one too many?

It all comes down to personal choice. When my daughter was one, I wasn't working, but I still had 2 helpers. That was my choice. I was simply very lazy and didn't want to do ANYTHING. What is wrong with that?

I find this a very odd post because it is a lot more common in Hong Kong to have two helpers than to live in a 3000sq ft flat! I suppose 95% of the people living in Hong Kong can only dream of living in a 3000 sq ft flat/house whereas households with both parents working and two young children could easily require two helpers. The only reason you don't see more two helper families is because it is too expensive to hire a second helper in most families (or there just isn't the space for two).

With 4 kids & a 2000 or 3000 Sq ft flat, one DH running the show would be far too much for her. Ask any DH that.

As for your neighbour, maybe you should ask her what she does as she has 2 DH? I am certain she is still a busy woman even with 2 DH's.

You mention that you yourself have a DH. Do you have kids here? Are you living alone? If you had kids here, then I am sure you would have a proper defined schedule for your DH even if you have a spouse at home all day.

It is not a status thing & if it was, I guess no harm in that if you have the money & space.

Mangotango...reading your new post...I understand what puzzles you.

The main problem I see in HK is the lack of day care centres & the few that are available...are very expensive for people to afford on a regular basis. That is why DH's are available to employ.

Babysitting is not common here at all either unless you know the babysitter well enough. They again are few & far between.

Expats here dont have family around who they can depend on if an emergency arises or even if the parents need an evening out, we dont have families to depend on to look after our little ones. Having a DH full time is cheap enough & you know you can depend on them as they need a visa & a job & you need them for various things. So that works both ways.

Lastly, expats get an expat package ( GENERALLY) so most of their housing, school, medical expenses are paid for & therefore they can afford 1 or 2 DH's.

Have to agree with spare rib hk. I suspect that with 4 children, she has a second DH to 'fill the gaps' between school runs, swimming classes, playgroups etc. I know quite a few people in HK with 2 helpers (one for housework and another for childcare), but most of them work.


I have only 2 children and 1 DH, which is generally plenty, but there have been odd times when I have understood the need for a second helper, when I have needed to be in 3 places at once. You just have to organise your time more carefully.


In London, we had creches and plenty of reliable babysitters, so one child was perfectly happy having supervised play in one room for 45 minutes or so, while I took the other swimming next door. Also, I have found people in HK less accepting of bringing a sibling to classes or playdates, often asking what my helper was doing. The same applies to doctors appointments. I always took my daughter to the doctor with me in London, I find myself having to explain why I have brought a child along when I do it here.


Have to agree with mangotango though, a second 'outsider' around the house would drive me insane, even if the cost is not the issue. Horses for courses, I guess.

Some helpers also do not want to be alone to take care of 4 kids + household chores, which is quite understandable. And even if one of the parent is not working it doesn't mean he/she is at home all day.


My husband is currently unemployed looking for a job, and although my salary is quite low, we have to keep our helper, otherwise how can my husband look for a job, attend interview, take some courses, and be ready to start a new job on short notice ?


The main problem with HK is that you don't get 'short-term' baby-sitting, creche etc. Your only option as a foreign family with no relatives around here is to hire 1 or 2 DH if you are working or engaged in a 'social activities'.

As far as I am concerned I wouldn't let anyone look after my kids if I could afford not to work, but that would be my choice only. The idea of having for 4 kids and still have the opportunity to be 'lazy' is quite tempting though !

I have two helpers, two kids, a dog, and a house that's over 2000 sq ft. My two helpers are so busy, they hardly have time to sit. As for me, I am so busy, and tired with so many errands, driving, working, and spending time with the kids, and ensuring their schedules and needs are met..... I realize it actually takes a lot of time, energy and experience to manage 2 helpers. I am thinking of hiring a third helper as when I am out to work for the afternoon, my helpers have to take care of 1 baby /child each, no one can cook. A chauffeur might be easier too.


So, it depends on your family's structure, routine, and workload, and how "active" and other needs your children are and have.


Hk is a place that never sleeps, our work hours are much longer, children's education and other activities are more competitive, transporation takes a long time (even short distances), and without a car, you definitely need a second pair of hands when out with a baby.


2 helpers is JUST ok for me with two kids under 3 years old and a dog.


I had a house in Canada 5000 sq ft, and a huge garden, but I only had part time helper twice a week. Back then, no kids yet. Back then, husband and my work hours end around 6:00pm each day. Back there in Canada, pace and people are less hurried. Back there, my family is there to help IF I had kids ... here, we're on our own.


I definitely DO NOT think having helpers is a status thing in HK. It's too cheap to hire a DH, what's the status in that? People buy handbags that costs over $ 20 000, that's almost 7 months' salary of a DH. Holding one of those "hard to get even if you had money" handbags... now , THAT's status.