Posted by
Tung Chung
18 yrs ago
I would like to know what the average time is that your DH works - Starts and finishes every day. Our DH starts work at 8pm and finishes around 6pm. I would like to ask her to work an extra hour. Is this unreasonable?
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Can you compare one position to another? Take for instance the DH who gets kids ready for school, cooks breakfast does some cleaning in the day but has a few hours rest in the afternoon before cooking the family meal. Is she working say 7-9pm? No as she has time off in the day. Some have no break in the day but finish at 7pm or some at 10pm so they work longer. Some look after 3 kids others none, some have a family that includes elderly folks to look after some just one person. Bottom line is you must decide as the employer not someone else.
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I understand that is it a personal decision based on duties involved but I don't want to be unreasonable hense the question. Our DH is basically in charge of household chores only - cleaning, washing and ironing and sometimes cooks one meal a day. We have two children but as I stay at home and don't work I almost always look after both kids all day unless I leave one sleeping with our DH while I take the other one out (both kids under age 2) Our DH has about 30 - 45 min in which to eat her lunch. The rest of the time she does general cleaning. Unreasonable to ask her to stay another hour?
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Completely reasonable - give her a bit of notice, as a courtesy (sorely lacking here, with bosses that expect employees to drop all other plans with no notice if something work-related comes up at the end of the day... - I'm talking about other jobs, not DHs). It sounds like her job is not too tough - and actually it shouldn't take her 10 hours a day to do general cleaning - another option would be to get her to change her working routine so she gets more done in less time.
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mine start at 7/7.30, and sometimes when i weak up at midnight for my baby i found here still ironing. she really work for long time i dont know how she do. may be she sleep during the day when i m out. but she had to look after my baby(22months)
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Thanks for all your replies. We have managed to work something out with our DH based on her duties. I'm amazed at how hard some DH's are expected to work and just hope their employers show their appreciation.
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Just a thought here (although I realize the issue has been resolved) - my helper has just left to go home at 9pm, after starting at 7am. The 800-ft flat is not particularly clean, our one child is well cared for but I doubt has done anything especially exciting/messy/troublesome today, I cooked dinner for us all... Working hours do not mean a lot. My helper chooses to work incredibly slowly - I would prefer for her to finish at 6.30 when I get home, but she chooses to faff around for another 2 1/2 hours. My son sleeps for at least 2 hours after lunch, which should give her ample time to do everything.
And this is not a case of me just abandonning a new maid with everything and expecting ehr to get on with it - I have taken time to train her, show her things again and again, write lists, and so on. She is not a bad helper - but really, you mustn't assume that a helper who works long hours is harder working than one who doesn't.
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some input, some helpers prefers to work slow as they can to show their employers they are hardworking and not seen doing nothing, I know am not helping helpers w/ this comment but its true.
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I know - this is a HK thing, my office colleagues do the same. But it's really annoying - I do not want someone clattering around my kitchen at 9pm. My helper is also not doing herself any favours if this is how she is thinking, as I am expecting another baby and from what I can see, there is no way she will even begin to cope with 2 children around. I know plenty of people in the UK with 3 or 4 children, a big house, a garden, dogs, hobbies, friends, and still manage to keep things under control without paid help. This 'oh poor overworked helper' thing is silly.
I've worked in hotels, restaurants, bars, fast food places, farms, factories - if in any of these places it took DH-time to get things cleaned up at the end of the day then the real business would never happen. I've cleaned kitchens which have served fried breakfasts for 500 people in less time than it takes my helper (and 2 previous helpers) to clean mine.
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Tiger03... I think your posting was excellent. You make complete sense. Just for the record, I didn't want my helper to stay an extra hour just because I thought she was working less than everyone elses helpers. I just felt that the time of evening when she was finishing work was the busiest of the day - getting kids fed, bathed and ready for bed, sorting out dinner, packing away toys, cleaning up after everyone etc. I ended up racing around trying to get everything done while she was finished for the day hense the original question. However, after chatting we have come to an agreement that she can start later and finish slightly later so everyone is happy. I am really happy with her work and see no reason to work her overtime when she completes her duties to my satisfaction in less time. Rather keep her happy and rested so she can work at her maximum capacity and help me as much as possible.
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bw
18 yrs ago
geiboyi - I have the exact same problem you seem to be having. There isn't much to do and my helper not only seems to be taking too long to do it, she even gets no ironing done on most days. I have an almost 5 yr old who doesn't need much baby sitting - besides I do everything for him that needs doing. So how long does it take to cook one meal a day and tidy up the house ! As for not knowing how long it takes to do things - this is the first time I have any help at all - I used to do much more than she does when my baby was small. Thought with another baby on the way, the two of us will easily get everything done but I'm having doubts now. My part-timer got a lot more done in 3 hours than she gets done in 10 ! I'd be more than happy if she finished off early and took off in the evening for a walk or whatever. Now she seems to be working non-stop till from 7am to 9pm and there's still a thick layer of dust over my computer. Must say though she's improved a bit from the early days. And this after I took ample time to train her for 3 whole months - one thing at a time !!
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Sadly I don't think it is. Of course your helper should wash her dishes and clothes seperately from yours, who knows what you might catch from her (or she from you). And of course she mustn't lock her bedroom door...
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I have the same but opposite situation to you geiboy. I also work in your industry and so have later than office hours. My peaceful mornings have become a routine over 25 years that is essential in preparing me for a 12 hour day of meeting, greeting, crowds, and stress. I expressly do not want any activity during the morning. But every helper seems to feel the need to do make work, no matter how often they are asked not to. The house is empty from noon to 8pm every day and we have no kids just the 2 of us; so they have plenty of time to do all our chores and take a nice lunch break. But every morning I have to ask for quiet and have to dodge and weave around busy helpers in the kitchen and corridor. Why why why why why. Gao Meng Ah!!!
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