Posted by
miming
18 yrs ago
2468 you are exactly right,Once I passed through to the group of Helper I overheard them laughing about the employer undies stories,some stories really disgusting.Mine?I washed them first before throwing it to our hamper.
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What a sad and boring life it must be when the highlight of the week is joking about someones underwear.
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my experience w/ my then former madame number 2, I leave her used undies under the covers (where she left them) for her to retrieve them when she goes back to sleep the following night. if one day I will need a helper I wouldn't allow her to do anything in my bedroom, they will know also if Monsieur et Madame ont fait l'amour hier soir ou pas :-)I myself will not be confortable knowing that other people sees how my used undies are, why not use pantyliners?
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What??? Who's mother didn't change and wash their soiled children's underwear? You hire a domestic helper who cleans your toilet ... why are underwear so special? Its a domestic chore. When I didn't have a live-in I took ALL my laundry to cleaner to clean and now I have a very good machine for the DH to use. And anyone silly enough to gossip about it should look to their own underwear, anyone silly enough to be embarrassed by it should well...get used to being human.
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I wouldn't mind washing my kids undies as well as my mom's, but will conscious giving mine to others even to my sisters. when we care enough to our personal hygiene or when we care too much how our floors cleaned I think we better start on how our undies be washed. I will really mind what people in the playground thinks especially if one is too particular about cleanliness. Better stock up on pantyliners ladies :-)
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Yes I hired my DH to do all my wash. And before her I took my underwear out to a cleaner. So what. Its just clothing. If my job were washing cloths I would have no problem with undies. the question about if I would wash the DH's undies is absurd as that is not my job.
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Excuse me, but it seems you are looking down at teh DH...demeaning tehir very important work. Do you have the DH change the baby any diapers?
But if your underwear is really so dirty that you are embarrassed I suggest you take better care of your personal hygiene. The disgusting part of this is that some people who are too embarrassed to have their underwear washed by their helper may have terrible personal hygiene.
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If it bothers you that much, why not just go commando?
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Are you people getting outraged about a DH washing other people's knickers the same people who won't let their DH use the washing maching in case she contaminates it with her own underwear? Just wondering...
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No Geiboi I think we are talking to mostly domestic helpers who want to be beauty queens and/or people may have some personal phobias/issues to work out with therapists, but since therapists are expensive the choose to gossip.
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its obvious a lot of us here are having a boring and sad sunday eh? in general washing dirty laundries is part of domestic chores, its a matter of education for some ladies who doesn't have any care of the world to just leave their used undies anywhere like still tangled w/ their jeans in w/c doesn't take a second to put it in the hamper. Truly its not pleasant for someone not related to us to see our stained/used undies, of course many will insist that people who work in laundries/hospitals/plumbers etc have to these dirty jobs because they are paid for it as majority of helpers doesn't have any qualms doing dirty jobs either. I agree w/ Simplewife, Barbara30 and 2468, well at the end its a matter of one's choice, me? I will never let anyone wash my undies! have a nice sunday afternoon.
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cd
18 yrs ago
I do all the washing so its not an issue. But personally I wouldn't particularly want to wash other peoples undies.
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hkkm
18 yrs ago
I'm amazed that so many people are so knowledgable about the state of their own or other peoples dirty undies. I may notice the state of my own undies when I take them off, but I certainly don't inspect every pair of undies before I put it in the washing machine. I just sort them into a pile and put them in the machine. Washing undies is no more or less dirty a job than washing any other clothes.
Or do you all hand-wash your undies?
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What is all of the fuss about? I have had no DH for the majority of the time (although I have a fantastic one now), anyhow I have had about 20 guests stay this year (mixture of family and friends) and I have done all of their laundry. I have never been offended by throwing their underwear in the washing machine. That said, I have never been pathetic enough to inspect the state of their underwear.
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DHs live with the family for whom they work. They often play with their children, travel and eat out in restaurants with them. They are hardly strangers. All they have to do is separate colours from whites. Like I said, I have done laundry for friends as well as family. Two of these friends stayed with 'new' girlfriends (I had never met them before), so guess that they qualified as strangers. I tend to assume that people have reasonable standards of personal hygiene, and don't waste my time trying to disprove this theory.
