should I worry about this school?



ORIGINAL POST
Posted by Z 14 yrs ago
My 3yo has recently started preschool/kindergarten. The transition was about what I expected [clinging at dropoff, crying at pickup that decreased quickly, but lasted about 10 days altogether; some extra night waking/early rising that morphed into early bedtime and late rising over the same period]. It is still early days -- not quite a month yet, and one complicating factor is that this school runs in her 3rd language, and she is considerably less fluent than in her primary 2 languages.


She has in general seemed happy at school -- chatting about art and music and playing outside and her new friends on her way home. This morning when I was dropping her off, she seemed happy and excited; however, she was distraught when I picked her up -- so much so that it took several minutes of deep breathing exercises for her to calm down enough to grab her coat and leave; after that I sat outside with her on my lap for 15 mins talking about inconsequential things before trying to ask about what happened, and even then it has been hard to get any information out of her.


Here is what I have found out from her: she was already crying [maybe she missed me and maybe she was angry at me]; her teacher wanted her to stop crying; her teacher hurt her [there is a very small scratch on her face]. No info on what her teacher did that hurt her; no info on if it was an accident or on purpose; no other marks or bruises.


Here is what her father found out from her teacher [he is the source of the 3rd language]: she hadn't seemed like herself all day, but only started crying a lot when it was time to come in from the playground. They thought it may have had to do with a change in her schedule [usually her father drops her off].


From our observations the kids all seem happy; the teachers all seem quite loving, and we haven't had any reservations about this school prior to today. And the crying seemed out of proportion to the scratch, based on her past reactions [the last time she cried that much about getting hurt, she had knocked a tooth loose and was bleeding everywhere].


Any suggestions of questions that I might ask to help me get to the bottom of the incident [either of her or of the teachers], and/or signs to look for as I decide whether or not this is an appropriate place for her?



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COMMENTS
Z 14 yrs ago
Well, last night she woke up a lot [but she seemed to have the idea in her head that 2:30am was actually 6:30am], but then this morning she announced that she wasn't going to cry at school today, and that she wasn't hurt. When we asked about the scratch, she said that she did it herself [and made a gesture to show how]. Oh, and it was a very tiny scratch -- certainly not something that would even require a band-aid; I doubt that I'd have even noticed it except that it was on her face, and even then I thought it was lunch at first.


Drop off and pickup went pretty normally. My gut feeling is that it's both a good school and a good fit for her in particular, and in fact, we had had a discussion before even visiting the school about how much we'd be willing to sacrifice on other fronts to give her a chance to immerse in language 3, but then we've been delighted that the school has actually seemed very good. She has certainly seemed to feel more grown-up since she has started there -- it was startlingly obvious even after the first day [my kid who is normally too shy to even say goodbye to a taxi driver was telling him that we had arrived and that she'd pay him in a minute after she got some money from her mother...]





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