Helper wants to leave but owes money

I'd like your advice on my DH situation. After a death in her family, my helper has been depressed on-and-off. She has been with us a little over a year and owes us a few thousand dollars (US), which can't be really uplifting for her either! Most recently, she has gotten into a verbal confrontation with my mother and now says that she wants to leave (after I just advanced her half of her April's salary!).


I don't want someone working for me if she does not want to work for me as I have two young children to worry about. However, we are not made of money and I resent the fact that the money that she would not be paying back (if I fired her) could have been used for my kids.


Any advice?

A helper is your employee and has to be treated as one


Moobsy, that is the complete opposite to what you said in the DH staying out thread! So is it treat them like an employee, or treat them as a child?

Moobsy,


Your bank would be hard pressed to present that to a labour tribunal hearing should they act on even half of that. I am not a banker but an employer and I've seen employers dragged over the coals for rules such as this which are far removed from the labour rules in HK.

Thanks to all for the advice. I guess I just needed that extra little push ...!

to the OP.. its a shame that your helper owes you a lot of money. to be perfectly honest it is never a good idea to lend helpers too much money. (more than a monts pay).


it is not unheard of that some helpers would takee it out on the kids when they are not happy with their work situation but again it is not common either. the best thing to do is to write a letter stating what the helper owe and when. have her sign it. that way you will something you can fall back on incase she will claim that you didnt give her monies.


moobsy, i am appalled that you can get fired for what you do socially outside of office hours..i dont know if that rule really exist.. IMHO as long as your social activities dont interfere with your work you can do as you wish.. im sure a lot of people will agree to that.


i am a nanny and i have been to a lot of interviews where potential employers passed me over JUST because i have a boyfriend that lives in hk.. i mean that is personal. it is very discriminatory that they would base the whole hirirng process on the fact that thereis a chance that me being a woman may or may not get preggers.. on top of that one actually told me that she will have to make me sign a doc that stated if i get preggers while employed by her i will therefore forfeit all my benefits and pay for my own ticket back home. obviously i didnt take the job.

does anyone think that if all employers think like that woman (office boss or employers hirng maids/nannies) where would we be??


sorry to high jack the thread but its just so absurd..

Have you ever "as a employer" given this DH an evaluation?

Does your Mother live with you? Do you know both sides of the story about the verbal confrontation? I am asking this b/c many, many girls have told me they have HUGE problems when the Mother has one way of doing things with the kids that is VERY different from the employers. They feel caught in the middle. Of course, I don't know what the whole story is about this situation, but it seems to me that if a girl had a DEATH in the family she ought to feel somewhat depressed?!

We all talk about being employers, but are do we acting like an employer in situations like this? We all have some debt whether it be a car, school loans, etc. that we need to deal with. Because you are living together as an employee and employer I think you ought to suspend the idea that debt is a deal breaker.

Many of these girls are looked upon as the savior of their families and sometimes extended familes...they are the only one bringing in money. When someone dies, the expense of that is very large and a HK DH would be the common "to go" person to foot the bill.

I am soory for this situation, but please don't make a hasty decision.