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ritad
18 yrs ago
i don't understand, i always put all my clothes in thehamper..and she throws into the wasahing machine...all together..no selecting and all, sometimes i put it into the machine, and also...but maybe twice a year i leave the clothes in the washroom she has to pick up...but usually a bunch, not just undies..if just undies i make sure i put into the hamper myself...rest,,,,what is the big issue, you don't ask your helper to handwash them or touch them...???
my helper ask if i want to handwaqsh my undies and brar,,i said no....if i have to do so..i will do those myself..not thebrar but undies for sure...
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Yes, barbara30, she is doing it as a job. As ritad said, she does a lot of the laundry, so unless she is inspecting every item in detail, all she needs todo is separate colours from whites.
My point was not that she is part of the family, I must confess that we do not treat her as such. I do, however have adult conversations about our respective lives with her (I often spend a lot of time with her prepring food for parties etc., it would be strange not to have the odd conversation), she eats with us when we are in restautrants, but not at home etc. The point (in response to 2468's question) is that we are hardly strangers. However, as CitySlicker pointed out above, there are lots of people whose job it is to do strangers' laundry (warts and all). The job is as unpleasant as you want it to be; if you want to examine the gorey details, then sure, it could be grim!
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Fair enough. In our house, I have learned to separate washing into 3 different baskets (whites, colours and delicates) for a similar reason (some very expensive hot wash mistakes by my first helper). I often handwash or treat the children's clothes with Vanish as I take them off (chocolate ice cream never comes out unless treated right away). Maybe that is why I do not think that it is a big deal; it is a case of emptying each basket into the machine. A bit of consideration goes a long way, but a helper still has a job to do. Let's face it though - if you are the type of person who is happy to leave your underwear in your bed, you are not going to be bothered what your helper thinks of it.
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I am convinced. Asking a helper to do the laundry is too disgusting and personal. Sure the undies ting is bad enough, but you know all those other cloths touched you as well. There covered in perspiration and skin cells and probably even mites! ewww! Plus It is unfair to have the DH clean the toilets. They are covered in fecal bacteria and therefore are disgusting and a health risk as well. Marketing? No Way! Do you know how many germs are in raw foods? Disgusting and dangerous as well. Exact same thing with cooking...touching all those raw foods is disgusting and dangerous...plus you add the danger of sharp knives and hot stoves! Also anytime she has to leave here room she may come into contact with disgusting humans who could contaminate her. Better to have the DH stay in her room all day...it is safer and we will not risk causing her offence.
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This is a fantastic thread -- people certainly do have strong opinions on this subject. Does anyone agree with me that the main point to be learned from all the exchanges is to have a bit of consideration for the helpers who do so much for us?
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I honestly think this is a bizarre thread. Laundry is laundry. You are only asking her to put the items in the machine. This is her job. I don't think in an interview I need to mention every little task I will expect her to, just in case she objects to it. My helper is expected to do all basic household tasks, and I am happy for her to buy whatever materials/equipment she needs to do these tasks. If she wants to use rubber gloves and tongs to handle my dirty washing then that is fine by me.
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a.m.
18 yrs ago
Iam a domestic helper and its been fun reading all these debate. I have been in this job for ten years now and have worked with different employers. And I never had an employer wahed their disgusting underwears. Not just a simple stain or marked but disgusting staines. And sorry to say but one does not have to inspect its very obvious. There are a lot of employers who are very dirty(the word I will use)to us domestic helpers meaning used condoms are all over the master's bedroom, used underwear on the floor or under the pillows in the masters' bedroom,so as used tissues everywhere. Now you tell me City Slicker is this a good standard of cleanlinees/hygiene. There is no doubt it is our job to do evrything that needs to be done in the house. But to me you sound like you have no consideration the benifit of the helper.
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a.m.
