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People who have two helpers

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ORIGINAL POST
Posted by jingaling 18 yrs ago
Hi all, I'm contemplating of having a second helper. My current helper is getting old, 53 years old, and looks to me to be feeling very tired taking care of my 2 year old.
 
I will have another little one on the way in November. I'm just afraid that she won't be able to handle everything when the time comes. My husband and I both need to work, and he sometimes even travels on the weekend.
 
So, it seems like a 2nd helper makes sense at least for the first half year after the new baby is born. But not sure how it is having two helpers together? Do they have interesting dynamics? Are the children more easily spoiled if there are two helpers?
 
I had bad experience with the previous helper stealing and running back to Philippines, so I'm very cautious in having more helpers.
 
Thanks for your input!
 
 
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COMMENTS
zalca 18 yrs ago
hiring a relative can be a good and a bad thing. either way you need to meet/talk to the relative and make sure she/he will fit in well into your family. :)

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geiboyi 18 yrs ago
I would avoid the family member - in fact I would choose 2 different nationality helpers.

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mochie99 18 yrs ago
Yes, I agree with geiboyi. Having two helpers with the same nationality would mean having disagreements even on very small issues(somtimes they will feel like you're going to terminate her because the other maid's performance is better than hers) or they might connive with each other (like stealing or lying to you especially when something wrong has been done). I'd prefer having maids of different nationalities. They won't have much disagreement and both will have the initiative to do their work as best as they can.

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Katetam 18 yrs ago
My experience is different. I have two helpers, they are sisters. I have a friend who also employed two helpers, aunt, and a niece.

We are extremely pleased with the two helpers, and would do anything to renew their contracts so long as they are willing to. They are disciplined, clean, knowledgeble in food safety, and child care, and one does cooking, one does cleaning, each one takes care of one child ( I have two)....
 
They divide up their tasks on their own, and it's never a problem who does what. Holiday is always one on Saturday, and one on Sunday. They do it alternately. It's perfect arrangement. The older and more experienced sister trained the second one b/c the second one came just 1 year ago when I got pregnant with my second.
 
We are very happy with her now...she's very detailed, and my kids like both of them very much.


I have two friends who tried to have one Indonesian and one Filipina.... one helper always terminated within 3 months. They couldn't get along ... b/c usually they have to sleep bunk beds in one room.
 
Always fighting who gets off which holiday, who forgot to do it, something is missing.... problems go on and on....... always jealous of the other....


Just my experience and opinion.

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etnad 18 yrs ago
You need not hire two helpers if you're cautious in having more than one. You can hire a new helper, younger, and more able to handle physically all that needs to be done. Your present helper is nearing retirement age and she would understand if you get her a replacement when her contract expires.

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Katetam 18 yrs ago
It's POSSIBLE, but 1 helper to take care of a new-born, and a 2 year old is kind of stretching it... at least in the first year, I think you need two people at home all the time. My toddler is in need of attention all the time, and needless to say, a newborn, even more so.


Many of my friends who had babies within 2 years (like me)... hire two helpers, until the little one is at least 2years old, then back to one helper. (If the mom has to work outside the home).

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zeta 18 yrs ago
I work full time and have 2 little ones at home (5 and 2). I hired my 2nd helper when I was pregnant with my second child. I find having 2 helpers gives me peace of mind - like katetam said the little one is in need of attention all the time and the older one often has after school activities/palydates. I would be worried if the helper has to go around town with both kids.

My 2 helpers are friends, the 2nd one was recommended by the 1st. I personally prefer hiring relatives or friends (many of my friends have made similar hire and have no problems) as they generally get along, divide up the tasks themselves, agree on holidays etc. This will also avoid jealousy issue.

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maryland 18 yrs ago
Another aspect you need to consider if employing two helpers from different countries is the possible difference in their religious background (and the associated cultural behaviours).


Remember they may well have to share a room / bathroom / food / lifestyle and you will expect them (for the good of the children) to get on and be good friends. However with the potential strong beliefs of for example a practising Muslim living with a practising Christian this may and often does lead to two very unhappy helpers, especailly if there is a lack of senstivity from either one of them toward the others beliefs.


Of course it is not impossible to find two helpers from different countries but of the same religious persuasion! -


Just something to bear in mind

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abitnaive 18 yrs ago
hi

if your helper is to be sharing a room with the second helper you are employing, it is considerate to get her input as to who you hire, even to go with her recommendation.


while as employees we have no control over who our employers hire, being instant roommates with a total stranger is a difficult situation, particularly if there are cultural and language barriers as maryland mentioned.


we have two helpers and they are related. it has worked very well. my husband and i said that the division of work was up to them, that we did'nt want to hear about any squabbles, we were hiring a TEAM, and they needed to make it work. they have.


regarding your question are the children more easily spoiled if there are two helpers, i think that has a lot to do with how the helpers approach the children. for example, if the child throws a toy and the helper runs to pick it up, yes, there is a danger of the child becoming spoiled. however, if you lay down clearly to your helper what boundaries you want them to work along when it comes to child rearing, i think you will find it works very satisfactorily. our helpers follow our rules (ie: older child makes own bed, all kids carry dishes to the kitchen after meals and put pajamas under pillow after they change into their day clothes.) stuff like that.


hope this helps, good luck to you and congratulations on your upcoming baby!

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