% of the time. If she wants to chill out a bit what's the big deal? As long as the work gets done.
"make sure you tell them your policies on having visitors over if you leave town.
they might invite friends over for a sleepover or a cook- over etc. while you are away so you must be clear on what your position on this is."
Good advice. At least have a chat with her about it.
"If you like her give her a short trip home. "
This is nice but many don't want to go home that often, because they get stuck paying for everything once they are there.
"Don't expect 5 star treatment when you pay peanuts!"
A bit off topic but it is true many employers would do well to raise helper pay over minimum if they can. You get what you pay for.
" I know some bosses do leave on vacation and say they will pay then not pay cause they didnt have work for the helper to do."
That's both illegal and reprehensible. It is not the helper's fault the employer doesn't have work for her...
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thanks for your comments - any others out there who can think of things they get their helpers to do when they are away??
Many of your suggestions, Cara, either are already being done as part of our weekly schedule, or are things that I would rather do, or we already pay someone else to do - eg we have a service contract for air con and I wouldnt be comfortable with our helper climbing a ladder to reach the air con units unless there is someone else in the house in case she was to slip. So I am still on the search for other ideas.
Yes I agree that our helper should have a rest too as she will have to deal with us all being jetlagged and grouchy when we get back and everyone benefits from a few days off - but I know that if she isnt busy she gets bored and as she has only been with us a short while I dont really like to leave her to find things to do as I am not confident she wouldnt step over my comfort lines, just because she doesnt know us well enough to know completely where those are.
Also the sitting down to discuss expectations and give clear instructions on things not done before are extremely helpful.
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Things for the heler to do while you're away:
- put the curtains & net curtains in the washing machine, or take them to the dry cleaners if they are not machine washable
- any sewing / mending
- if you have children, wash their car seat covers & also the pushchair
- take a first aid course / cookery course, e.g. at the YWCA
- you could lend her some of your books on cookery, childcare, about things you want her to know
- she could bake some pies, make home-made soups and freeze the whole lot so you have some 'convenience food' ready if you ever need it, e.g. on her day off
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"- take a first aid course / cookery course, e.g. at the YWCA"
Excellent suggestion.
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You must be sooooo careful. I have a friend who now always banishes her helper back to the Phillipines (she is very rich). She told me one time she came home and one of her helpers was using her stuff, THE AIRCONDITIONERS and even caught her sleeping in her kids bed!!!!
It took her a long time to get over the awful feeling that someone you thought you could trust would violate you so badly. She wanted to leave hongkong to go back to the US where people treat you with some respect for a long time but I managed to talk her out of it.
Also make sure you lock up EVERYTHING before you go away. One time I came back and of course I forgot to lock up the toiletries and the soap and shampoo and toilet roll had clearly been used whilst I was away. Nothing is safe - even down to the light bulbs.
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different employers have different rules about what helpers are allowed to use. i also think frankie you were probably kidding about the toilet rolll. as for shampoo and soap if it's just supermarket brand (like mine) i wouldn'd mind helper using it (though my helper normally gets her own and if one day she wants to use mine i'd expect that she asks first). if on the other hand it's some luxurious stuff i can understand why people would be bothered by others using it without permission.
i certainly don't mind if my helper uses aircon, but honestly i will go nuts if she sleeps on my bed. it's not about hygiene but about the sense of privacy. it's a home and not a hotel; nobody other than my husband, my baby and myself ever sleeps on my bed.
a side note about aircon -- my helper seems to have a very high tolerance of heat but is very afraid of coldness. in the past summer she slept in the same room as my baby and whenever the aircon was on she would pull on a thick quit. if we let her alone at home she would turn off all aircon as she said it's freezing.
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hmm i must be quite freaky about maintaining some level of privacy even with a live-in helper. i don't let my helper wash or organize my underwear; i do it all myself (BTW, even if she washes it she's not supposed to wear it; maybe a bit of exaggeration but just by analogy though she changes my bed sheet i won't feel comfortable if she (or anyone other than hubby and baby) sleeps on it). i always make sure i don't leave anything embarassing in the toilet for my helper to clean up. i never get changed in front of my helper. i agree that getting mad over toilet paper is a bit too much but as for my bed, i just personally view it very private and we have guests sleep on the guest bed and helper sleep on her own bed and hope they follow that.
about the fear of coldness -- probably due to their growing up in a very hot climate all year round.
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sleeping on your bed is not about privacy, it is about respect - an answer to one of the comments. Frankiehk - what do u mean by banishes - terminate is it?
make a list on what you want her to accomplish and tell her to enjoy
her days while you are out of town. Make sure you make it a point that she
understand your houserules.
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flat hunt, don't disagree with your point about how helper should be treated generally. the exaggeration about underwear was in the context of a discussion about whether people feel comfortable for helper (or other people) to sleep on their bed and how much privacy you can still expect with a live-in helper. some do and some don't; that's all fine and within reason. i made the analogy just to say that for me, just because my helper cleans or organizes some of my stuff it doesn't mean i feel comfortable if she uses it because i view it very personal. (and as said i don't even have my helper wash my underwear). this was in response to some other comments, not that it has actually happened. and don't get me wrong by extending what's said; my helper is free to use almost everything we buy in bulk for the family be it tissue paper or toilitries unless she favors something else. i was only talking about stuff that i view very personal that i want others to stay off limit; others may have different view about what they care and what they don't, which is all fine. some other example of borderline cases which some people care and some don't may include bath towel, cup, etc. whether one shares these items with a helper (BTW, i don't share but i gave my helper a set of her own) does not make one a nice or mean employer so maybe better to respect each other's choice instead of trying to demonstrate one way is definitely right or wrong.
thanks
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