Gossip from Domestic Helpers ~ Please help!

Why do you care about the gossips? As long as in your heart you know the truth and what they were talking about you are all lies! Some helpers and not only helpers like to gossip because they are bored and they have got nothing better to do but target some people and spread malicious gossips! Just pity them but if they started destroying your reputation or defamation of character then you better do something about it (legally) and don't let them get away with it.

are you still looking for a good helper?

Take a chill pill....the only issue you mention in your post is the gossip and I am assuming this is from others in your block as you say that stories are told when helpers come to work for you. You don't mention that your helper isn't hard working/honest so if the real issue is gossip by others, ignore it ! Who cares what other people say.

Hi Cats, I understand your frustrations. But like many heated debates in other threads, if you want to go to the media about the helpers in a negative light, then you also need to mention stories of nightmare employers. You need to think of your situation as an individual and not lump everyone into one category. I know you are upset and hurt by the gossips, but just like what the others above mentioned, you need to be strong and ignore them. They are just gossip. I am sure if you interview enough of them, you will find a helper wise and strong enough to know the truth. Good luck!

Gossiping is part of human nature, everyone has done it at some point. From your original post it sounds like you have been through a fair few helpers. I find it hard to believe that you have been unable to keep a helper purely because of gossip from other helpers where you live. Understandably, you wouldn't want to keep the ones who have stolen from you, or repeatedly lied to you, but if you have previously employed decent, honest, hard-working helpers and have shown a mutual respect for each other and have treated her well, then I can't see why any helper would leave an employer who is treating her well, just because of some idle gossip. Are you sure it is just the gossip from other helpers that is is making them leave your employment, and no other reasons? Sorry, I'm not trying to suggest that you are in the wrong here, and I do know that helpers can be terrible gossips about 'Sir & Maam', but to simply blame the gossips for you not being able to keep a helper seems a bit unusual ... alternatively, you could always move away from the gossips and see how things go .....

cats - one thing I am curious about is you said ...


"They are extremely jealous of our helpers situation and anything we do good, bad or otherwise is blown up into a ridiculous story and they are convincing the helpers we try to employ to quit!"


From this statement it sounds to me like you are trying to employ helpers from where you already live, as you say that the gossips are convincing the helpers you try to employ to quit?? Surely the gossips would have no idea who you were trying to employ unless it is someone they already know? That being the case, maybe you should try employing a helper from another source, as the gossips would have no idea who you have signed a contract with and once in your employment, if treated well, only an idiot would quit their job just because of a bit of idle gossip, if that's all it is ....

Marketing is when you focus on selling things. Some helpers refer to shopping at the market as marketing. Please don't encourage this.

Im being a little flippant but your post started with "We have repeatedly tried to find a helper that will be responsible, clean, cook and do the marketing but have had no success". Clearly marketing would fall outside of a domestic helper's duties.


On a more serious note. We had trouble with gossip, and hit it head on at interviews. We ended up with a great helper who believes she is meant to be here for us. Finding the right help is always a problem but a little honesty goes a long way - particularly if you can find someone smart to come and work for you.

A friend of ours (although they may not know it as I heard it down the DH gossip grapevine) had a similar situation. Their new helper was thinking of leaving based on gossip from other helpers saying they were too strict etc... But, it is good to know this helper decided to see for herself and has stayed on and is happy. So, yes, of course they talk about each others employers- I would wanna know if the 'grass is greener' so to speak... But, bottom line, you just havent found the right helper yet. Go to Suntek agency on Gilman in central they will find you someone great (just a suggestion). There are many helpers here who are desperate for a job. Best of luck!

G'day Cat !


I'm a NET Teacher from Canada, been here almost 7years. My wife is Filipina, former domestic here in HK and Naples, Italy. In the last 6mths I recommended my wife's sister in law for a colleague of mine with a new born...and is extremely happy with my recommendation. So if you're still looking for a domestic, my wife has a niece who has never been a domestic helper, but is a Nursing Graduate so she is educated, responsible etc..( all the expected attributes). If you are still in need of a DH ,maybe we can get in contact and my wife can meet you and your husband and see if something can be worked out. BTW..the niece is 23. Cheers! Good Luck !

overheard a conversation btwn two Filipinas and an Indoneisan helper who can understand English in a queue. As soon as these 2 F found out which flat this I helper is working (she's new) they told her she has to act as the boss and always fight back. it turned out this I helper is working for one of my friends. And I know her previoius helper was stealing from her.