18 yrs ago
I salut those employers who are considerate to their helpers and again disgusting underwaers are ours to clean and my plea is will you put them in the humper and not lying anywhere. And oh, yes there is a big difference for us domestic helper between your disgusting unedrwaer and the rest of your clothing. Just like there is a big difference between your armpit and your face although they are both partof your body.
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I have to say that if I found that my helper was writing on a public website about the state of my underwear (or actually about pretty much anything about my private life) she would be on the next flight out of HK. There are two sides to every working relationship.
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No there would just be a reduction of poor and indiscreet helpers in Hong Kong while there would be plenty who knew to mind their business, which is in part protecting the privacy of their employer.
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Hmmm miss P you think anyone's online identity is really that secure? Never heard of identity theft or Internet crime? Besides its just unproductive and infantile gossip from someone who seems to dislike being a domestic helper.
Telling us about her employers personal affairs does not help her in any way. It is private and should be kept so.
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The point is that when you employ a domestic helper she becomes aware of every detail of your life. I do not expect my helper to be gossiping to her friends about my salary, my personal habits, my sex life, my underwear, etc. It is a position that requires trust and discretion.
It is not about identity stealing, but the fact is that people do tend to use the same usernames on different websites, and so of course nothing that you write here is confidential. If I found my helper gossiping to my neighbours about my personal issues it would be the same.
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while it is acceptable for employers to talk whatever about their employees/DHs like barbara30 said and of course having the upperhand that DHs cannot fire them as employers can do as Geiboyi mentioned if she ever finds out her DH telling about her dirty laundry, you cannot stop them from telling otherwise just because you're the employer. If you start to care what people will learn about your private life/personal issues then be conscious and considerate. Its quite simple just put those used undies in the hamper, doing it you will get good points, not only employers are entitled to give points to their employees.
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july8
18 yrs ago
Why don't you just install a bidet in your toilet ?????AND USE IT?would be more pleasent for everyone.
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I wonder how many of you people posting outraged replies here have ever had to do any kind of real work in your lives...
As a teenager I worked in fast food restaurants, every day cleaning toilets that thousands of people had used, some in not the most sanitary of ways. I've now been working in hotels for 10 years - I wonder how much consideration a lot of you have for the chambermaid when you're on holiday - trust me, we are talking about a lot worse than some normally used panties...
I realise that those of you who wash your own underwear (gasp!) think that you are doing your helpers some great big favour, but really - what is the big deal?
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And the point is, it is a normal part of that job. It is no more or less disgusting than any job. But it is part and parcel of the job. I spend many days eviscerating birds, fish and meat for your dining pleasure...and yes sometimes (when our staff is not strong enough to take it) I am the one cleaning up the public mess in our toilets...because it is just a job that needs to be done.
Clearly Barbara30 you don't equate this with theft do you? And how is it Bad treatment? Just because you say so? Well I am fairly certain that if we took a broad poll the general consensus is that you are misguided.
The reason for the debate is that you (and a few helpers) have unilaterally condemned a large portion of employers as A. dirty (because you appear to have a phobia about normal work, normal bodies nomal cloting and normal job tasks). B. Unkind and terrible to our employees; all because you think your underwear is disgusting (this has to be about your underwear because you have never seen mine).
Get over it.
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zalca
18 yrs ago
what a truly mad subject to be posting on!!!!!!!!! god help you ladies/gents that you ever have to nurse someone. (although knowing you guys you will probably say that you have all nursed someone for 10 years already and this is totally different!) ;)
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i have been a nurse for 14 years and have clean countless faecal matter, urine and body fluids from patients. i have even touched faeces with my bare hands when accidents happened. it may be disgusting but i don't complain because it's part of my job and my patients are always very grateful after i have clean them up. it's just part of the job. hope nobody attacked me on this................
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Exactly. Part of the job.
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zalca
18 yrs ago
yes, that's exactly it- it goes with the job...
i think you should all move on from this subject. it's a risk of becoming a bit ridiculous now.
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Undies are clothing. Washing them should be like washing any other clothes.
If they ae stained then people ( employers or employees) would & should have the decency to rinse them, that is what personal hygeine is all about.
