I have a 2 year old and am a full time working mother. When I'm at work, my son is now under the sole care of my DH.
My DH's contract is due to expire end of October. I do not wish to renew for all sorts of reasons and am waiting for the immigration department to issue the visa (expected to be around mid-Oct) for my new DH.
For the past 2 weeks, my existing DH has been asking me if I would renew her contract. I do not want to upset her by telling her that I don't wish to renew, especially when my son's wellbeing is under her control when I am at work.
My father died recently and I do not have any other family members here who can keep an eye on my existing DH.
Do you have any advice on what to tell DH when she next ask me if I want to renew?
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You have to tell her. Imagine if your boss suddenly called you up and told you not to come into work as you had been replaced. Would you find that acceptable?
Are you assuming that your DH will treat your son badly if she knows her contract is not being renewed? Have you not trusted her enough to look ater him for the past 2 years?
Give her one month's notice, as you are legally required to do. If she really doesn't want to work it or you suddenly don't trrust her any more, then give her a month's pay and tell her to go. If you don't give her a decent amount of notice how is she supposed to find another job? I assume you know that she has 2 weeks after her contract/employment ends to find another job or she needs to leave HK. Perhaps she too has family to support.
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a.m.
18 yrs ago
you trusted her for two years and now you do not trust her anymore? If you can nor really trust her why it took to long for you to let her go? First of all there is not any two weeks after the contract is finished. I know this because I have been in such situation. And now you are lingering to tell her not to renew the contract and it ends in a few more days. You cheated her and you are selfish, because now that you can not do anything but to tell her because the new one is coming. with two weeks it is difficult to find a new employment if that is if the ID will extend her stay that long ussually ID will only give two days for us to prepare and leave the country.
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MayC
18 yrs ago
a.m., I understand that in the point of view of the helper, it is selfish not to let the helper know our plans in advance if we are planning to terminate or if we are planning not to renew... but we are also afraid that should we tell them, they may retaliate and do something to our kids. A 2 year old (like my daughter) can't yet tell mummy what's going on.
Yes we trust our helpers for 2 years or however long, but that's because we had them under contract... but when they hear we no longer want them, what if things turn ugly?
I know not all helpers are bad and probably the majority are really good peole... but it's a risk to us as employers that if our helpers don't take the news sensibly, harm may be done to our kids. Not saying that it will happen, but what if.....?
I understand both sides..... but it's a tough call and as a mother, I would rather be called selfish to protect my own child...
I don't know whether this is the right attitude or not, though.... as I've said, I'm quite new to this too.
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My thoughts exactly, beancurd!
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Am sure your helper smart enough to guess that you are not renewing her contract. Else, you would have tell her upfront either with/out her asking. She just need to get the confirmation from you to move on. Don't you think if she means to harm your kid she wouldn't do it right now or even before?
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a.m.
18 yrs ago
I understand your point mayc but let me assure you all employers that we can not harm your kids in anyway because we understand the consequence and we do not want to be in such a position. And we only take revenge on employers who are mean like shouting and pointing at us and very angry at a menial things on a daily basis as I have experience, embarassing us infront of other people or outside the work place. What do we do you do not want to know but for harming the kids no way! Specially if we are the ones who sees this child grow from newbor to whatever stage.
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a.m. - you are not doing helpers any favours here by saying, yes, you do 'take revenge' on employers who upset you, but doing things that you are not even able to mention here.
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agree with geiboyi, a.m, you are giving helpers a very bad name.
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a.m., just out of curiosity, what do you do???
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Thank you all for your comments.
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etnad
18 yrs ago
The reason of your maid's asking the question is for her to be able to have THE TIME to find a new employer if you answered "no". Please have a heart.
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But please don't give her a good reference if she's rubbish - not fair to future employers.
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MayC
18 yrs ago
Oh no, I'm terminating mine with the reasons I've given in my other posts....and I feel guilty because I know she has to support her daughter... I was told to terminate her on the 26th of October (the day her contract has to be renewed) and then just let her go the same day or a few days later if she wants to say goodbye to my little girl. Her call..... but would this be harsh then... if as a.m. says it's not that easy to find employment in 2 weeks.
I'm not going to tell her the truth of why I'm terminating her. I'm just going to say MIL will look after my daughter because we've looked at the hours I'm away from home and it's not a lot. I will give her a good reference. I was going to tell her the truth but I changed my mind. It's just with the guilt and all.... and I'd rather that she leaves peacefully than with a grudge. But if she's unhappy and retaliates, then what?
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geiboyi
I know exactly what you mean. I will give the DM a reference letter and prospective employers can contact me if they are interested.
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