Save your money, on legal fees and employ a professional western nanny, they don't gossip, and they can set the neighbours straight, especially if you are a good employer. :)

To be honest..

everything is depend from both ,between Employer and Employee ,I am working in as a DH since 2002 until 2013 in one Employer, until now I got merried in HK and being HongKong Independent because my Husband is HK Resident,

as my experienced being DH it's not easy,and and to be honest our salary was not worth it,My first salary that time was $3670/month and holiday every sunday, if i wish not to take my holiday , my employer will pay me, or if i wish i take holiday to stay at home, then no problem i can stay at home without doing house work AT ALL

,i thired to help them to stil doing light cleaning, BUT because my employer was VERY NICE, they are not asking me to do anything during holiday before or after holiday, THIS IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT DEPEND FROM BOTH OF US (EMPLOYER & EMPLOYEE),what does domestic want is just look at us as a human being not like a machine which can work in 24hour,this is the problem in HK about working hour in HK there is no such limit law like in Canada , USA,Australia or etc..

we can ask the DH to keep the house clean ,tidy and higyne ... that is the way to live , but the problem is not only the helper have to do. BUT we have to do as a team work, CCF (clean,care,follow), some people they just want to be clean but they don't want to care and they don't want to follow, because they just think that WE ARE A BOSS, LET OUR HELPER CLEAN ,WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANT ,BECAUSE WE PAY THEM.....<<<---- THESE WAY HOW TO THINK ARE BELONG TO BAD EMPLOYER,

About cooking before you hire your DH you already knew that they are different from your nationality, so to proff them to know your favorite meal, you must have to be patient ,time to time your have to be close and share what you like, and you can't order them to do whatever you like and you must get it!

DH helper is your responsibilty and is also Human being same as you,But i heard from a lot of people sahred with me , that employer are very MEAN!

example: her bed room was very small and she have to shower together with a dog bathroom, and sometime she can't use that batroom and she is trying to use th e guest bathroom, and what is her employer said, hey... VERY YUCKY! WHY YOU USE GUEST BATHROOM? oh my God! what does she think about her self? and what she think about DH?

so in this point.... Employer can't always complaint to have great and good DH and whispering to anyone which to just make gossip!correct your self before you are saying other people wrong , about stealing and anything, if there is some problem you can complaint to police right away completed with your evidence!

I have to say that no one ever BEST EMPLOYER AS MY FIRST EMPLOYER FROM 2002 UNTIL 2013 , and i am success now because of them .

I hope you all are having great time with relax and happy life ! Good Luck!

As far as I know, my ex-helper tells a lot of make-up bad stories about me because she intended to scare my new helpers away so she could come back to me. The helpers intent to scare other helpers away from a good employer.


I had have a very terrible experience of hiring flirt/ drunk/ dirty helpers and those helpers like the fact that both couples working and come home late. We don't have any other choices but to hire helpers to look after kids at home as we ourselves do not have max. working hours either.


There is nothing you could do about it except for praying. Search her on facebook, you might find something interesting...good luck.


BTW, I'm so appreciated that I finally find a good helper now...after a terrible one.

Thank you god!~

Dear Cats...

Yes it was my hard time but i really enjoyed with my ex employer! but i have proff from all my hard time with best experienced for my life, they loves me so much as espect them as my good employer and i did get whatever which is belong to me,and also they sent me to study either as what before my education is just until Secondary school , they sis sent to study here in HK at HIGH SCHOOL,AND DONE UNTIL UNVERSITY , completed with my deploma and computer

courses with certificate as well,My ex Employer was the BEST! Singaporean Doctor Family mix with american,I really enjoyed to work and very happy with them , but i have a friends which is having terrible time with some of employers, very sad!

i'm just trying to tell about relation between Employer and Employer is same in need.so Its 50/50 to be fair

and Ms.Cat sound you are nice employer too

and you had found your match helper which is you think good for everyone and make sure also she can feel same as what you say

Have a nice day everyone!