I dont see why maids should have them as a topic of discussion & gossip (I am sure there are more intelligent & interesting topics to discuss).
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ShazP
18 yrs ago
well said sheldonf.....
you sure hit the nail on the head!
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after all these replies I wonder if st123 has finally decided to wash/rinse her undies?
The difference of doing dirty jobs elsewhere (we don't live w/ the person everyday ) whereas DHs live w/ their employers, like raising our children they look up to us as models/examples, same when dealing w/ DHs we tell/show them how we want things to be done, I'm sure if employers care more about what's in their bedrooms/bathrooms helpers will do the chores, follow the orders w/out any ill-feelings!
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The point I would like to make is that complaining about what is a normal domestic chore ( no matter how much you don't like it) marginalises the other much more relevant and real helper complaints.
I am sure there are helpers in hong kong that are treated unfairly and even poorly. But having to do the laundry and clean up the bedroom is a normal domestic chore. If that is too much for someone they should seriously think about a new line of work. Just as a surgery resident who finds they are a hemophobe should not be a surgeon.
Would you take such a person seriously if they started complaining about all the patients messily dripping their blood everywhere? Expecting the patients to close and clean themselves?
The helpers who complain about normal work tasks in boy-cry-wolf style reduce the sympathy to more serious complaints
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I have serious doubt "a.m." is really a domestic helper, if she is she is giving her fellow DHs a bad name. Most of them are educated and decent, "a.m." talks like a trailer trash.
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meiji
18 yrs ago
Very interesting replies here.....
I just wanted to say:
1) Domestic Helpers are... what they are "HELPERS". They are NOT slaves. Therefore, in our household, they are treated with utmost respect, they are NO less worthy of respect than any of us in the household.
2) Although Helpers are "employed" by employers (like us), they are NOT the same type of employees as in the office, retail stores, corporations..... DHs are actually in a very unique and all separate sector as an employee. Lile someone said previously, their job requires utmost confidentiality and discretion of much household "intimate" details and privacy.
Therefore, as an employer, we must respect this.
3) I do not think DH has NO bottom line in their job duties. I disagree the underwear (soiled) as PART Of the normal laundry. Just like sanitary napkins, condoms, bloodstained items, diabetic needles...etc... are NOT part of the normal garbage items. When disposing, one should dispose these with consideration for others. One cannot say, oh the garbage man has responsibility to throw it out for you.... or the cleaning lady in the public ladies' washroom shouldn't have to clean up after your sanitary napkin lying around in a stall, or blood left from your period...etc.
Or, a housekeeping staff of a hotel.... I am sure they see ALL kinds of stuff..... if one was a "considerate" hotel guest, you would be considerate enough NOT to make a mess that is impossible to clean up.... I think this needs no further explanation.
When I travel, I ensure my garbage are all in a plastic bag, tied up... just before I leave my room for the housekeeping to come in. This means, no underwear lying around, no personal hygiene items, no evidence of any "personal" hygiene mess....etc.
4) If you expect the helper to be "clean" and aware of HER OWN "personal hygiene".... then as an employer, you must set the standards high. The helper will NOT deviate far from your standards... b/c she will know it's not acceptable for you if it's less than what YOU do yourself.
5) I personally wash my own panties. There is NEVER a mess in our bathrooms, our bed, or in the garbage. We always remember, our helper is there to maintain the household, and to clean. Not to have to be forced to expose herself to ALL kinds of lifestyle details and personal hygiene details of ours.....I would find it VERY uncomfortable for our helper to be around, and I know that she knows when my husband and I were intimate, or when I am having my menstrual cycle, or when I am having diarrhea.....
Ultimately, helpers shouldn't have to do tasks that crosses the "personal intimate" hygiene details and boundaries of an employer.
Just my two cents.
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Whats with muslims and dog walking? I didn't know that was a thing...maybe thats why the indonestains I interviewd seemed unhappy.
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Humph...never knew that...thanks. It seems odd to me that either a prophet...or the god who's words were being recorded would spend any time on deeming particular animals of creation as "unclean" when if I were on the line with a divine being I would certainly have much more pressing matters to ferret out.
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